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Kana -> RE: Submissive Saviours (2/28/2008 8:47:12 PM)
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I'm no ones saviour, nor do I want or need anyone to save me
But I have heard this complaint from a lot from women over the years
He wants a mother
or someone to cook or clean or take responsibility
Like domination allows for a delayed adolescence.
Hey wake up, smell the cat food
Domination means taking on a slew of responsibility
not shouldering yours off on some poor unsuspecting sap who didn't see it coming.
And it goes in reverse too.
There are a whole lot of folks out there who want to submit so they don't have to take responsibility in their lives.
They want someone to do for them what they could be doing for themselves.
Neither is good, neither is healthy.
I have learned to look real close for this in subs, do they want to serve or do they just want to hide behind a stronger person.
Its an interesting conundrum because much of BDSM can walk the fine line between commanding and enabling depending on the dynamics involved.
I tend to not get involved with people who have more problems than I do.
I look for the things that show a healthy life, education, long term relationships in their lives, strong ties with family, the ability to hold down a job and advance, fiscal responsibility. Things like that. They can be good indicators.
And yeah, I once didn't get together with a submissive because I walked into her place and it was a wreck.
My first thought was if this is how her house looks, whats the rest of her life look like?
Sorry, it sounds shitty but its true.
And you know what, the rest of her life was a wreck too.
Her physical surroundings were indicitive of her mental state.
Just my 2 cents worth.
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