RE: Confusedand sad......please help.

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RE: Confusedand sad......please help. - 3/9/2008 7:02:32 PM

katie978

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I agree with mostly everyone else on here. To me, such blatent lying about his appearance is the same as lying about his gender or orientation. Sure, everyone lies about a few inches or a few lbs, but sending someone else's picture?
He's not protecting his anonymity, he's playing a fantasy game. He likes to pretend that he's a real-life, good-lookin' BDSMer. He likes to pretend that he cares about you, he's interested in you, he feels a connection with you.
Someone who can lie about something that's so a) stupid and unimportant, and b) so easily proved untrue, has serious problems. I would bet cash money that isn't the only thing he's lied about. What other important things has he been untrue about. Did he lie about his job so you wouldn't judge him on his bank account? Did he lie about his values and morals so you wouldn't judge him on being a good (or bad) person? Did he lie about being single because he didn't want you to judge him based on his relationships?

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RE: Confusedand sad......please help. - 3/9/2008 10:18:36 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

To me, posting the WRONG picture isn't trying to protect anonymity, it's baiting. He's hoping the picture will attract someone. Posting NO picture is protecting anonymity. Or posting a picture where the face is not clearly recognizable...

I couldn't agree more. How sure are you he isn't lying about his age, and marital status too? Maybe you should suggest chatting on cam before meeting.

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RE: Confusedand sad......please help. - 3/10/2008 9:14:31 AM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
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Hi there I have been in your positon and it is not fun. You have to be very careful about meeting people online. They can put up false pictures to get you to say stuff to them like oh my gosh you are so hot and it turned out it wasn't the guy after all but a picture of a model he googled. I have done the whole online thing it didn't work for me.

I met my real Master walking my dog in a park when I was 18 and he was 31. We talked for hours that day we met. My Master proposed to me after three months we got married two months later and have been married since 2001 and we have a daughter who is almost 6. We were seperated for a year that's when I did the whole online thing and I found to be the biggest mistake of my life.

My Master let me come back because he told me he loves me and he realized I needed to grow up abit and mature and experience things. He knew when we were seperated I told him about all the bad experiences I had and he comforted me. He is the most intelligent sweetest person I have ever met. I am so blessed to be his slave and his lil pookie as he calls me. Anyways honestly I am not trying to flame anyone here but looking for someone online is a crock of shit it might work for some people but not me.

Meeeting a person in real life is so much better and fulfiling because you get a chance to know the real person inside and share your hopes and dreams. Without having to talk on a computer you can actually see their expressions. It might take a while to find someone in person but it is so worth it. But hey if the online thing works for you more power to you I wish you the best of luck.

< Message edited by Daddyslilpookie -- 3/10/2008 9:18:56 AM >

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RE: Confusedand sad......please help. - 3/10/2008 9:21:17 AM

OscarHargraves

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I have to agree with 'eyesopened' on this one. He is baiting and trying for a sucker. Don't be that sucker. If he was honest he would have posted a pic of him that didn't show his face and then sent you one that was really him and what he would look like when you met. Kick him to the curb and find an honest man that will treat you right.

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RE: Confusedand sad......please help. - 3/10/2008 9:56:57 AM

petpete

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Guys lets not forget the illusive effects of the online world. Its hard enough to make relationships work in real life, how harder would the online ones be?? Then we also have to deal with the prospect of people playing the online games. People have to be very naive to trust online relationships. Even if the parties do have some passion for each other online when they come to real life living together they may find they may experience many differences. Mean while i have made some great friends and contacts and also met my first Mistress through the net, when it comes to real life i will have to exercise some caution as to whether they are possible to sustain real life existence. There is so much more that real life partnership has to show and relationships only become real when the partners can live together in real life only.

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RE: Confusedand sad......please help. - 3/10/2008 10:27:46 AM

xBullx

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-fast reply-

Trust is a constant toil for those that face insecurities of their own.

It's a cruel world and you either live in it or hide from it.

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RE: Confusedand sad......please help. - 3/10/2008 10:34:43 AM

LaTigresse

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Psssssstttttttt..........and we all know that is not really a bull in the above photo!

All joking aside, if someone is going to lie so obviously, imagine the other things that will be less obvious. Tell him goodbye.

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RE: Confusedand sad......please help. - 3/11/2008 10:16:39 AM

Erragal

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If he lied to you about how he looks, then what else did he lie to you about?

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RE: Confusedand sad......please help. - 3/11/2008 11:12:13 PM

trusting

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Virginia
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if he has already broken the trust between the two of you, as it is apparent, then i would not consider this as someone that i would want to serve!

that was cruel of Him to do to you, i am sorry that you experienced this! truth is that He obviously has some sort of issue with the way He looks or He is simply here for kicks... if He did not want His photo shown due to His career, then He should have left the photo off of His profile and sent it out to who He felt He connected with, as many Doms on CM do.

you are not wrong in thinking that there should be physical attraction between the two of you, that does not make you shallow at all... who would want to totally serve a Dom/Master that they did not find physically attractive? not me!

even though you found the inner person attractive... the fact is that the inner person is apparently not what was expressed, if this Man has an issue with showing you who He is outside... then He more than likely had an issue with showing you who He truly was inside also!

wishing you luck...

< Message edited by trusting -- 3/11/2008 11:14:34 PM >

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RE: Confusedand sad......please help. - 3/12/2008 2:24:04 PM

KevinS

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Joined: 12/18/2004
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Sadly, the norm for me is to suspect just about anything and everything at this point.
Is cynical, but after a long time around this stuff, I've seen way too many very hopeful people fall for people who are equally hopeful that "once the click happens, those other things won't really matter".

Whether it's a real pic, whether someone is actually male/female/TG, whether their weight or appearance or age is being misrepresented, if they're married or involved and presenting themselves otherwise. I've been burned on all of those, and more, many many times.

Is one of the primary reasons that if someone won't move to phone/cam very quickly, then meeting rapidly after that, I simply won't invest the time, or the emotion.

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