RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (Full Version)

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DomButNotForgotn -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/27/2005 12:28:44 PM)

I've read of some mindfucks that were hateful, juvenile, smashed established boundaries and limits, and were very upsetting to read...

Others, like not pouring hot wax on a newbie after they have begged to receive that (even tho not really ready for it) seem to be cleaver and inspired.

Mindfucks can be petty or spohisticated, it depends on the D/s relationship, but I have to comment, the Dommes/Mistresses seem to get the whole concept down a lot better than the men do...

cheers.



MistressJan -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/27/2005 4:31:16 PM)

Call it what you wish to call it, but I think some mind games are necessary in a relationship which will take you beyond your limits. It will only happen if you allow yourself to experience things you have never done.
Work up to it, and make sure you know the person well enough, and things will be fine.


Respectfully,

Mistress_Jan



MsPurrmeow -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/28/2005 9:14:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
I don't believe in mindfucks because they're fake. If I whispered something like that into someone's ear, it would be true.


I've been pondering this statement for a few days, and I've come to agree with it. I personally abhor the idea of lying to someone just for a quick thrill. Yeah, I know it's all "fun-n-games", but it still doesn't work for me. Part of who I am, my strength and my power is from sheer integrity. Sometimes people don't like to hear the honest answer or the truth about a situation, but that's all I can give. Making a decision and creating and enforcing trust in my word is critical to my relationships.

Telling someone I am going to cut them and then not doing it just isn't my style. If I want to play with fear, I'll pass on the blindfold and get out a real knife and let them watch me, the knife and the look in my eyes as I run it over their body. Because of this trust and integrity, my playmates know without a hint of a doubt that I could cut their skin and watch them bleed just as easily as I could avoid it. They also know me well enough to know that I am trained and prepared for First Aid if it becomes necessary. I don't have to "tell them" that they are going to be cut if they are watching my eyes.

I choose play types the are very real and can create that fear without having to lie about it. If you've never been tied up with a knife to your throat, it may not seem like much, but it's a primal fear. I can play with primal. Primal leads us into that path of fear and humiliation that we are after by lying to someone and telling them something is going to happen when it doesn't. Unfortunately, there is damage to the bond when one is always left wondering if you'll follow through.

Good playtimes that can be perfectly honest are such things as Erotic Humiliaton, blindfolding, aural seduction, and affirmative objectification. These can all be considered mindfucks because of what they do inside a persons head without having to lie or make things up to get off.

I know it seems like I'm just making things more complicated, but Trust is one of my biggest reasons for being in the lifestyle. Consider it a personal Kink. Losing sight of Honesty is not worth a quick thrill for me. I know others enjoy it, but it's not something that I can do.

Purr



night101owl -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/28/2005 10:18:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPurrmeow
Because of this trust and integrity, my playmates know without a hint of a doubt that I could cut their skin and watch them bleed just as easily as I could avoid it.


The fact that you could cut them is truth, but what about the "fact" that you *would* cut them, the "fact" that they are in real danger. I'm sure there's a part of them that knows that you won't do so, but there's that other part-- you allow a part of them really believe they are in danger, to let them enjoy the adrenaline rush. Don't you encourage them to believe this thing that isn't true, even if you don't communicate it with words?

I think that almost any BDSM scene has some element of fantasy (or else it's not a scene), where the participants create some element of real risk or real power, because those are really fun to play with. In the context of that game of "let's pretend", we communicate (sometimes just through actions) partial truths. The knife to the throat is only fun in the fantasy that the person holding the knife really might do something with it.

quote:

Unfortunately, there is damage to the bond when one is always left wondering if you'll follow through


And how many times have you followed through and slit open that jugular vein?
;)



HalloweenWhite -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/28/2005 11:16:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKnottynNice

I read once at another BD/SM forum...

quote:

Mind fucks, I love mind fucks.
Like telling a subbie to scrub the toilet with her toothbrush, and while she's doing it whisper in her ear "you're going to use it when your done."


I'm sadistic & I like humiliation play, but c'mon!
There is line drawn somplace.

Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks?
Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"?

Be well
A bit of both probably-thats part of the fun-it feels real and yet its safe and no-one is going to get hur4t or pemenantly damaged in any way.


HalloweenWhite





SirKnottynNice -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (10/1/2005 12:24:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomButNotForgotn

I've read of some mindfucks that were hateful, juvenile, smashed established boundaries and limits, and were very upsetting to read...

<snip>
cheers.


Wow, first off let me say, thank you A/all for your responses.
Absolutely wonderfull the turn out in replies here.

Now I must say though, the quote above seems to really understand what I was trying to say in my post.

Mindfucks can be fun, and playfull in a scene, understandable.
But the key thing here is caring about your SO, and not hurting them, and in a lot of cases mental/emotional hurt is the worst, and usually the hardest to heal, not to forget about the trust factor involved.

I would never have made my pet scrub the toilet with her toothbrush, let alone make her *believe* I'm gonna make her use it afterwards.

To me that's gonna make her feel unloved, & hurt, & I would never do that to someone I owned.

Just my two cents.

Again, ty A/all for your replies, I'm gonna let this topic die now, but feel free to reply if you must.

Be well



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