subtee
Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
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I hate what happened to me. Some of the more sensitive of you may want to turn away…
I needed an extra large chocolate milkshake. I went to KFC because, as everyone knows, grease goes perfectly with milky, chilled chocolate drinks, so I ordered a piece of chicken too. The order-taker dude in the drive thru squawks at me that they don’t serve milkshakes. Why not? Why…not?
So, I go to Arby’s and give my exact change. All I have ordered is the extra-large chocolate milkshake. I can see it right next to the register. The same register that already has my $3.49 (down to the penny). I didn’t order something extensive like 3 dozen roast beastie sammies, or a special order that may have upset them. Give me the milkshake. I will leave. Open the fucking door and I’ll just take it and be out of your life. Don’t keep looking in there, just look straight ahead. Act like you couldn’t care any less about when you get your delectable shake of milk chocolatyness. Dammit! Why, oh why won’t you just give it to me instead of filling someone else’s bag, chatting, squawking at those in the drive up line behind me. Why the hardship?
So he finally gives me the milkshake and wishes me a “good day,” (it is 6:30 p.m.). I put the coveted creamy chocolaty cup in the cupholder and drive away out of his life as my urgent and fervent whispers had promised. I can’t get the straw open, though. It’s not worth panicking over, but for chrissake, how come the straw just bends every flipping time I try to take the thin little paper sleeve off of it??? It’s like a metaphor for everything that has gone wrong with our strong, resilient country. Now we just bend over at the slightest, paper-thin pressure. I’m not panicking yet, but I am sad indeed.
Okay, now I’m panicking. If the straw keeps bending it will develop a slit or slits and the suction will be compromised. I should have gotten an extra straw. But I didn’t! Why didn’t I ask for a second straw? So often we are the folly in our own lives!!! Oh god why so hard?! Always a battle, a struggle for every little thing! ~little sob happened here~ But then I got it open.
Oh, the satisfying squeak of straw slowly inserted…actually I kinda crammed it in there. And the moment…the moment of hard-won, but certainly earned simple pleasure is with me…it’s all I wanted… I fought for it…and it’s mine.
But all I’m getting is a neck cramp. Just as I predicted, the shaft must be compromised somewhere because I’m sucking and sucking and sucking and nothing is happening. Nothing! This is not the expected result, as nature has proven. It’s just wrong and might be more than I can handle. I persevere because that’s the person I was raised to be. I will not be beaten down, or at least if I am, I will go out sucking!!!
And then it happens…the REWARD…I have asked and asked and asked and now thank all that is good and pure and chocolaty, I am receiving and it is so………painful! Ow! BRAIN FREEZE! And my tongue is too cold to do anything but add to the freezing of the roof of my mouth, which in turn adds to the cranial icing pain…oh why? (I can’t even taste if it’s chocolate)…why me? (everything is just numb)…why is life so hard??? (it could be strawberry for all I’d know—yuck!)…why???
I HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS
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Don't believe everything you think...
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RE: I hate it when........ - 
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Did you say....."Couch"???
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