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Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 7:09:36 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Ok Sirs slave and I have been talking about submission quite a lot recently, what makes us do it. I was thinking of how Sir asks me to do something. I am in no way a masochist, I dont like pain in fact it scares me yet if he says to me to do something followed by "it will make me happy" I do it instantly but if he says do something "or ill get out the e-stim, cane, crop etc" I am ten times more likely to be resistant, get a stubborn look and be all proud and so on. Its a funny thing and I really cant work out why it happens. I think maybe it is to do with actually wanting the physical side to prove to myself that I can take it despite not wanting it. I dont know if that makes any sense really. I was just wondering if anyone else feels like this and could maybe shed some light on it?

edited for clarity


< Message edited by colouredin -- 3/3/2008 7:12:07 AM >

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 8:54:05 AM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings,

I have the opposite nature in many respects.  Our dynamic is filled with mental aspects much more so than physical ones.  SJ uses hypnosis with me and the changes which have come about are by his design and will.

My primary motivation in slavery is obedience.  I do not need control - I am completely capable on my own, but I crave the direction and guidance he gives because I long to obey and serve someone.  My service is a manifestation of my desire to obey.  One Dom who I was with briefly described my reaction to disobeying like i had been "burned or stung" and physically I would react, back away. 

SJ wants me to suffer for him, not try to take any pain he might inflict, but rather feed it back to him, show him all the affects of his actions.  This works for us and our relationship.

well wishes ~ fairer than she


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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 8:59:31 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't respond well to threats. If told do this or else, I will balk. I might even panic or safeword. But positive reinforcement will let me relax and take it. Negative just ups my anxiety levels and that's not a good thing.

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 11:00:29 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Positive reinforcement works best for training anyone, pets, kids, employess, subs and slaves....

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 11:09:35 AM   
trusting


Posts: 144
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline 		for me, the physical aspect simply shows the control He has and the respect i feel for Him. i do enjoy physical pain immensely, but do not intentionally try to disobey simply to be disciplined...






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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 11:27:15 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I will go along with celeste on this one.

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 2:37:36 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Dear colourdin. i want to say to you that i feel exactly the same way altho i don't mind taking some physical suffering for my Mistress if She wishes to bestow on me. It gives me pleasure to endure something that i don't like to practice but take it only for Her. But She knows very well i have my limits that will never go beyond or else She will experience (as happened in the past) a person that can be more aggressive then a D in the verbal aspect. we are not all masochists and there are also D's out there that don't indulge in inflicting pain to there subs/slaves. There are also others like a noble Lady i know and wish to become a sub or slave to that is a sadist but finds something that She likes in my service to keep me occupied and helpful to Her. There are many ways to serve and the pain factor is only one of the many that the BD&SM world has to offer. Take care and always respect and be respected for what you do and practice.

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 3:45:15 PM   
Sirandlil1


Posts: 272
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		Who needs the "or else"? Sir says jump i dont' stop to consider what might happen when i land. Sheeesh subbies come on.

lil 1 {J}

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 4:25:18 PM   
IXian


Posts: 29
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

Greetings,

I have the opposite nature in many respects. Our dynamic is filled with mental aspects much more so than physical ones. SJ uses hypnosis with me and the changes which have come about are by his design and will.



Off topic to Fairerthanshe: Does SJ have any recommendations on useful books or resources regarding hypnosis training? *evil grin*

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 5:19:27 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		This relates to my "types of subs"

-pleasure oriented
-obedience oriented
-control oriented
-service oriented

Now, any sub can be any mix of those together, but depending on which aspect gets you going the most can greatly effect how you take something.  Someone obedience oriented might cream at being told "Mop this floor" while someone pleasure oriented might feel really annoyed.

We're all predictably complicated :)

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 5:37:29 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlil1

Who needs the "or else"? Sir says jump i dont' stop to consider what might happen when i land. Sheeesh subbies come on.

lil 1 {J}


Some of us are under orders to make sure that we don't break our legs when jumping because he didn't realize how far down it was. Some of us are supposed to stop their partner from making mistakes, especially big ones. Some of us are supposed to use our brains. You aren't, fine. But that doesn't make those of us who do any less submissive. Just different.

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 6:26:58 PM   
wordstoponder


Posts: 56
Joined: 2/3/2008
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Interesting.  So, how a sub/slave reacts to certain things depends on what their idea of submission is centered around?  Hmmm.

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 6:30:36 PM   
OnlyMels


Posts: 115
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		I'm a brat if my daddy says do something I almost can't stop myself from say what if I don't? I'm not going to be the first in line for a spanking but I am very mouthy and my daddy can be a push over... I sometimes wonder if we're in the wrong roles.

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 6:37:35 PM   
wordstoponder


Posts: 56
Joined: 2/3/2008
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Agreed, DesFIP.

The dominant that I am serving insists on communication, especially if He has done something wrong, foolish, or harmful to me.  As long as I remain respectful, He will listen.  Yes, He would expect me to jump.  And He knows that our relationship is still new, and that trust is still being developed, and that I may hesitate.  I would still jump, but I would voice my fears, and seek affection, affirmation, and postive reinforcement. 

I am still working on saying something if He is hurting me.  If He told me to jump, and my legs break, He would know that something was wrong because He is very intuitive and attentive.  However, He still wouldn't know what was wrong.  I need to speak up if something He does hurts me.  Dominants are NOT mindreaders.  And even sadists have hearts and care about their pets.  They won't know what's wrong unless we speak up.

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 6:53:02 PM   
Sirandlil1


Posts: 272
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlil1

Who needs the "or else"? Sir says jump i dont' stop to consider what might happen when i land. Sheeesh subbies come on.

lil 1 {J}


Some of us are under orders to make sure that we don't break our legs when jumping because he didn't realize how far down it was. Some of us are supposed to stop their partner from making mistakes, especially big ones. Some of us are supposed to use our brains. You aren't, fine. But that doesn't make those of us who do any less submissive. Just different.


don't presume to say i don't use my brains. If you use that to judge me .. .shame on you. I am a submissive and I trust my Dom to not make me do anything that will hurt me. He won't.. to bad you think yours might.

lil 1 {J}

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A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/3/2008 6:56:35 PM   
Sirandlil1


Posts: 272
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlyMels

I'm a brat if my daddy says do something I almost can't stop myself from say what if I don't? I'm not going to be the first in line for a spanking but I am very mouthy and my daddy can be a push over... I sometimes wonder if we're in the wrong roles.


Being a brat is one thing. Hav ing a Dom that is a pushover? Ouch .. yep I'd say you are in the wrong roles. But that is just my humble opinion. My Sir would never take that from me and I love him for it.

lil 1 {J}

_____________________________

A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/4/2008 4:16:19 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlil1

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlyMels

I'm a brat if my daddy says do something I almost can't stop myself from say what if I don't? I'm not going to be the first in line for a spanking but I am very mouthy and my daddy can be a push over... I sometimes wonder if we're in the wrong roles.


Being a brat is one thing. Hav ing a Dom that is a pushover? Ouch .. yep I'd say you are in the wrong roles. But that is just my humble opinion. My Sir would never take that from me and I love him for it.

lil 1 {J}



I would say that everyone has a relationship that works for them and the fact that the relationship may not be suited to you doesnt mean that it is not a good relationship and we shouldnt judge by our own standards, i am sure that many wouldnt like to be in your type of relationship, thats the beauty of differance


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There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/4/2008 4:51:33 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

yet if he says to me to do something followed by "it will make me happy" I do it instantly but if he says do something "or ill get out the e-stim, cane, crop etc" I am ten times more likely to be resistant, get a stubborn look and be all proud and so on.

It sounds like you are resistant to being threatened.

There's nothing worse than someone saying 'do this or I am going to do this to you".

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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/4/2008 8:40:25 AM   
bliss1


Posts: 497
Joined: 3/14/2007
Status: offline 		To each of you - if the relationship works - does it really matter?

It is also my feeling that a Dom who is a "push over" may be the strongest.  Hey maybe he likes to let his girl win sometimes.  It isn't for me to say he is or is not a Dom.





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RE: Mental verses Physical submission - 3/4/2008 4:45:50 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Positive reinforcement works best for training anyone, pets, kids, employess, subs and slaves....


Agreed.  In my case at least, one of those positive reinforcements would be, say, CBT or a nice torture session.

It's one of the things that has to be worked out between partners.

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