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;why does a person have to be sub 24/7? - 2/12/2008 12:06:04 PM

FemFetishDoll

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: pa near philly
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this one bothers me. I'm really between domme and sub in feelings. I don't like to see other people subserviant, and certainly not me. I recently happed to be invited to a "ponyplay" show at a BDSM club. Well I would love to try being a ponygirl.. I certainly don't plan to become a lifetsyle dommes sub for life. Now the domme that invited me was nice in the few Emails we shared. but when I met her I felt like dogmeat instead of guest... Think she already decided I was her slave and when she saw i'm pretty together and not a bad looking lady she got pissed? Man, she was rude to me.

Anyway.. I think this ponything would be fun and to role play a few hours would work for me. I don't think it would modify my aspect on life as a woman in the real world. I heard someone say "feminists make the best ponygirls" sheese!

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RE: ;why does a person have to be sub 24/7? - 2/12/2008 12:11:04 PM

LaTigresse

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Not knowing what your interaction and discussion was prior to actually meeting it is impossible to voice an opinion.

I would just suggest that, in the future, you be very specific, as you have here, about your feelings on how you wish to relate to people in this venue and that you do not view the play as an act of submission. But moreso, role playing. Be specific as to what you want and how you wish to interact.

It sounds like there was just a lack of communication on both sides.

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RE: ;why does a person have to be sub 24/7? - 2/12/2008 12:53:42 PM

maleonallfours

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well there are some mistresses want a sub 24/7 others don't want that. every mistress is differant

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RE: ;why does a person have to be sub 24/7? - 2/12/2008 1:01:56 PM

bleusparkles

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FemFetishDoll

this one bothers me. I'm really between domme and sub in feelings. I don't like to see other people subserviant, and certainly not me. I recently happed to be invited to a "ponyplay" show at a BDSM club. Well I would love to try being a ponygirl.. I certainly don't plan to become a lifetsyle dommes sub for life. Now the domme that invited me was nice in the few Emails we shared. but when I met her I felt like dogmeat instead of guest... Think she already decided I was her slave and when she saw i'm pretty together and not a bad looking lady she got pissed? Man, she was rude to me.

Anyway.. I think this ponything would be fun and to role play a few hours would work for me. I don't think it would modify my aspect on life as a woman in the real world. I heard someone say "feminists make the best ponygirls" sheese!

Thats happened to me before as well ... Having the dominant jump the gun, I mean. As it turns out, it was due to a lack of clear communication. I was excited about being invited to meet her and she was excited about spending time with a cute girl submissive. Somewhere along the line we forgot to actually ask what the other was looking for out of all that ...

I've never tried ponyplay myself but to my understanding, it can be a roleplay kind of thing. You don't have to be a 24/7 submissive to enjoy being a pony. In fact, a pony's "groom" often does many submissive things for the pony ... Like attending to her needs once she's in the gear and helping her to be the most beautiful pony she can be. Pony play seems more like a role play thing than soley a D/s thing to me anyway.

I agree with LaTigress. Just be very clear about who you are and what you want, in the future ...

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RE: ;why does a person have to be sub 24/7? - 2/12/2008 1:50:18 PM

FemFetishDoll

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i was invited to see the ponyplay thing. there was no discussion of me going to be a sub or whatever . Just go see, see what you think was the invite. this Domme was actually the leader of a femdom club that was having a party at the bdsm club.
No. I never had said "i want to be your sub" and I know i didn't suggest it.

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RE: ;why does a person have to be sub 24/7? - 2/12/2008 1:55:25 PM

bleusparkles

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My experience was kind of similar. We never even once discussed how we would interact with each other so I assumed we would be on equal footing and she assumed I would be extremely submissive towards her and she would be extremely dominant towards me. Eventually we did end up having to take a time out and talk it through but after that we had a fabulous time together. Had we had that talk in the first place, it would have been even better.

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RE: ;why does a person have to be sub 24/7? - 2/23/2008 10:02:21 AM

toiilet45

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About a year and a half ago i personally relocated over 2,000 miles on just 10 days notice to be collared in a 24/7/365 TPE. It was the most wonderful and fulfilling time in my life. Right up until it stopped being "24/7". Some Dommes really do want this (others merely claim that they do). But for a slave that literally drops his currenent life to enter into such an arrangement, nothing less than being made to feel like true slave every minute of every day will do. This doesn't mean "play time" all of the time, but it does mean that the slave should never feel that he has the either the power or the ability to just up and leave, or even the option of not being totally submissive just because he doesn't feel like it at the moment. A 24/7 slave has essentially consented to serve a "sentence", and should be under complete control at all times. If someone is sentenced to prison for example, they are a prisoner 24/7, not 18/6 or 12/5. A TPE slave needs to be treated the same way. After all, the slave would not make such a committment if the Domme didn't express a desire for this type of arrangement in the first place.

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RE: ;why does a person have to be sub 24/7? - 2/23/2008 10:27:38 AM

ShaktiSama

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"Feminists make the best pony girls?" Lol...prance it with pride, sistah!

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RE: ;why does a person have to be sub 24/7? - 2/23/2008 12:44:04 PM

LadyHathor

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Do not confuse or let others cause confusion bewteen Dominant and Domineering--two vastly different concepts.

You belong to no one until you agree.

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RE: ;why does a person have to be sub 24/7? - 2/23/2008 3:04:37 PM

MsCfromMelbourne

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Sometimes people get a bit carried away with the thrill and fantasy of email exchange. They love the chase and being chased.

Then when a real person shows up to meet them, they panic thinking "oh shit........I got too intimate too fast with this complete stranger. How do I get out of this?"

Being rude and treating you like dogmeat was not Domination. She was just out of her depth - having teased and lured a good looking TV to her BDSM club with her "nice" email - and then not knowing what to do with you.

She needs to learn how to meet potential subs graciously in a way that doesn't leave anyone feeling like "dogmeat" or disappointed if you just don't click.

There was no reason why you could not just be friends. I am friends with loads of TVs who don't want to sub to me and I don't want to dominate them. Doesn't stop us having loads of fun.

Perhaps next time point out that you prefer to establish trust and respect before you submit to anyone, and the one you submit to has to be really special. A Goddess. Any Domme should understand that

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 2/23/2008 3:06:31 PM >

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