RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help

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RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/20/2005 4:53:33 PM

RainGod

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline

quote:

Thanks RainGod for adding joy to my day.

You're sincerely welcome, lil' buddy... I am glad it brought you a smile. ;)

Now if ya really wanna laugh, I got some old fart jokes that.... oh. Okay. Wrong place for that? okay. lol

(in reply to plantlady64)

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RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/20/2005 9:15:39 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I have just come to realize that I yearn to be dominated in the bedroom, but I am overweight and very self-conscious, mostly due to the fact that although they say it doesn't matter and they love my personality, it really does!!

I have seen quite a few pics of overweight Subs/Slaves - I wanted to know if it really is true that there are Doms out there that are willing to train a Sub/Slave even if she isn't Barbie?

I would just love to believe that I will find a Dom and be able to discuss things and find out what really is there for me.

Beth

This sounds like a problem that needs some serious intervention via a therapist of some sort. Normally, those of us with some weight can work through our issues and either accept our current weight, decide to do something, or succumb and allow it to debilitate us in some way. You seem to be in the debilitation phase.

I'm fat. Fuck this BBW crap; I'm 5'10 and about 280. I'm wearing a size 24 right now. Since I've been in the scene actively seeking Dominant partners, my weight has not been an issue. There are thinner girls and bigger girls than me in my local scene and other places. BDSM in my experience is much less the meat market the vanilla world is.

I have a Dominant who I'm owned by. He's an absolutely gorgeous man; he weighs half what I do, works out, and frankly I feel like I hit the man jackpot because of how lovely he is to look at. (and before someone jumps my shit, yes I'm objectifying him openly and yes he has much more to offer than just a beautiful body. In all honesty, I fell in love with his mind, and it was a bonus he was so yummy looking ~grin~.) He wasn't someone openly interested in women who were heavy. But he chose to see beyond his own discriminatory thoughts and get to know me. This man persued me; and after about a month, I gave in most willingly.

I remember the first time I went to the Black Rose weekend. It was in my first year of being a member of my local BDSM organization. I went with some friends who'd been many times before. I remember feeling a little apprehensive because I was afraid it was going to be like the "Miss America" of kink, and that I would be out of place or the oddity. Guess what? There's fat chicks and fat guys and skinny chicks and skinny guys and people in the middle all over the place in this life. Just like there is in vanilla. The differance is, in my experience, that looks are only a part of what attracts us to each other in D/s relationships.

To me, it sounds as if you are really somewhat afraid of entering into a BDSM relationship and are using your size in order to keep you away and have something to obsess about so that you don't actually have to make the leap. If that's really what you want, then this issue will probably protect you from taking a risk.

But if it's not, then really you have a choice to make. Either you are going to accept where you are at, change it, or let it eat you from the inside out. The choice is yours.

Lily

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"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to yesses4u)

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RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/21/2005 8:23:20 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

ocean princess..........<<<<<<<<<<

actually....any woman from size 16 and up is bbw.
big beautiful woman.....
that is what bbw means.

wolfie

< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 9/21/2005 8:24:25 AM >

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"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to yesses4u)

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RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/21/2005 10:36:37 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

actually....any woman from size 16 and up is bbw.
big beautiful woman.....
that is what bbw means.

BBW, as I see it, is just another label.

This acronym applies to some, and doesn't apply to others over size 16. When I was larger, I "never" referred to myself as a BBW. My attitude was much like Lily's. I just said I was "fat" too then.

Not all women that are large, like the term (I think a few posted here too, about that).

If a lady enjoys the term, to self described, then they are, by choice, a BBW. There are quite a few others, like me, that never accepted the term, and yet still others....well, that just are not "beautiful."

There's a term for larger men too, but I don't recall, right now what the acronym is. As another poster pointed out (in this thread or another), it is interesting how the topic of large women comes up regularly, but we don't see large sized men discussed.

K

(in reply to lonewolf05)

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RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/21/2005 11:50:23 AM

Evilsgirl

Posts: 25
Joined: 8/5/2005
Status: offline

i am far from a small woman...yet i have had masters in the past that would have me no other way. Daddy loves the way that i look...and so i would have to answer yes....like everything in your life..if you look long enough.and are patient enough...you will find what you need .....Evilsgirl

(in reply to imtempting)

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RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/21/2005 1:58:24 PM

RainGod

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline

quote:

There's a term for larger men too, but I don't recall

...ummm.... "BOD" (big old dude)? lol

I have often wondered if there was an exact acronym for big guys. If so, I wonder if they are divided into various groups. You know... the BBG (beer belly guys), the FFPGF (former football player gone fat), the CPG (couch potato guy), and the gardent vartiety DYFM (damn, you're fat, man!). lol

Being a big guy Myself I often feel as if I jump from one of these categories to the other. But ya know what? My heart still remains the same every day. Amazing, isn't it?

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

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RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/21/2005 4:34:11 PM

HentaiGamerKitty

Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

I'm not quite a BBW (I'm a size 14) but I have not found my size to hinder me. My Master prefers smaller subs and made no bones about telling me this when we began the relationship. He also said that the depth of a woman's submission is far more important to him than her dress size.

He also believes that if a sub is overweight, its the dominant's job to fix that both for health reasons and self esteem reasons. He was perfectly willing to accept me for consideration but insisted I go on a diet and exercise plan that he helps me with.

I don't resent him doing that in the slightest..Its like having my own personal trainer.

A man who is really after your heart and your submission will be willing to either appreciate your size, overlook it, or help you fix it. I wouldn't worry about it.

< Message edited by HentaiGamerKitty -- 9/21/2005 4:35:04 PM >

(in reply to RainGod)

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RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/21/2005 4:41:12 PM

yesses4u

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

A man who is really after your heart and your submission will be willing to either appreciate your size, overlook it, or help you fix it. I wouldn't worry about it.

< Message edited by HentaiGamerKitty -- 9/21/2005 4:35:04 PM >

Thank you Hentai, this is what I had hoped to hear!! I am no longer a BBW but an SBS and I believe what you said is completely true, especially with all the posts here. Most were very encouraging and gave great insight!!

beth

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She looks around the corner, you know the one, the life she has always known, she sees something that catches her eye, her mind, her soul and she begins to walk towards it...

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

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Oh beeeeeethhhhhh - 9/21/2005 5:52:25 PM

MasterBenedict

Posts: 309
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Have you looked at MHY profile yet?

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If you can LAUGH at it you can live WITH it!

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RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/24/2005 6:52:12 PM

suraya

Posts: 22
Joined: 7/22/2005
Status: offline

i too have had a hard time with being self conscious of my body, that is until i met my Master......He was specifically seeking a bbw. if you ever check out my profile, you will see that i "fit" that bill quite well. anyhow....since i have been His, i have never felt so good about myself. i am more than comfortable with my body, more so now than ever. He is wonderful. without a doubt you will find someone who appreciates you for you. and when you do, it will be the most wonderful feeling in the world. keep me posted, i love to hear about the sucess stories here, good luck sis!

big hugs,
suri

(in reply to imtempting)

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Post #: 30