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wandersalone -> RE: I hate it when........ (8/23/2008 7:19:41 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Briena
I hate that my friends baby just died right after he had his first birthday. I also hate that his mom, who was a single mom, feels that the only thing that blocks the pain out is drinking beer every night. I hate that I dont know what to say to her because I know its not going to really matter. I hate that I feel ashamed to see her because I dont know what to say. Most of all I just hate how life can be so cruel to take such a beautiful soul away from his mother. Life sucks sometimes is an understatement.
It is natural that you don't know what to say or do to comfort your friend, we are not given training in what to do when someone dies. Just being there for your friend, doing things like taking some food over, cleaning up around her house for her, sitting there quietly and not saying anything, hugging her, crying with her and allowing her to cry without trying to get her to stop (saying things like 'there there you will be ok'and 'don't cry' often make a person feel that they should stop crying). One of the most loving things people did and still do for my family is they talked about my brother, said his name, remembered fun times we had. Sometimes the worst part about a death is that people become scared of mentioning that person's name in case it upsets the family.... of course there are likely to be tears but there is also the opportunity to talk and remember that person with love and eventually with laughter through the tears.
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