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HIS collar - 2/14/2008 1:43:58 PM

HISpreciousgift

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline

my first post.....

my Master really wants me to wear a collar........i am all for it..... i am so excited for when HE places it around me neck...

HE wants me to practice because up until i had met HIM i had been in vanilla relationships.....HE helped me discover what I was looking for....

anyway, i've been trying to work my way up to using a very thin head band that is the size and width and everything of the metal one HE wishes me to wear....i've used pearls and necklaces to work my way up to it.....last night I began to practice with the actually band......

I put it on before I went to bed and I could swear it was no more than 15-20 minutes and I found I was hyperventilating and sweating and I couldn't I had to take it off......

I don't know what happened.....can someone help?

Post #: 1

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 1:52:01 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

it was too tight?

Have you looked on the internet to get an idea of the variety of collars (and how they are worn)? Has he said that he's going to put something constricting around your neck is that why you have to practice? Or is the practice to put you in the right frame of mind for a collar? Does he have the collar picked out (nevermind, I reread the OP)? I'm honestly confused.

m'Lord put a play collar on too tight once, I had to tell him that if he wanted full use of my throat it would have to be looser.

< Message edited by OmegaG -- 2/14/2008 1:53:07 PM >

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to HISpreciousgift)

Post #: 2

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 1:52:42 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

i know i cant tolerate anything real close around my neck. i've been seriously choked before, and it triggers bad thoughts in me. so no, no prettyies that are close to the neck.

Daddy's collar is a fine stainless steel cable that isnt tight on my neck at all. he knows my insecurities and works with them

kitten, who wishes you luck

(in reply to HISpreciousgift)

Post #: 3

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 1:54:14 PM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

Do you have a phobia of things around your neck? Were you building it up to mean something that scares you?

This girl is not sure what made you hyperventilate.....

Charlotte loves that you called it HIS collar though. Master makes sure his girl always remember that the collar around her neck belongs to him.

_____________________________

Stephan's slaveling

"I'm not superior, I'm just more important." Master (Stephann)

"When you are your freest self, who are you?" Jack Rinella

(in reply to HISpreciousgift)

Post #: 4

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 1:58:01 PM

HISpreciousgift

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline

I knew I should have added more detail.

No the band wasn't tight. It fit perfect. There was space and a thin layer of nothing between the air and my skin.

HIS reason for having me practice was to 1) get me in the frame of mind and 2) to get use to it......like a horse getting use to its bit....(i suppose)

my Master is very much into jewelry......he wants it custom made from Tiffany's

...perhaps I shouldn't be so excited but I am....from what I understand it won't be constricting just there....

I don't know what happened last night.....I put it on went to bed and......just couldn't do it........I felt so sad.....I haven't told my Master.....in a way i am scared to....

my training hasn't been the easiest.....in my line of work sass and playing with the big boys has made my mouth and my stubborn streak a mile long....and a part of me doesn't want to be "bad" at something that in my mind should be the simplest part of my training

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 5

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 2:03:25 PM

HISpreciousgift

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline

No, no phobias...... i have been psyched about HIS collar....i am a slave....perhaps i forgot that......we live states apart right now and HIS collar is to re-enforce that i belong to HIM

(in reply to charlotte12)

Post #: 6

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 2:23:37 PM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

Try wearing a soft velvet or cloth choker necklace, or just tie a ribbon loosely around your neck (something that will easily shift or come undone if it constricts). It should help acclimate you. Sleeping may be the hardest for you, strange stimuli while trying to sleep alway bugged me. I still to this day can't sleep with socks on, weird or what?
Go to bed early and just lay there wearing whatever you feel is most comfortable and safest to sleep with about your throat. trying wearing it while reading in bed too, or whenever you really can afford to have it around your neck. Takes time to become acclimated to wearing something like that, especially when you're trying to relax or sleep. Eventually you'll become accustomed to it.

< Message edited by ProlificNeeds -- 2/14/2008 2:24:33 PM >

(in reply to HISpreciousgift)

Post #: 7

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 2:51:12 PM

schoenekitty

Posts: 44
Joined: 8/7/2007
From: Marina del Rey, CA
Status: offline

Ha- I laugh because almost the same thing happened to me last night. I dont know how it is for you- but I tend to get a little bit claustrophobic- I can't even sleepin socks because of it. If there's something too constricting around my neck (or maybe even just something) and like hair sticks to my neck at the same time I freak (which is what happened last night). Master basically had me lie there and breathe with him until I could calm my breathing and stop freaking out. Maybe the two of you could try something like that if it happens again...

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

Post #: 8

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 2:58:48 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Sometimes it helps to be rational about these things. I know, a typical guy answer, but worth a thought.

We don't usually have things near our necks (except necklaces.) Being bumped there can be extremely painful and dangerous. Yet you could go through life wearing a neck brace and it wouldn't be any more dangerous.

When I have trouble with my body, and I get nervous, I close my eyes and think "my body is just a shell. It's not me, it's a vehicle that carries my brain around. The only part of me that really is me, is my brain."

Skin, muscles, bones, these things won't last forever. We're mostly water to begin with, and if my arm were to be chopped off, my brain would still be in tact. Wearing a collar isn't any more dangerous than wearing a wrist watch; remember that the collar can't hurt you, by itself. Remember that the flesh is only a vehicle. The collar isn't for your flesh, it's for your owner.

/end ramble

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to schoenekitty)

Post #: 9

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 3:38:29 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

my girl, who is quite used to wearing collars after several long-term relationships spanning 20 years in the lifestyle, STILL has trouble during the night with a collar. The one I chose for her is a necklace with a charm. It hags low enough to tuck inside a shirt, but is short enough she can't get it over her head. Still, that's really loose. Sometimes, she wakes up with he hand between it and her neck, tugging on it. I have yet to correlate it with her feeling instable in the relationship, but it's a possibility.

See if you can wear it during the day when you're active and awake. Eventually, it will become second nature. If you've dealt with panic attacks before, use whatever coping mechanisms you have to work through it...keeping the collar on, if you can. If you can't, it's ok....it obviously has deep meaning for you and might not come all at once.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to HISpreciousgift)

Post #: 10

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 7:07:27 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Some people just don't like snug things around their necks. For me it's random, all of a sudden whatever collar/choker/ribbon I've got around my neck will start feeling too tight and it has to come off. Don't really know what triggers it but it doesn't really matter to us. Have you considered using a different physical symbol, such as a locking bracelet, ankle bracelet, cuff, or slave bracelet (AKA hand flower)?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to HISpreciousgift)

Post #: 11

RE: HIS collar - 2/14/2008 7:23:41 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

It was the first time and it didn't go perfectly- so you freak out and get all upset?

Maybe if we're at day 200 and there's no progress, then perhaps it's time to get upset. But you're talking a lifelong commitment, even a few months or years isn't that big a deal in terms of long term training.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 12

RE: HIS collar - 2/15/2008 12:01:55 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I can understand that it might freak you out. I do not like anything around my throat i cannot even wear turtlenecks. Wearing it around during the day is very good advice. If it contunies you could always do what Master did for me knowing i dont like things tight around my throat. He got me a gold circle with diamonds and put it on an 18K gold chain i never take it off. Maybe that would work for you also.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 13

RE: HIS collar - 2/15/2008 12:09:39 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

I would really strongly advise taking a big chill pill and looking at this differently

start with what you can manage

wear it all day ... wear it in the shower .. wear it at work .. wear it to the gym .. wear it while you play .... and eventually you will just forget to take it off and wake up one morning wearing it .. problem solved without drama

< Message edited by softness -- 2/15/2008 12:18:23 PM >

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 14

RE: HIS collar - 2/15/2008 12:16:01 PM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

Hi, and welcome.

I have a hard time with anything around my neck also. I always wear v-neck shirts. However, when my Master places the collar on, it feels perfect. I've even been able to nap with it on, though I haven't tried it for a full night. It could be the simple act of *him* placing it on and being with me - a feeling of security comes over me. I understand you're in a long-distance relationship at this time, but perhaps you could start with something more loose until your Master is able to place the collar on himself and then pyschologically you would be more accepting of it?

Good luck!

(in reply to HISpreciousgift)

Post #: 15

RE: HIS collar - 2/15/2008 4:00:38 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

sorry to make it so simple, but i think it is the method of training - a head band will shift and bend and compress and choke you while you are sleeping, things that are meant to go around your neck won't...or if they do bend they will do so in a way that does not choke you...

solution - stick to things that were designed to go around your neck - a little bit of bone, a lot of muscles and tendons and veins and arteries and soft tissue, not around your head - a solid piece of bone....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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Post #: 16

RE: HIS collar - 2/15/2008 4:35:10 PM

HISpreciousgift

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline

Thank you everyone for your advice and help.

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 17

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