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Masterssj -> RE: Loving my Master (3/26/2008 6:11:09 AM)
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when i came on this site originally , i was looking for certain things and a certain type of person , one day i happened on my Masters ad and i knew then and there i wished to contact him and i did so . my Master was exactly not what i was originally looking for , he is married , time together would possibly be rare at times and a few other things , however as i spoke to him and learned more , i realized he was the perfect Master for me , i was never and never will look to get married again , i didnt have to wonder about the love issues and where its all going , no expectations there , no demands of it and all those other complicated issues , i understand his occupation completely , he is safe in more ways than one and a long list of other things that were extremely important to me alone . what i am trying to say is each of us has our own ideals and wants , needs etc , what works for my Master and i would not work for ninety eight percent of couples , but for us it does and thats what makes it as good as it is . you have hard decisions to make when entering a relationship , its not just about Master / sub-slave , its reality and reality will bite you every time if your not prepared for it . i never expected to have feelings for my Master , and i recall the day i realized i had fallen in love with my Master , he doesnt know i did and i will never tell him , but i recall sitting typing one of my permission requests to him and a few other things and it hit me like a peterbilt truck , walkin the dog so to speak ( meaning a fast truck ) , once i realized it , i smiled and was at peace with it , nothing changed in my mindset toward him or our relationship because i had already had the perfect relationship with him ... i dont feel he would ever care for me that intensely or love me , but i am okay with that ... should he ever find out i would hope he would allow me to have my feelings in peace and accept they are my feelings which allow me to further envelope myself in my submissiveness to him .... it all comes down to real hard soul searching and what you want and need and the person who can give you exactly what you want and need and you can give them exactly what they want and need and not a i hope i can change my Master because that never ever works not in the lifestyle nor in the vanilla world ... if he is adamant that he can not love you and you need love , then you are in the wrong relationship because it is doomed , you have expectations that he may change if you just hang on and prove yourself , but it doesnt happen that way and all that will happen is as you grow more in love with him , he will begin to feel the pressure from you for what he cannot give for whatever his reasons and then other things will crop up and as i said the relationship will be doomed and over with . should my Master ever release me , i will never venture into another D/s relationship , i could never serve anyone i didnt care about , nor could he ever be replaced not even with passing of time , but that is my burden to carry and the choice i have made . we all are individuals and we all have to make our own choices , it is far more easier to say yes Master and do what pleasures him and both Master and sub/slave are happy then it is to fake ones way through it and hoping your Master will change , it just wont happen and we cannot give you a miracle cure to make it happen .... soul searching and decisions to be made will hurt like hell , but better now than when in the midst of turmoil in your relationship .... Masters , sj
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