RE: Would you tell Him?

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/21/2008 6:01:28 AM

Constrictor1

Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
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NOT shoot the messenger in my above post. I am going to get my coffee and try to type more cognizantly

C

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Post #: 41

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/21/2008 10:10:50 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

Two things...
1. If your intent is to better Him as a _____, then by all means tell Him. If you feel that He will recieve it well, then you may need to be delicate about how you show Him. In a professional capacity, I would certainly want to know how to better serve my clients/patients/other... If My Love found something like this, I would EXPECT to be informed.

2. You have as a signature "I am xxblushesxx HoneyMaster, and I approve this message. " If He has indeed approved this message, would this have exposed Him to said revelation? Not to be picky... But when My Love posts, I will not put my "name" on it till I have in fact read and approved...
Just a thought.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I went to a website, (rate my _____ dot com), looked up the place HoneyMaster works, and His name and there was a rating there regarding Him.
It wasn't very flattering.
I'm pretty sure He doesn't even realize this site exists, so, if I don't show it to Him, it's possible He could go His whole life unaware.
Otoh, this IS what He does for a living, (although the people using His services don't have a choice as to whether to use Him or not....it's very specialized) (think of it like, when you go to the hospital, you don't have a choice-usually-as to which doctor or nurse helps you...it's similar to that.)
The people that leave the ratings give NO personal info. Not even a user name.
I even considered leaving a very good rating even though He hasn't been my _______ before. But, I decided against that.
So far.
Sooooo......
Any thoughts or suggestions?

~Christina

*spelling corrected*(I hope)

*lol* The reason that is on there is because some so-called dom didn't like my answer to a (rather ridiculous) question he had posted, and actually emailed HoneyMaster to ask Him about it.
I also find it funny because of the political stuff.
He doesn't have the time OR the inclination to check everything I write. He trusts me.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

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Post #: 42

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/21/2008 4:09:31 PM

DynamicSynthesis

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/29/2008
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In my experience, people don't always appreciate being confronted with information; especially, if it causes them to lose face. That can be pretty uncomfortable for all.

If he is computer literate and cares, he knows. If he isn't computer literate, I'd inform him in a way that allows him to save face. I'd bring up researching someone else's professional reputation. At that point, if he is interested he'll find it himself. If he isn't, he won't. But, I don't see anything to be gained by showing it to him.

Him grieving the loss of a parent just makes it even more delicate. Given that he's grieving, I'd just let it go. At least for several months. Grieving the loss of a parent can put someone off kilter emotionally for months.

As for posting your own review, that would be completely unethical on so many levels.

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Post #: 43

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/21/2008 4:19:06 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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Ok, well, I told Him.
He had no idea that site existed.
He didn't enjoy hearing it, but, honestly, some of what was said rang true for me, and...
He needed to hear it.
I also left feedback for the ________ that I have.
I tried to stay vey positive though. Even if I had something negative to say, I explained it, and followed it up with something positive. (just like I'd want them to do for me)

~Christina

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

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Post #: 44

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/21/2008 11:56:21 PM

HerLord

Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
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Was it as bad as you thought it would be? I expect not. Being a Dom/me does not mean by definition asshole. For some of us maybe. I am both. But If any one is in a REAL relationship, then communication is ALWAYS paramount.

Congrats on the courage to get'r'done.

And I expected as much (on the approve by...)
Again refer to comment above, Being Dom/me does not come with right of assholeishness.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Ok, well, I told Him.
He had no idea that site existed.
He didn't enjoy hearing it, but, honestly, some of what was said rang true for me, and...
He needed to hear it.
I also left feedback for the ________ that I have.
I tried to stay vey positive though. Even if I had something negative to say, I explained it, and followed it up with something positive. (just like I'd want them to do for me)

~Christina

< Message edited by HerLord -- 2/21/2008 11:57:58 PM >

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Post #: 45

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/22/2008 6:24:09 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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He actually had NO idea that site existed.
And yes, it was pretty hard, because...well...He didn't actually want to hear everything that was said by this person, but the points were so important, that I felt He HAD to. I did take someone else's advice and tease Him out of it a bit, by 'what did you do to this person? *lol*
"Being Dom/me does not come with right of assholeishness." I've met some for whom it definitely does. Just not HoneyMaster. *g*

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

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Post #: 46

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/22/2008 4:35:45 PM

EPGAH

Posts: 500
Joined: 12/25/2006
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You keep blanking out the important part: What does he do?
No need for secrecy, this is the Internet!

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Post #: 47

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/22/2008 7:49:18 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Having said that, any time the question is asked of me (when the subject has to do with him or me), "Would you tell him?" my answer is "Yes." I don't keep information, thoughts or feelings from him, that pertain to us. I would probably say, "Wow what did you do to piss that ____ off?!" and make light of it.

Ditto, ownedgirlie. Surprise, huh?

Seriously, same here. Nothing is kept secret, unpleasant or not. And I would do exactly as you said, make light of it. I could see us laughing ourselves silly over it. We do that alot about our respective work issues. It's all that keeps either of us from going postal, I do believe

...........luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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Post #: 48

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/23/2008 9:21:52 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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I'm seriously curious about what this Epgah person had to say.
He wrote me a few emails asking what exactly HoneyMaster does, and when I wouldn't tell him exactly, he asked if it was something illegal or something to be ashamed of.
I had to explain to him that there were less than 10 people in the U.S. that has this 'exact' job, (but many that have the 'general' job if that makes any sense)
He seemed po'd so, I'm very very curious....

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

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Post #: 49

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/24/2008 12:46:31 PM

Alexantraining

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Joined: 2/21/2008
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Everyone has one, an opinion that is, and here's my humble one. If you have to ask, you already know the answer, otherwise it will be a secret that will eat at you.
Like I said, only my humble opinion...

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/24/2008 7:20:41 PM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
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Skipping the replies so i'm sorry if i'm repeating:

1) as a Dominant: I would prefer my sub/slave to come to me with any information that would better myself or how I handle my business.

2) as a human: Feedback Regardless of how immature is still feedback. and even if its just a cheap shot at me I would want to know about it so that I can reflect on the "who's whats andwhy's" someone would feel strongly enough to write it. I may most likely decide to dismiss it...hey you can't please everyone all the time... but again that is my decision to make.

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/25/2008 7:29:51 AM

HEATBL4ST

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Joined: 2/22/2008
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Does the dilemma you're facing have to do with the idea that it seems like you were checking/looking up things about Him? IMHO, you should have asked what He felt about this website before looking him up. The vast majority of us in the profession are aware of it, and few, if any, put much weight behind the negative reviews. you should come clean and tell Him what you have done, in a manner you don't need me to describe.

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Post #: 52

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/25/2008 7:42:00 AM

HEATBL4ST

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Joined: 2/22/2008
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Sorry, I'll read further next time. I wish they wouldn't put this little box until you get to the last post for those of us who are computer stupid. I'm still curious about what you think: Do you feel the underlying root of the problem is that you did not ask His thoughts regarding the website before looking him up?

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Post #: 53

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/25/2008 11:09:25 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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No, absolutely not. I have use the services of those in this profession and went there to read up on them. (and to post my reviews)
It would have been ludicrous of me not to read His. *lol*
He would have been more upset with had I not, I'm sure.
He gives me the leeway that a reasonable, person of average intelligence should have; which basically means I can look at what I want to when I want. Even about Him.
Hell, I googled Him before we met. Over 4,000 hits, some for a book He wrote, some for the public speaking He does, and some for what this thread is about. He can't hide very well...
*lol*

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

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Post #: 54