Aynne88
Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
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Poenkitten I wish you were closer! Thank you so much. Without getting into a long one again today, he is not a bad man, that makes it harder. He can be horribly verbally abusive but it is because he works 80 hours a week and he wants me to "fix" everything. This is the truth, I want nothing at all from the business, absolutely nothing, I just want my freedom and I want to go and know he isn't going to fall apart, but the adult me knows he will make it, the emotional me cries thinking about it. NOt to mention that my parents love him and they think we are divorced (we are) but trying to reconcile that is why we live in the same house. That is so not it, he is just one of those people that has a horrible time making friends because he is so bitter all the time and I know that I am the only one that he has to turn to, I really am not being a martyr, it has always been that way. But goddamnit, how long do I put my life on hold? You know what I think? That I just bite the bullet, have Sir come get me and leave, and in a few months the ex will be fine.This has undoubtedly been the worst year of my life, emotionally and financially, and I am just drained, I feel like an empty shell of my former self and god DAMN it that is not me. I don't even have an excuse about my situation, Master has said a million times babygirl just pack your clothes and nothing else come home and let's start our life. But when I get like this I hide from the world and I just want to curl up and die. At 40 years old I dont want to have to answer to my very square parents why I am leaving and I don't want to sneak out like a theif in the night either, it seems so shady, but I definietly don't see me getting anyone's blessing. I guess what I am asking is is it ok to follow your bliss if it means leaving someone you once loved wrecked? I lied, I am rambling again, I love all of you for listening to me, I really do, you have no idea how much it means to just be listened
to, of course Sir does but he obviously is far to entrenched in it to be objective. ANyway, huge hugs Poen, I love your words of wisdom .
Holly you too, thank you friend.
quote:
ORIGINAL: BlackPhx
First of all...HUGS DHR.. Hell add 6 more for emphasis.
Sit down and talk with the Things. Honestly. Talk to them about what their dad is wanting to do, and what he is "offering" and then take them on a tour of the reality of his home area. Not just the good, but the bad, the reality of life for 98% of the people there. They should not be blinded by the rainbows and unicorns, private schools and privilege but the reality of not being able to see you or grandpa, their friends and extended families that they have chosen. They may not have much but they are loved and they know it and they also know it would break your heart if they were to leave.
Second.. Aynne A couple of Hugs to you as well as a big stick. Things are not likely to get back on financial track in the construction industry for a while. Do not put your dreams and desires on hold, we lose so very much when we do that. My advice would be to sit down work out a buyout agreement through your lawyers..file it and step into a new life for you instead of remaining unhappy and under financial thrall. The buyout can be effective a year, 2 years or whatever from now, and overseen on the monthly basis by a lawyer or accountant with power of attorney for your interest in the business or someone you trust. Until you take the steps to distance yourself even though you are divorced, you are still married to him and he is going to continue to jerk you around emotionally because he knows every one of your buttons. He has you to take every frustration out on and to blame for every setback, why should he bother? As for your feeling like his Mom, and being scared entangled and frustrated..He isn't going to man up until you actually are gone and you won't step away from the habit of rescuing him and everything else until you have walked away. It's the hardest thing to do, but sometimes we have to just cut our losses and move on.
Third... While I love that my Prof's have laid out the classes and homework so I can get a head start on it...I hate that I can already see I am going to be playing catch up on the boards....ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Forth..Linea good luck with Miles..he will forgive you and cuddle very soon. Try using a boiled tea bag on the claw marks, the heat will help shrink the swelling, the tannin will help in the healing and lower the risk of infection. Black tea is great for drawing and drying out wounds.
poenkitten sending Hugs to all who need them...
_____________________________
As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)
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RE: I hate it when........ - 
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