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RE: Failure to connect - 9/24/2005 2:43:57 PM   
ehlovindom


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

*
He said two things that really bothered me: that disciplining a submissive woman or slave always involves corporal punishment; and that a woman gets her only pleasure from seeing her Dom or Master happy...her needs are unimportant.

i am curious about how others view this Man's opinions? There is always corporal punishment? Her needs are fulfilled simply by satisfying the Dom?

pinkpleasures


For some, he may be the ideal Dom. For others like yourself, he isn't. For me, punishment can take as many forms as the reasons for it being meted out but it doesn't exist if that isn't "part" of the relationship with my sub. As for her needs being fulfilled as long as He is happy, again, if that is what she desires, then that is what she will get. I tend to believe (rightly or wrongly) that part of me being Dominant is to understand the needs of MY sub. That is part of MY satisfaction of being with my sub.


_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Failure to connect - 9/24/2005 2:54:09 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Halifaxslave

In BDSM there is no ideal way you should be.

I was turned down by a local woman who said she does no play with switches. Sometimes us switches are seen as nasty horny things that know nothing about "true" BDSM. Run away from anyone who uses the word "true" in such a condacending context.


That's really sad.

My best slaves have been switches or discovered they were switches as they learned more about BDSM.

Of course, my best slaves have also been bisexual so maybe its just the type I attract?

And no, we don't switch, I don't switch, it does absolutely nothing for me. Well, not completely true because I have tried the bottom role and it actually made me really really angry. (lots of reasons, complex reasons for that and this isn't the place to get into it).

I think part of my attraction to switches an bisexuals who chose to submit and perhaps even become my slave is that it really is a choice and maybe the choice of me means I'm special. That would so cool, to feel that special and that trustworthy and that respected.

Rambling again......

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Halifaxslave)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Failure to connect - 9/24/2005 3:40:15 PM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

He said two things that really bothered me: that disciplining a submissive woman or slave always involves corporal punishment; and that a woman gets her only pleasure from seeing her Dom or Master happy...her needs are unimportant.



Those things should bother you and good for you. Any sentence that begins: A submissive woman or slave always.... would be an instant red flag to me, unless maybe followed by "needs to breath" or "needs to eat" or something of that nature.

I do receive pleasure from seeing my Master happy, an extreme happiness for me.............but my ONLY pleasure? That quite frankly is inconceivable to me and truly way too much of a one-dimensional life. I receive pleasure from my children, my dogs, my friends, being outside on a beautiful day, a good movie, a baby's smile, the chipmunks who chatter constantly outside my window.............and who could forget the pleasure of a damn good orgasm? Or any orgasm for that matter?

I guess that settles it then, I'm obviously not a "real slave" either because I just can't help myself..............I receive much MUCH pleasure from orgasms.........sex in general...........toys...........hands........bondage..........floggers..........crops.......

Oops.........sorry, I digress, lol. (lost in fantasyland there for a moment, lol)

You were right to move on, pink, and remember to trust your instincts.

Blessed be,

harmony

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Failure to connect - 9/24/2005 4:34:32 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Denise, I'm so happy to see you posting in this forum. I so love to read your opinion's...especially the strong ones!

K - AKA ftopindetroit, from the MI group


Hey K! Good to see you here too! Ditto on your opinions!

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Failure to connect - 9/24/2005 10:40:38 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Pink!

IB's got the right idea. That guy was a real turkey and probably hasn't got a clue. You are better off finding a real man (Dom) and getting on with your life. A real Sub has way too much to offer someone to waste her time with a turkey.

BTW, I totally enjoy givng my Sub pleasure (of course I may take my sweet time doing it!) and watching her just like she enjoys pleasuring me. I also understand her needs and desires and use them to further our relationship. That's just good common sense......

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Failure to connect - 9/25/2005 5:23:52 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		yes pp-------i'm happy.

but thank you

woofie

< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 9/25/2005 5:24:25 AM >

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Failure to connect - 9/26/2005 6:27:51 AM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Hey Pink, I hope you are doing OK!

As for the topic, people who use far reaching generalizations always raise a flag with me. I have a friend (IRL, non kinkster, known since he was in High School) who does it. Try as I might, I cannot convince him how foolish it makes him look.

I kind of think that somebody who tells another that somthing is 100% black or white is trying to voer up their own lack of confidence. Subs never get pleasure, punishment is always about corp, switches cannot be a real dom/sub. Positions that they have come to, that they may even believe, but are DESPERATE not ot have questioned.

So here's my absolute Pink, I ALWAYS break it off with somebody who talks like that and isn't willing to discuss shades of grey with me.

Nuke }:-

(in reply to lonewolf05)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Failure to connect - 10/5/2005 7:06:00 PM   
SimplySubmissive


Posts: 216
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline 		LOL... sounds like a Dom i talked to for a while....came on very strong..lots of phone calls all the time, 3,4 times a day..
the attention was nice, but he was a bit misguided... how happy can a submissive/slave/woman, whatever, be, if her needs are being ignored because he pounds his chest and says I AM MASTER....

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Failure to connect - 10/5/2005 7:17:24 PM   
JustaTop


Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Way too many into this live in odd little fantasy worlds pink. It's all about the top,all about the bottom,all about sex,protocol,ritual-tons of oddities.

I wonder at times about all of these 'one trick ponies" who seem to be so narrowly specialized and rigid in views. And what it arises from-lack of socialization, mental disorders,or just a lack of the ability to interact with others without setting it in all sorts of strange boundaries?

It simply comes back to an enjoyment of interaction in a larger world view to me. When the benefits you reap from being WITH a person outwiegh those of being WITHOUT them-you either choose NOT to connect-or just avoid them to begin with.

My personal belief with people to whom it is 'all about me', is that they are overgrown infants seeking a mommy or daddy to control. Odd,very odd-the brat taken to extremes.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Failure to connect - 10/5/2005 7:20:05 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChereeAmoor

Dear Pinkpleasures,
here is my reaction to this "Dom" and his statements:

ahhh ha ha ha ha ha
ahhh ha ha ha ha ha

*gasps for breath*

ahhh ha ha ha ha ha

Sincerely,
ChereeAmoor

P.S. ahh ha ha ha



LMFAO.. very well put!!!

(in reply to ChereeAmoor)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Failure to connect - 10/5/2005 7:23:41 PM   
Soulhuntre


Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
He said two things that really bothered me: that disciplining a submissive woman or slave always involves corporal punishment; and that a woman gets her only pleasure from seeing her Dom or Master happy...her needs are unimportant.


I'll ignore most of the issues in the post because others have already commented and honestly there isn't much to say of value.

However, I'll comment ont hese two:

1) No, punishment (when it is used) does not always incorporate corporal punishment. The issue of punishment as a whole is a interesting one in BDSM cuircles and often debated (my thoughts ont he debate at the link).

2) Whether a servant gets their "only pleasure" or not from service isn't really a issue for me. Her "needs" aren't really either. By that I mean this - obviously serving me >is< filling her needs or she wouldn't be doing it. I do not alter how I run my house to suit her. If her needs aren't met, her urge to serve will end.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Failure to connect - 10/5/2005 8:22:03 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

He said two things that really bothered me: that disciplining a submissive woman or slave always involves corporal punishment; and that a woman gets her only pleasure from seeing her Dom or Master happy...her needs are unimportant.


Guy's clearly a psycho, but I think you already know that.

Sir doesn't employ corporal punishment. He doesn't believe that it has longlasting effects. The Dominants I respect don't use blanket statments and respect others of differing opinion.

Funny, Sir and I were just talking about the second part of this ass's statement today. Sir was telling me that one of the reasons that he chose me was because I seemed like a functional adult woman, in addition to being a submissive. He went on to note that he'd observed a lot of women in the scene who seem to think being submissive entitles them to negate the regular responsibilities of being an adult woman simply because they are submissive. Sir expects me to be part of our relationship and understands that no healthy relationship is a one-way street.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Failure to connect - 10/6/2005 8:15:05 AM   
subkitten32


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/19/2005
Status: offline 		Ditto to most of the replies here Pink Pleasures! He obviously was not the one for you and if your Spidey Sense was tingling, then you are right to not go any further in this relationship!

Be Well and good luck the right one is out there!
kitten

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Failure to connect - 10/6/2005 8:22:49 AM   
hawk58


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Many people don't believe in punishment. For us, the punishment is more for me than it is for Him. I have a tendency to beat myself up emotionally when I've made a mistake or disappointed Him in any way, and I have trouble granting myself forgiveness. A physical punishment lets me know that A) He has forgiven me and we're OK, and B) I can now forgive myself and let it go.


I couldnt agree more! I also like when Maste rbeats my as just for the sheer enjoyment of it. When i am given corpral punishment- which is rare....i do not enjoy it, nor am i supposed to enjoy it. But it serves its purpose.

-dove

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Failure to connect - 10/9/2005 4:35:04 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		What happened was that you learned about him via the internet. He gave simplistic answers and you saw warning flags. He was not what you wanted. Chalk one up for the online meeting process…the sifting process.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to hawk58)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Failure to connect - 10/9/2005 5:07:32 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:



ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
He said two things that really bothered me: that disciplining a submissive woman or slave always involves corporal punishment; and that a woman gets her only pleasure from seeing her Dom or Master happy...her needs are unimportant.


G'day pink, m'gorgeous classy lady. I'm hoping things are better for you now.. Trade secret for the aftermath of such incidents. get a punching bag pt at least a well filler pillow, Pin a sketch of a face representing the turkey and beat the crap out of it and screem your head off as you do.. this gives you some good cardio and general body exercise. Fir hip and leg exercise have another pillow with a tiny sockettes left unfilled on it representing his tiny limp dick, and kick the shit out of it.. It will leave you with a healthy glow and a smile on your face.

I'll try to catch up with you over the next couple of days.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Failure to connect - 10/9/2005 5:17:49 AM   
Belladonna82


Posts: 171
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Ah,a slave should be happy when Master is happy...but i am just as happy when i my kids bring home a A too lol.....For one...you can not have a true relationship online....you do not know who is sitting behind the screen.i think you did the best think...despite yes to me Masters happiness is before my own but Master doesnt sit there and tease me until i never feel the release.There are so many diffrent people in the BDSM world now its hard to say who does or doesnt belong...but if you feel you belong...keep looking for the Master who you would kneel down and beg to serve....WISH u the best of luck

Forever in servitude,
bella

_____________________________

Blessed be!

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Failure to connect - 10/9/2005 6:09:42 AM   
sunshine333


Posts: 203
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		these boards are very valuable in that it gives us a chance to share ideas and insights. i know very few people (real life) who live this lifestyle so i can feel a bit isolated at times ... which is why i enjoy reading posts and occassionally responding. i love to learn about how other people experience M/s (and such).

that being said ... i've also learned to place the greatest value on getting clear about what is and is not acceptable for me in any relationship. my experiences, combined with a whole lot of soul searching, gives me all the insight i need in knowing the qualities in a Master that he absolutely must have. and these qualities are different for every single one of us.

the internet (and then phone) is a wonderfully safe way to weed out potential predators. the trick (in my opinion) is to pay attention to the warning signs and then trust our gut. good for you, pink, in doing just that.

~sunshine

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Failure to connect - 10/9/2005 7:03:45 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2


But I am seriously concerned here that you haven't figured out yet that this is about fulfilling yourself and knowing what works best for each individual?




I totally agree with this. You need to know what you are wanting and to not settle for anything less that will make you a fullfilled person. Some people are happy being nothing but a slave who's sole purpose is to serve their Master. That is great but wouldn't fit into my idea of a fulfilling life.

I met my Sir online and we have yet to meet. We have been together almost 6 months and are taking steps to move in together early next year. It is harder to do this online and over the phone. You have to test everything. I did that a lot in the beginning. Asking the same questions in different ways to see how he responded.

For me it has be great. I haven't had one moment of doubt that he isn't exactly who he says he is and that our ideas on what we are looking for the same. I will be a very happy and well loved slave someday. Don't settle, keep looking and learning.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Failure to connect - 10/9/2005 7:06:30 AM   
ownedjulia


Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I totally agree with this. You need to know what you are wanting and to not settle for anything less that will make you a fullfilled person. Some people are happy being nothing but a slave who's sole purpose is to serve their Master. That is great but wouldn't fit into my idea of a fulfilling life.


This may sound odd but i have quite a high powered job so have to make a lot of decisions, etc.

Therefore when i get home i NEED to be a slave whose only duty is to serve.... i find it kind or relaxing.

You are right, You do need to know what you want and not settle for anything less.



_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 40
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