RE: First name basis when talking

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: First name basis when talking

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: First name basis when talking

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 6:46:06 PM

nwcutie102

Posts: 162
Joined: 1/13/2008
Status: offline

i think first name is fine... after a few chats

(in reply to YourDomNow)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 7:04:39 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

I guess I'm in the minority, I have an unusual name and if I want to chat more then once, I'll exchange names.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to nwcutie102)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 7:06:33 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Of course not, they should be called "girl"..or "little one", or "toy".

Has no one emailed you the twue master's guide yet?

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to YourDomNow)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 7:40:38 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Phonetically huh? So how hard is it to spell it in the normal way? I mean, the combination of my first and middle name is identifiable due to the uniqueness. But is there any reason for me to let anyone know that? For instance, kyst can be with the y, or kissed, or christy, ect. I don't have to peg myself into an OMG I have outed myself by giving someone the real spelling!, spot. The only reason for someone to have the correct spelling of my name is if they want it on a contract.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

I have a very unique spelling of a very common first name. My mother, bless her fucking heart, spelled it phonetically and I've been stuck with it my whole life.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to brainiacsub)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 7:46:41 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

My name is in my nick. It is not the name I was given at birth, but it is the name I use now.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to YourDomNow)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 7:48:42 PM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

y name is in my nick. It is not the name I was given at birth, but it is the name I use now.

Me too. It's what anyone who matters calls me.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 8:16:09 PM

brainiacsub

Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Phonetically huh? So how hard is it to spell it in the normal way? I mean, the combination of my first and middle name is identifiable due to the uniqueness. But is there any reason for me to let anyone know that? For instance, kyst can be with the y, or kissed, or christy, ect. I don't have to peg myself into an OMG I have outed myself by giving someone the real spelling!, spot. The only reason for someone to have the correct spelling of my name is if they want it on a contract.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

I have a very unique spelling of a very common first name. My mother, bless her fucking heart, spelled it phonetically and I've been stuck with it my whole life.

Kyst, the funny thing is, the normal way is simple and elegant. It's the phonetic spelling that's a bitch. You'd die laughing if you only knew.

The problem is, I could have just signed my mail with the more common form and been done with it all, but I am known to have occasional bouts of blondeness ( no offense to blondes everywhere) and couldn't see the obvious until I'd pissed off a few people by not giving my name. God help me sometimes....

(in reply to Missokyst)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/21/2008 6:33:53 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

As a male, talking to females, I don't demand their name. That should be something freely given only if they feel comfortable. I do use mine when comfortable, even if they don't. After all, I'm the one that wants to spank them and tie them up and ... :)

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to brainiacsub)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/21/2008 9:32:51 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

There is a cultural philosophy that to give someone your name, gives them a degree of power over you. I hate my birth name. I changed it long ago. The name I chose is very unique so.. after a while I might give them my middle name (also chosen by me). IF I don't mind them knowing it. However, if after a few chats, weeks as the OP suggests, and I still haven't given over my name, I am not interested. Even though my name is manufactured, and it is only a chosen middle name and would not ID me.. doesn't matter. If someone does not interest me, I will sign off as kyst, or.. LOL if they really irritate me, no sig at all.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Profile

Post #: 69

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 4:53:33 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourDomNow

age, meaning someone 10 years younger , and perhaps immaturity is a part of there reasoning for not wanting to give a first name....I was told by one, its for a certain amount of security.....doesnt jive with me

gimme a break. yes, not giving out your full name immediately is a nice security thing, but after you've known each other for a while and are on the track to meeing in person, you should be able to give at least a first name.

me, i dont give out my actual real given name. why? because i LOATHE it. if i could change it, i would in a heartbeat. (finances dont allow it at the moment.) Daddy knows it, but it was only after probably 2 months, and not till he saw me in person. i've been cat or kitten for years now, and dont feel for an instant that i'm lying about my name.

adoracat is a pet name my last dominant started calling me. and Daddy just calls me his.

kitten

(in reply to YourDomNow)

Profile

Post #: 70

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 4:58:27 AM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline

I have no problems giving out my name, calling me anything other than denika when they start speaking to me (pet,hon,luv) shows (at least to me) that they are not seeing me as a person and are already giving me a title that they should at least get to know me first before giving.Same thing for my first name, it tends to grab my attention alot more since it's not used as often. When Dale calls me by Sandy, I know he really, really wants my undivided attention.

Wolf's denika

(in reply to Missokyst)

Profile

Post #: 71

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 5:24:49 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourDomNow

Ok...Ive got a simple question to anyone willing to speak about it.
Is it really wrong, for a Dom to want to know the first name of the sub/slave he is speaking to?...It doesnt have to be the first email or two, but isnt it logical, normal, and common sense to know who you are talking to after a few weeks?

Opinions and thoughts..please

Wrong?

I don't think it is wrong to want anything -- actions are more definable as "right" or "wrong".

I, too, need a name before I'll talk to someone. Frankly it doesn't have to be their real legal first name but it can't be pantyboy or slutgirl or slavething either cause then I just can't take them seriously.

In return I offer my name, which you all know anyway if you cleverly remove the "the".

If you aren't willing to share your name, I think it is unrealistic to expect a name in return.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 2/22/2008 5:25:26 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to YourDomNow)

Profile

Post #: 72

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 5:35:49 AM

zuki

Posts: 37
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline

i tend to keep my name to myself until i am really comfortable with a person simly to maintain a distance from them. When a person has my name and uses it things they say to me tend to reach deeper whether they are good or bad things. it all just bounces off my nick because i feel it is not really me they are talking to.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 73

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 6:42:53 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

nick name > real name > slave/sub

that order

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to zuki)

Profile

Post #: 74

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 8:58:02 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

I tell everyone my real name. It's True Master Big Dick.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Justme696)

Profile

Post #: 75

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 8:59:15 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I have no problem telling anyone what my first name is and would find it rather odd if someone I was talking to did.

LeeAnn aka June

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to YourDomNow)

Profile

Post #: 76

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 9:02:48 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I tell everyone my real name. It's True Master Big Dick.

BadOne

only when you closed the door to early in the morning

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to SailingBum)

Profile

Post #: 77

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 10:36:42 AM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

First name sure, heck a few people and I have been mailing back and forth off forum and by the 2nd or 3rd email we are on first name basis.

poenkitten

(in reply to YourDomNow)

Profile

Post #: 78

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 10:44:35 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I have no problem telling anyone what my first name is and would find it rather odd if someone I was talking to did.

LeeAnn aka June

I like June..it's easier to type....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 79

RE: First name basis when talking - 2/22/2008 11:09:00 AM

allcatsaregrey

Posts: 77
Joined: 11/2/2007
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

It looks like I've started a trend with "tits" - but, don't credit me, credit Dennis Hopper in "Blue Velvet."

Come to think of it, I like being called "c." or "grey" rather than using my first name. Somehow, it removes me from the "vanilla" world, where I'm known as "That girl named after the singer who wrote a song about Mick Jagger." Does that make any sense?

_____________________________

Warm Regards,
c.,
The "Service with a Smile" Slut

"Domination's the name of the game, in bed or in life, they're both just the same - Except in one you're fulfilled
at the end of the day."

- Depeche Mode, "Master & servant"

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 80