Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: How can you spot a fake Dom?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 2:41:41 PM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Veexen
I think one of the most valuable ones, if a bit unpalatable, was from Softness


Yup - that's soft - a bit unpalatable at times, but valuable.

(in reply to Veexen)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 2:45:52 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: Veexen
I think one of the most valuable ones, if a bit unpalatable, was from Softness


Yup - that's soft - a bit unpalatable at times, but valuable.


never claimed to be nice ... just to be good

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 2:47:50 PM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: Veexen
I think one of the most valuable ones, if a bit unpalatable, was from Softness


Yup - that's soft - a bit unpalatable at times, but valuable.


never claimed to be nice ... just to be good


Oh you're good kid; trust me, you're good.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 2:54:28 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		anyone you WONT flirt outragously with Sundowner?

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 3:05:51 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I do listen to my inner voice but am just not sure I can trust it at the moment. I will ask him. He's been nothing but respectful and kind so far. I really hope that I'm totally wrong and that he is genuine as I feel a strong connection to him



What does that voice tell you? He "sounds" ok... respectful, etc. So what do you feel is the problem? What is giving you the feeling that he is a problem? What is the problem? Have you been with him sexually? If so how did that feel? Or if not, do you want to?

Only you can know what you feel. You never really stated what your reservations were with this guy. Let us know how you make out...

Dreamer

(in reply to Veexen)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 3:10:48 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		i think its more important to focus on the points of "why" has a person taken interest in you more then trying to spot as to who is fake or not.. Are they after you as a person or something that you may possess that they are after more likely to share or have?? Dominance has many faces and options and i have heard this from people a number of times accusing others of being fake. How can someone prove that somebody is fake?? That word for me is discriminant and does not and should not have a place here at least. The same also goes with the subs. It has been a number of times that i have been accused as a fake sub cause i cannot and will not accept the type of domination of a certain persons practice, instead of just accepting the fact that the partners are not suitable for each other.

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 3:53:31 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with you 100%. Each person has their own view and ideas about domination and submission. I just really don't like the men who pretend to be a dom and then abuse women. There are those out there. And they are despicable. I hate to see a new submissive find one of those.

(in reply to petpete)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 4:14:32 PM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

anyone you WONT flirt outragously with Sundowner?


Nope.

(Mind you an attractive mind is more important than an attractive face (but don't get me wrong, hot works). 5'2" is great and UK is good too. Where is Wiltshire?)

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 4:22:00 PM   
Veexen


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/1/2008
Status: offline 		I don't think my Dom is abusive, I think I may have been one of the lucky ones and found a good one - albeit  quickly. And I do recognise that it is very quick and that a fair amount of luck has been involved.  I panicked earlier, because of being so new to this, because of a past experience.  I didn't know how to handle what i was feeling so came on here - for advice.  And that is what I've been given.   Thanks Domahpet for what you said and I agree, I'm scared for me - which is why I am here, discussing things. My Dom has said that he wants me to chat to people, to use the forums and chat rooms, to learn as much as I can - which I think can only be a good thing.  So I'll be back.  Next time I have a problem or a concern.  Thanks to everyone!

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 5:31:26 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		Hugs and be well... looks like you didn't make a bad decision after all!!! Dreamer

(in reply to Veexen)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 5:49:19 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

anyone you WONT flirt outragously with Sundowner?


Nope.

(Mind you an attractive mind is more important than an attractive face (but don't get me wrong, hot works). 5'2" is great and UK is good too. Where is Wiltshire?)


just rolls her eyes

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 7:07:33 PM   
SinergyNstrumpet


Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

i think that when you are very new and excited about finally getting out there and finding someone, when someone does come along that seems to push all the buttons, for the first time, lets not forget (heady stuff), all of the newbie subbie instincts go into overload. they call it sub frenzy - a thoroughly recognised phenomenon. emotions go all over the place, submission is hot and scary at the same time and on top of all of that there is the requirement to trust a guy who ultimatly wants to do things that would curl your mothers toes.

plus the intensity of the internet can be incredible, particularly when suppressed sexuality is suddenly given freedom to express itself.


I have been a victim of sub frenzy. My first dom and I did not meet for a year after we first began exploring things together... he introduced me to the lifestyle, and i met him through my political activism online and we were friends through that for 6 months before we went there. I know all about attaching myself to someone that I did not meet in the real world. I know all about the feelings of sub frenzy. We did meet and spend time in the real world.. it did not work out.

I suppose I believe I did not have the emotional wherewithall to sustain a relationship when I was attempting to pursue one with my former dom. I speak from personal experience here. I met my Daddy only a few months after that relationship ended. I did have the emotional wherewithall this time to sustain what we share now. I was not operating under sub frenzy. I was not impatient to submit. The newness had worn off my discovery of my submission. I also knew more about what I wanted from a D/s relationship and went about getting it, which was an extremely empowering place to be.

Just because I state that it sounds like someone does not have the emotional wherewithall to jump into a relationship does not mean that I am judging them as somehow "flawed". Sometimes it is a good thing to know our limitations so that we can overcome them with eyes opened. It seems to speed up the process of being ready to admit that maybe we aren't in my mind... at least it works that way for me. Taking a breather for a month or two and getting acquainted with our wants and needs and desires can only help us obtain them. Doesn't mean that one can't make dom friends and get to know people...

If I were a dom I would avoid a sub with frenzy like the plague... but I am not a dom, so what would I know

Sinergy's strumpet

(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 7:49:56 PM   
BabyDollVanIsle


Posts: 103
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline 		i tried to follow lally3's link and it didn't work, so scouted out the right link. that website is great.. a lot of detailed, common sense information about the BDSM lifestyle and a LOT of great information for new subs.

http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/Lifestyle/sub_frenzies.htm

veexen, do you know what you want out of the BDSM lifestyle yet? a lot of the advice given out is designed for people who want to play without committment and use BDSM for sensation exploration and broaden their horizons.

myself, i realized i wanted to find the right man, not even necessarily the right Dominant man... but probably i would need the Dominant part for it to be the right man.

I found my right man within 2 and a half months of discovering i was submissive. he was the first Dominant man i met and submitted to.

i realized that despite my out of control sexual feelings (can we spell sub frenzy??) i did NOT want to be passed around the BDSM community having multiple sexual encounters and short relationships, or even a long ongoing relationship where it was not exclusive. i didnt' want to expose myself to the emotional turmoil of making multiple attachements with Doms hoping for a long term relationship, being enjoyed for a while, then discarded as a new more interesting 'toy' came along. and the BDSM community has a lot of that, just like Vanilla dating life has a lot of that.

i was contacted by someone i could immediately see was different, was also looking for a long term exclusive relationship, and who was an active and respected part of the local BDSM community (i hate secrecy... would simply not meet someone if i didn't have their real name and contact information under any conditions no matter how public and 'safe').

we met and i found him as loving, trustworthy and interesting as he appeared.

now, am i going to follow the advice to not let one Dom tie up all my time, to explore other possibilities?

originally i said i was going to do that.. i was not going to be exlusive at the beginning, and meet other Dom's for the experience. And he agreed, if that was what i needed to do.

but i never did follow through on that. i just wanted to be with him too much to spend time with anyone else exploring. if i had available time, i wanted to spend it with him.

i have no desire to be 'supersub' or meet 'Uber-Dom'.

it's all about what you want out of the experience.

(in reply to domahpet)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 11:51:51 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		greeneye, you make a point. There are many times that i observe profiles of men that sound pretty fishy to me. i feel very much for submissive women and i have heard of instances that they have been taken advantage of and hurt. They really need to get to know there partners well before jumping on the ban wagon..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


(in reply to BabyDollVanIsle)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/8/2008 11:56:16 PM   
SophiaCorrupted


Posts: 69
Joined: 2/3/2008
Status: offline 		The best tip I can give you is to act like an asshole and come off as a snotty brat, fake doms usually aren't in the mood to deal with that sort of thing. It's worked pretty well for me! 

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/9/2008 12:08:15 AM   
BlackKnight


Posts: 767
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		How can you spot a fake dom?? is this like where's waldo???
or is there a big red arrow above his head with white letters on it "fake Dom""" pointing at him???

" we're here out in the urban jungle searching for the fake dom, Should be easier to track than a real dom.
for there is a great abundance of these psudo-doms out there than real ones! "

_____________________________

'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'
Life of Reason, Reason in Common Sense, Scribner's, 1905, page 284"
George Santayana

Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me!

(in reply to SophiaCorrupted)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/9/2008 1:59:25 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		The OP has got to be kidding.  The fastest way to spot a fake is they either short, fat, bald, old and have a pin dick. OR tall dark handsome young and hung like a horse.  The other way to spot a fake anything is to invest some time get to know them and deciede for yourself

Here is a better quesiton.  How do I know your real???  I've been around a long time but my bull shit meter broke.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/9/2008 3:01:52 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I thought the fake doms were the ones in the fake moustaches and fake noses.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/9/2008 5:05:11 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

anyone you WONT flirt outragously with Sundowner?


Nope.

(Mind you an attractive mind is more important than an attractive face (but don't get me wrong, hot works). 5'2" is great and UK is good too. Where is Wiltshire?)


just rolls her eyes


Oh shit. Again.

A danger here soft that you'll soon work out I'm a fake dom.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? - 3/9/2008 5:28:58 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		If I were a dom I would avoid a sub with frenzy like the plague... but I am not a dom, so what would I know

Sinergy's strumpet

Hi,

yeah, so would i.  i went through it too, first time i found this and i was a total nutcase! - didnt know what i wanted, how i wanted it, all i knew was that i did.

but i think if you can read up about something, identify with it, then you can deal with it. might save some time and unnecessary confusion.

the worst is going through something like that and thinking youre going nuts and that youre on youre own with it.

lallyx

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109