RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (Full Version)

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SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 9:27:17 AM)

FR
I tend to the.dark's assessment of this situation as being of questionable reality.

However, for the benefit of the doubt - what was the OP's living situation like before she left NZ for UK? Was she "escaping" a home-life that she found untenable? (Not judging whether or not it was - teenagers sometimes see things from a different perspective.) If so, she has a lot more to work out than just her master's old flames.



BlackPhx -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 9:31:59 AM)

Ok...so if I am reading that right 16-18 it would apply only if he is in a position of trust..However Under 16 Sexual Grooming would apply in the UK.

However in New Zealand he would have potentially been in violation of the Child Pornography laws in that:
* ‘Young person’ means a boy or girl of or over the age of fourteen (14) years but under seventeen (17) years ; This does not include any person who has been married.
For the purposes of the Customs Child Pornography Project, ‘child pornography’ is material relating to persons younger than seventeen (17) years of age.
* ‘Publication’ means-

  • Any film, book, sound recording, picture, newspaper, photograph, photographic negative, photographic plate, or photographic slide;
  • Any print or writing;
  • Any paper or other thing-


  • That has printed or impressed upon it, or otherwise shown upon it, any word, statement, sign or representation; or

  • On which is recorded or stored any information that, by use of any computer or other electronic device, is capable of being reproduced or shown as any word, statement, sign, or representation. 
    Not being a lawyer in New Zealand, I am not sure how well or much that would apply. Cross country lines is of course a whole different type or problem and I suspect agreements between countries as well as those who use and contribute to Interpol services would prevail. However reprehensible this person is, he was very careful to target a child in a country that had a low sexual majority age.

    I must wonder however what will happen when she ages out. He has shown a preference for 15/16 already, at 18 she is potentially getting too old and this too may be a reason he is accepting phone and text from others.While some may indeed be past conquests, that he is 'no longer" involved with, it is an ego boost to say the least that they still pant after him, some could well be the next fingerling on the hook so to speak.

    poenkitten



    • xxblushesxx -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 9:41:54 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: velvetears

    Everything else aside i have concerns that he is in a position to work with underage people and he started an online relationship with someone 15.  You say he has a writing career and is in his study a lot writing... sorry if i sound like a cynic but i think that's his cover to go online and recruit more "young hoes"


    I wondered if anyone else would think that. I was trying to get through this whole thread before mentioning it, but, since you did, I believe it bears repeating.
    Personally, I wouldn't be sending risque' pics to someone unless they indicated to me that they were welcome and appreciated.
    I'm just sayin'
    OP, you are in over your head, Hon, and your in so far you don't know it.
    Nothing wrong with exploring your subbie side at 18, but, please consider doing so with a gentleman who doesn't have to lie about your relationship, who respects who you are and your needs, and someone who doesn't make you feel insecure.
    You'll know because you'll feel safe and secure with the right one.

    ~Christina



    batshalom -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 10:46:42 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: bislavegirl4434

    He's 37, i'm 18.


    I'm not saying this is true 100% of the time, but when such an age difference is between an almost-40 man and a not-yet-20 girl, typically it's because women his own age (or closer to his own age) won't have him. I've seen it a thousand times, I've lived it a couple of times (even married one of 'em, fool that I can be) and grew to wish I'd listened when older women told me this very thing.

    You won't listen, that's ok, it's part of your job to not listen "because things will be different for you." Keep this little tidbit tucked in the back of your mind for the next dozen years or so, and offer the same advice when you see it happening to another young girl. You'll know your words are virtually meaningless to her, you will smile inwardly and remember what a lovely young fool you once were, and the world keeps spinning.



    OmegaG -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 10:52:56 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: batshalom

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: bislavegirl4434

    He's 37, i'm 18.


    I'm not saying this is true 100% of the time, but when such an age difference is between an almost-40 man and a not-yet-20 girl, typically it's because women his own age (or closer to his own age) won't have him. I've seen it a thousand times, I've lived it a couple of times (even married one of 'em, fool that I can be) and grew to wish I'd listened when older women told me this very thing.

    You won't listen, that's ok, it's part of your job to not listen "because things will be different for you." Keep this little tidbit tucked in the back of your mind for the next dozen years or so, and offer the same advice when you see it happening to another young girl. You'll know your words are virtually meaningless to her, you will smile inwardly and remember what a lovely young fool you once were, and the world keeps spinning.


    It's like paying it forward-- we can't go back and apologize to all that gave us words of wisdom so we impart that which we learned the hard way on the next batch, hoping against hope that we can save them some of the heart ache that others tried to save us from.

    I was lucky, when I was 19 and dating a 30 something, HIS friends cared enough about me to make me see the real story, of course it meant tricking me on false pretences to witness his other activities, but I appreciate their efforts.



    LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 10:58:07 AM)

    If you say so.  I was engaged to a 30yo when I was 18- he was and is a wonderful supportive man who could have given me anything I dreamed of- except polyamory or kink. 

    Then just before I turned 19 I got involved with a 42 yo.  The relationship lasted almost 4 years.  Now, it shouldn't have lasted that long, but the reasons had honestly nothing to do with the age difference.

    Then, at 21, it was my aunt and her husband, age 35 (him) and 46 (her).  Again, the age difference was not a factor in the relationship ending.

    Then, at 22, another couple, both in their 40s.  Again, age difference was not a factor.

    Then at 23, my master who was over 50.  Again, age difference was not a factor.

    Now, I am 28 and my live-in partner is 44.  It's better than anything I could have ever dreamed of deserving.

    I was quite a young fool- but it had nothing to do with getting involved with older people.

    Of course age difference is a big deal, and it's a bigger deal when you're younger, and the chances of ANY relationship lasting a lifetime at that age is pretty darn slim.

    But that doesn't mean it's the nail in the coffin, or if a relationship ends that it's WHY the relationship necessarily ended.  The age difference in this case IMO has little to do with the problem.  Kinky people are going to need to start dealing with the realities of younger teens who have more experience in kink and authority dynamics than their own middle aged crisis once divorced with kids just found this kinky cyber chat room and now I'm a sub cohorts. 



    brainiacsub -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 10:58:53 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: bislavegirl4434

    Ah, then you 'mum' types wouldn't be impressed to know i met him while i was 15, only when i turned 16 did he show me his dominant side though.

    CelticPrince... please email me your thoughts. I'm curious as to why you think only 6months!

    Wow, I have to concur with so many others here who are equally unimpressed. I can't help but suspect that there are probably some deeper issues going on in your life that would lead you down this road at such a young age. I wish I knew you well enough to offer more than just a token measure of online friendship. But my .02c is always free if you want it.

    I, too, am a mother of an 18 yr old daughter. She is beautiful beyond belief. She inherited the genes of physical perfection from her father, who was rather famous in his prime for his good looks and presence. That girl has been turning heads since she was 11. By 15, she was relentlessly pursued by every walking cock she encountered, many of whom were 35+ including school teachers, police officers, healthcare professionals, and other people whom she should have been able to trust and respect. At 18, she is almost exclusively interested in older men, a phase I think she'll grow out of as she matures, but it saddens me nonetheless. I ask her all the time "What do you think these men see in you? What do you bring to the relationship? You have no life experience, you can't possibly relate to his life experience, what do you talk about?, you have no education beyond high school so I doubt he's interested in intelligent discourse, you still have no idea who you are and what you want, you are still a child in many respects. What do you have to offer him other than your body?"

    Through experience and disappointment, she is slowly beginning to realize that her need for older men and their desire for her comes from a place that is largely unhealthy, for both parties. I do wish you the best in determining your own path and what is right for you.



    DesFIP -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:07:57 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: bislavegirl4434

    He's 37, i'm 18.


    I just don't like the fact that one of them (his most recent girl) is his boss.


    Ick, ick ick. He's been stringing you along on line for two years because he likes young pussy but didn't want to go to jail.

    He's had sex with his boss. Also ick worthy, smart people don't shit where they eat.

    And he's a teacher, so he would get fired the second anyone knew about cam/chat sex with minors.

    He's bad news. If you haven't burned your bridges, go home. If you have, then get a job, use the salary to get some advanced training, then get a better job.

    Oh and about him locked in his study writing? Two months ago he was locked in his study writing to you, while telling his boss that his writing career was why he couldn't see her anymore. And you know what kind of writing he was doing.

    If he thinks he is such a trustworthy and great guy, then why hasn't he introduced you to his boss, and why hasn't he told everyone the truth about your ages and when he first started sniffing around.



    LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:08:40 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: brainiacsub
    "What do you think these men see in you? What do you bring to the relationship? You have no life experience, you can't possibly relate to his life experience, what do you talk about?, you have no education beyond high school so I doubt he's interested in intelligent discourse, you still have no idea who you are and what you want, you are still a child in many respects. What do you have to offer him other than your body?"

    Wow, that sounds really degrading.

    For me it's much more that my cohorts have very little in common with ME and cannot often relate to MY life experience.

    Intelligent discourse is allowed only through public education? 

    Do most people over 40 really know who they are and what they want?  I've found most people over 40 are JUST beginning to realize what they thought they wanted and who they were really aren't it at all.



    ChazMaz -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:13:50 AM)

    I am 43, she is 28. Soul Mates all the way. We were made for each other. Getting married, having a child. Life is good.  I guess sometimes it works, sometimes it does not.



    colouredin -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:20:08 AM)

    you get 18 year olds that think like 30 year olds and you getr 30 year olds that think like 18 year olds, judging a relationship based on the age differance is non sensical. My issue seems to be the apparent immaturity in some of the posts from this girl, the inherant insecurity. Poo pooing a relationship purely due to age shows a certain amount of bigotry in my opinion. 



    OmegaG -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:25:03 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: colouredin

    you get 18 year olds that think like 30 year olds and you getr 30 year olds that think like 18 year olds, judging a relationship based on the age differance is non sensical. My issue seems to be the apparent immaturity in some of the posts from this girl, the inherant insecurity. Poo pooing a relationship purely due to age shows a certain amount of bigotry in my opinion. 


    Do you think that people are poo-pooing based on the number alone or that she is percieved to be at the emotional maturity of that number?



    Paulsgirl -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:26:30 AM)

    quote:

    He is still regularly getting emails from other girls with pictures of their naked bodies/them punishing their bodies for Him, and telling Him how they want Him to fuck them.


    Dear Bislavegirl
    He is your Master. How fabulous to have a Master that other girls crave.

    If he is your Master then you must allow Him whatever it is that your Master so desires.

    Anyting else would be denial of Him being your Master. negating any part of His life, or His former life, is a negation of Him. I have done it and done it over and over again and have confessed it to Him and the punishment was the worse punishment for me that there could be: silence, avoidance of contact and near dismissal.

    Feeling jealous is a battle that i face; i cannot speak for others. My Master is an emotinal and a physical sadist. Therefore it is unlikely that He will tell me, assure me directly of my beauty, of my usefulness, or indeed of any of my qualities directly.

    But He collared me and does not have another who is collared. And He rewards me by allowing me to complete sexual, bdsm and glbt assiignements that pleasure Him and therefore pleasure me.
    This means that, yes, when i am restained yet in the presence of my Master actually hurting the breast of another, when i am blindfolded but hearing her moans of delight, then yes i fight within as well as without, with my feelings of jealousy. But i have that one worked out. I am slave, and therein lies my beauty and the lower i bow, the longer i kneel, the more i feel both His emotional and physical 'torture' of me then the gretaer i am esteemed in his eyes. And yes i have watched and i have witnessed how indeed His contact and play and sex with other women nt only transforms them but transforms me also as it gives me an objective view of, well (trying to be humble here0 it gives me an objective view of how well i and he fit/work/play and have chemistry together.

    It is indeed the fall of my own self-worth which hurts me more than anything He could do, has done and indeed will do.

    He desires my inner strength and my resolve to serve Hm; He deserves this.



    colouredin -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:34:10 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: OmegaG

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: colouredin

    you get 18 year olds that think like 30 year olds and you getr 30 year olds that think like 18 year olds, judging a relationship based on the age differance is non sensical. My issue seems to be the apparent immaturity in some of the posts from this girl, the inherant insecurity. Poo pooing a relationship purely due to age shows a certain amount of bigotry in my opinion. 


    Do you think that people are poo-pooing based on the number alone or that she is percieved to be at the emotional maturity of that number?



    I think there were a couple of rather generalised posts about age differance in itself unrelated to the op so yeah I do



    LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:38:31 AM)

    I agree- hence the number of pages talking about laws and pure numbers.  What does arbitrary laws that set arbitrary number limits have anything to do with THIS person in THIS relationship?  From what I've seen, yes, the majority of responses so far are based on pure numbers and not the personality of the actual person.



    laurell3 -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:41:59 AM)

    There are so many things wrong with this "relationship" I can't begin to comment on all of them.  My advice, run away and get therapy.  You are the problem for you, not him.  You are not making healthy choices for you and gettting involved with someone that age as well as chosing to be with someone that has no intention of making you a priority should be making you ponder what the heck you are doing.  D/s does not mean you have to be treated badly.  Using the word "Master" to indicate that you are hesitant to set healthy boundaries indicates you are romaticising what the lifestyle means and it really really doesn't mean what you think it does.  You always have the right and should have the ability to set healthy boundaries.

    Without even getting into the age thing and his occupation which is creepy and scary for those he encounters, there is no indication here that either of you are able to make healthy decisions about your own lives. 



    breatheasone -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:42:22 AM)

    I don't think age difference in and of its self is bad at all....I KNOW having relations with children IS



    RCdc -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:43:42 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: OmegaG
    Do you think that people are poo-pooing based on the number alone or that she is percieved to be at the emotional maturity of that number?


    Personally, I don't have a problem with her age and there is no clear indication she has been 'groomed' from under 16.  I don't have a problem with an older and a much younger person, regardless of sex or orientation. 
     
    I believe most people are more inclined to go - 'badbad pervert' and 'silly little girl' concentrating on the age instead of answering the question at hand and disregarding most of what has been written by the OP, which IMO is pure fantasy and bait thread.  And most people are falling for it.
     
     
    the.dark.



    laurell3 -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:44:07 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

    I agree- hence the number of pages talking about laws and pure numbers.  What does arbitrary laws that set arbitrary number limits have anything to do with THIS person in THIS relationship?  From what I've seen, yes, the majority of responses so far are based on pure numbers and not the personality of the actual person.


    The fact that he's a teacher that works with minors and approached her at 15 is not an indication to you of his ability to make healthy decisions?

    I agree, a wide age difference between legal consenting adults is not really an indication of anything, but I don't think that's the case here.  Regardless he sure isn't making her a priority and to me, his decision to approach a 15 year old and the fact that he deals with minors is scary.



    batshalom -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 11:44:08 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: colouredin

    Poo pooing a relationship purely due to age shows a certain amount of bigotry in my opinion. 


    All of it taken in context makes perfect sense. Experience also makes sense. I said there were exceptions to the rule, as there always are (LA is a prime example but I doubt she was ever emotionally immature or overly gullible).

    I stand by my original statement. Men of a certain ilk know how gullible inexperienced young women are. Many of these men are hunters and users and it has nothing to do with D/s types - they're all over the place. Women their own age, some of whom were hunted and used by older men, simply refuse to pander to the bs any more.

    Experienced older Doms who prey on inexperienced young subs know what they're doing most of the time. <disclaimer> Granted, there are exceptions to the rule and I am NOT saying that ALL experienced older Doms who like young inexperienced subs are stalkers / abusers / what have you. </disclaimer> 

    I prefer older men, always have, always will, but I've learned some really hard and sucky lessons and would love to save someone else the hassle. Call me bigoted if you want to - it matters about as much as advice to a young sub from an old one.



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