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What if your having a problem submitting? - 7/14/2004 5:33:54 PM

StevesPetLex

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/14/2004
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Im a 20 year old submissive...I have a master now for 2 years...and...He is the best master I've ever had..stern...and in controll..but generous and keeps me safe in all situations...but...he thinks Im ready to explore new outlets of things, certain play fire, wax, torture..I get excited by it..but I can't let go of the fear...is that telling me something? or do we sometimes jsut have problems does anyone have any suestions or words or wisdom? thanks..

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RE: What if your having a problem submitting? - 7/14/2004 5:41:53 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
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Midear Lex-

I always stop to consider that while there are a few things I regret doing, I most regret the things I didn't do.

Give in- givein to the fear,and let it run like water down a drain. Give in to him, and trust that having taken you this far, it will be good further along.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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-there is no remission without blood-

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RE: What if your having a problem submitting? - 7/14/2004 5:56:48 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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I have the opposite problem. i would love to experience all that but hubby (my Dom) isn't interested and has no training in that kind of play.

I would say if you trust him go for it, just keep the line of communication open.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: What if your having a problem submitting? - 7/14/2004 5:57:54 PM

kiki blue

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
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Fear can be conquered. We tend to fear what we don't understand. Perhaps by studying more about the activities he wants you to try, asking other people about their experiences, and seeing that there's more to it than the great big Unknown will make it easier to accept.

When I look back over the things that balked me, it was because I didn't understand them, and didn't allow myself the chance to understand. As an example - about 2 years ago, I was dead against needle play. Not that I had a problem with needles from the doctor or anything, but I just couldn't see anything appealing about them.

Then, as I saw more and more people talk about them, I did some research, asked some people about it, and when the opportunity came up to be a demo during a workshop, I bit down on my fear and jumped to it. I've been dabbling with needles since then, but haven't done as much as I'd like - I've gone from it being a big NO, to "let me try more! pleaseplease please". (being single, I can harass my friends who love to poke holes in people). I think it's important to be able to open yourself up to new experiences, as that's how we grow the best.

Since the whole needle change of mind, I've become more open and accepting to new forms of play, trying things with other people. I even got my nipples pierced the other week, after years of thinking they weren't for me (I had to add to the collection - I got my hood done 2 years ago).

So to wrap it all up - don't close the door to new experiences. I say try something three times to fully know if it's for you or not. The first time you have no idea what to expect. Second time you have an idea, but you're nervous. Third time, you should be more relaxed.

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RE: What if your having a problem submitting? - 7/14/2004 6:25:14 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

I always stop to consider that while there are a few things I regret doing, I most regret the things I didn't do.

There is a movie line, or a line from a book, which this line reminded me of but I dont remember the movie it was from.

"The only thing worse than failure is regret."

Sinergy

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"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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RE: What if your having a problem submitting? - 7/14/2004 10:57:45 PM

lildorei

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Joined: 4/25/2004
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we all get stuck in a comfort zone and need a lil nudge every now and again....the human factor is we don't like change...we tend to stay to the norm....consiously changing our paradyms is a good thing....and a blessing with a strong Master to help us...

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RE: What if your having a problem submitting? - 7/15/2004 12:08:03 AM

baileythorne

Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat
I always stop to consider that while there are a few things I regret doing, I most regret the things I didn't do.

I like this from Braveheart:
"Every Man Dies, Not Every Man Really Lives."

Live. I find I feel most alive when I'm dancing around extremes.
--bailey

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Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

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RE: What if your having a problem submitting? - 7/17/2004 3:01:41 PM

pixieunleashed

Posts: 105
Joined: 7/11/2004
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F-false
E-evidence
A-appearing
R-real

Just a cool acronym someone gave me once and I use now everytime I feel "panicy" Hope it helps....I would say, if it is just fear that is holding you back from trying things, and not that it grosses you out, perhaps you would want to consider trying it.

Fear in itself is it's own sweet rush.

Keeping your communication lines open and trying things slowly, not only help with the fear level, it is also crucial to maintaining your relationship with your Dom.

thank you for reading this, have a great day,

pixie

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**please note that I realize that I am just as full of crap as everybody else, feel free to remind me anytime**

If you understand it.......you've missed the point.

[image]http://img33.exs.cx/img33/2424/pixieunleashed-2.jpg[/image]

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