By luck or by design (Full Version)

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OmegaG -> By luck or by design (3/13/2008 4:20:17 PM)

Sometimes after reading these boards I appreciate m'Lord more then I did when I started.  I can't say he's a unique person as I am sure that people like him just don't get talked about, but ours is a drama free interaction and he is mostly resonsible for that as he makes sure there is always time and effort put into communication.

He also is wonderful when it comes to introducing new ideas to me, he does so with words before actions and he lets me take the time to let them marinate, but he also lets me know (depending on the idea) that if it doesn't sit well with me then he's going to be OK with that.

Now lest you think that I started this post ONLY to brag about him, I often get told that I am lucky to have such a man (by the vanilla folk to which makes me giggle sometimes).  That I really hit the jackpot with him or any other euphanism that suggests that I was an inactive participent in my life.

So how often do you think that good relationships are sheer dumb luck and how often do you think that they are by design and by hard work and clear heads?



colouredin -> RE: By luck or by design (3/13/2008 4:33:19 PM)

I think its a bit of both, you have to MEET the right people, that in itself is quite a feat, I find that lots of people fall into cycles, they see themselves being with a type of person and actually that type of person doesnt fit what they actually need, this is very true of my past quasi-relationships, poitn out someone with loads of problems and id be there right away declaring undying love.

Once you have broken through whatever messed up cycle you may get yourself into and find someone who is good for you, yeah it takes work, there is no such thing as happy ever after. Unfortunatly we live in a society built on the ideals of instant gratification, if something doesnt work try a new one, give up, plenty more fish, people run at the first hurdle.

BTW I know there are a fair few relationships on here that you can tell from the posts are equally soild but congrats on having it for yourself.



HopeLost -> RE: By luck or by design (3/13/2008 6:39:57 PM)

i think finding the person you mesh well with is luck. to keep this relationship going is design.



littlebitxxx -> RE: By luck or by design (3/13/2008 7:10:31 PM)

Firstly, congrats omega on your happiness.  My answer would be "somewhere in between".  It's usually dumb luck that you find each other and then hard work and perseverence to stay together.  Enjoy!



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: By luck or by design (3/13/2008 8:01:14 PM)

Notice my screen name?  HUGE streak of luck for us in so many ways.

But hard work is part of it too.



OmegaG -> RE: By luck or by design (3/13/2008 8:04:53 PM)

I've never felt that I'm particularly lucky,  It's usually my experience that I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time or asked for the wrong thing.

But then I get that it takes luck to actually be in the right place at the right time and just happen to say the right thing, but on the other hand it seems to take alot of work to get to the point where you can be lucky.



ownedgirlie -> RE: By luck or by design (3/13/2008 8:09:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
So how often do you think that good relationships are sheer dumb luck and how often do you think that they are by design and by hard work and clear heads?


We met by fate or dumb luck, whatever one believes in.  We had instant chemistry.  And we both put in a great deal of effort to create something as fulfilling as it is to us.  I had a lot of work to do on myself, and we both evolved to expand our minds and creativity and boundaries.



phoenixinchains -> RE: By luck or by design (3/13/2008 8:15:06 PM)

i agree it takes luck to find the right people and design to keep a good thing going.



girlygurl -> RE: By luck or by design (3/13/2008 10:19:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
So how often do you think that good relationships are sheer dumb luck and how often do you think that they are by design and by hard work and clear heads?


Omega, speaking for myself, I believe a "good" relationship, actually any relationship be it a friend, parent, lover, ect... takes work  Communication, compromise, trust.... my list goes on and on.

It is my belief that individuals are brought together for a reason... a purpose... whatever it may be. 

girly



Leatherist -> RE: By luck or by design (3/13/2008 10:22:00 PM)

I've always been very upfront about my program in life-and I DO actually make compromises.

Some of it is luck in finding someone who understands with an open mind (which is very rare)

The other is being vivid enough in expression to give them an unclouded window into your internal landscape.



StormsSlave -> RE: By luck or by design (3/13/2008 10:31:23 PM)

I think for us we both happened to be at the right place at the right time in our lives to truly appreciate and grow with one another.  We are both at the end of a long string of incresingly weird and difficult relationships, and this has been like a vacation to tropical island that never ends.  Now if it would just warm the hell up!

It's great that people are happy and willing to express it.  Congratulations on your happiness.



Evility -> RE: By luck or by design (3/14/2008 3:13:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
So how often do you think that good relationships are sheer dumb luck and how often do you think that they are by design and by hard work and clear heads?


If great relationships could be had by design and hard work and clear heads alone there would be a lot more great relationships in the world. The fact that you have a great relationship is a testament that you are able to have one (not everyone is). The fact that you met someone that you work so well with and vice versa with all of the candidates available out there involves a fair amount of serendipity. I think it takes a mix of both for success.



RCdc -> RE: By luck or by design (3/14/2008 3:32:40 AM)

I don't know - this is my second post this week that makes me sound gooey.  Maybe my 'flu is having an effect!
  • I believe that people are fated to meet.
  • I believe it takes luck for that to happen.
  • I believe it takes hard work to make sure that luck occurs and hard work to assist in it's continuation to fullfil it's destiny.

 
</gooiness>

the.dark.



littleone35 -> RE: By luck or by design (3/14/2008 7:26:19 AM)

It was luck that Master and i met it is love and work that keeps us going.  2 years and still going strong.

Matt's littleone



Kitte9 -> RE: By luck or by design (3/14/2008 7:42:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HopeLost

i think finding the person you mesh well with is luck. to keep this relationship going is design.


I agree with Hope. I met my Mistress by pure chance. I was attending a seminar for work and had forgotten a pen. I walked up to the first person I saw and borrowed one. Guess who it was?



topIrishsubm -> RE: By luck or by design (3/14/2008 8:29:07 AM)

I think most successful things in life are a combination of luck and effort. By doing the hard work we sometimes put ourselves into a position to make most of our good fortune.  Gary Player, the famous South African golfer, once said “ The harder you work, the luckier you get.”



slaveluci -> RE: By luck or by design (3/14/2008 8:30:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
Sometimes after reading these boards I appreciate m'Lord more then I did when I started.  I can't say he's a unique person as I am sure that people like him just don't get talked about, but ours is a drama free interaction and he is mostly resonsible for that as he makes sure there is always time and effort put into communication

I know exactly what you mean, OmegaG.  I appreciate Master anyway but, after reading about so much drama and lack of communication, it never fails to make me appreciate even further what I really do have in Him.
quote:

I often get told that I am lucky to have such a man (by the vanilla folk to which makes me giggle sometimes).  That I really hit the jackpot with him or any other euphanism that suggests that I was an inactive participent in my life

I get the same thing from "vanilla" family, coworkers and friends.  I KNOW how "lucky" I am, believe me.  Except....I really don't believe in "luck" at all.  I consider it being "blessed," not lucky.
quote:

So how often do you think that good relationships are sheer dumb luck and how often do you think that they are by design and by hard work and clear heads?

As others have said, I feel it's a mixture of chance and determination.  We continue to be absolutely amazed that we were able to connect as we did from so far away when neither of us were really actively searching.  It was as if it were destined which we believe it was.  However, AFTER this destined meeting occurred, it only became what it has due to our determination and commitment to make it so.  I have a proven track record of choosing partners very bad for me and it has taken active work on my part to decide that this time I wanted better for myself and then commit myself to having it and enjoying it.

So, I guess I said all that to say this:  It was a matter of chance, luck, destiny or whatever you choose to call it INITIALLY.  Once the meeting occurred, it was all about choosing to pursue it and commitment to making it work................luci



sweetwenchie -> RE: By luck or by design (3/14/2008 8:36:24 AM)

As other's here have said, i believe it takes all of the things you mentioned.  i know with my first and only (failed) marriage i worked harder than i thought possible to try and make it work.  Obviously it was not enough.  ;-)  

Meeting someone you mesh with, feel a strong bond and connection with is important, that takes a bit of luck right there, making it last is what takes a bit of work, clear minds, and a willingness to stick through any rough patches to find the way through the mud together.

~shutting up and grabbing more coffee~ 



OmegaG -> RE: By luck or by design (3/14/2008 8:57:25 AM)

FR

I almost deleted this before I hit post, after I'd typed as I was wondering what the outcome would be.  I'm glad I didn't.  Thanks for all the input!



Lashra -> RE: By luck or by design (3/14/2008 10:16:44 AM)

I met my male sub in an online game when I wasn't seeking a sub. I saw his avatar name and thought it was wierd, so I sent him an IM to ask what it meant. We've been together for 4 years now.[:D]

As he said it had to have been fate because the chances that two people with the chemistry and similar interests that we share are pretty darned low. I love this man very much and whatever brought us together (if anything my curiousity), we are both thankful for.

~Lashra



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