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hopelesslyInvo -> RE: A questions of commitment (2/29/2008 1:18:19 PM)
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i hate kinksters so much, but i never considered a person a kinkster simply because "they're kinky" or like to have fun.
my idea of a kinkster is a misleading self server, which is more associated with submissives, the ones that do it only to meet their own desires. your case is similar sure, but you're not misleading, and bdsm activity is being brought to your sex life rather than your sex life trying to define bdsm, and being a switch only makes it fit in there that much better i think.
your morals, honesty, and how laid back your are make me like you, i think my 2 cents would be that you'd be best off to find someone vanilla with a good heart, but isn't opposed to playing along as the daring dominatrix, or the hapless victim, all in the good name of just having some light-hearted fun~
the way you compare it to other endeavors like sports makes sense enough to me. it doesn't sound like you have a submissive or dominant nature, or that you're even really closely labeled to a switch, and are instead very neutral natured but not conservative in mind. it sounds to me like you just have an appreciation for the practices associated with bdsm and not with bdsm itself, sort of opposite of me. like you'd be interested in things such as bondage, but mostly because you take interest in the craft, and would not be satisfied with just tying someone's arms to the bedpost, and not be satisfied with doing it with just some knot any 1st grader would know how to tie, but would be more drawn to articulate things like shibari.
or simply instead of being a lifestylist or a kinkster, you're better labeled as an enthusiast.
i don't think it would be too difficult to find a vanilla life woman who is likewise open minded, but i think vanilla is surely where you're going to find what you're looking for. unfortunately, i'm among the worst possible people to offer advice on how to go about finding, meeting, or knowing where to look for people. my advice would be about as sound as the 40 year old virgin's, all i can say is you and lifestyle would be probably too much like oil and water. you might find the lifestylers a good resource though, as if that wasn't the case already.
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