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Breaching the second wall - 9/29/2005 6:09:19 AM   
KarbonCopy


Posts: 779
Status: offline 		Over the last half a year or so, Mistress and I have been dabling more and more into anal play on myself. (and recently on her) After some simple training I've been able to relax alot better back there, and we've been able to do alot more.

Recently I've discovered a new obstical in the way. Entry through the first sphyncter (sp?) is fine, and pleasureful, but the second is painful, and gives a burning sensation.
Now I attribute this to my buttplug not reaching far enough to also train the secon sphyncter to loosen up, and so its trying to fit these larger objects into this tiny hole.

Does anyone know of ways to get past this second wall? Its kinda a shallow hole if it cant go any further than just the first wall.

Thanks alot

~karbon

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 9/29/2005 6:16:39 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Use more lube and keep practicing. I've found there's always a little bit of pain...it's just part of the act.

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 9/29/2005 6:19:49 AM   
Evilsgirl


Posts: 25
Joined: 8/5/2005
Status: offline 		i would suggest trying a small vibrator.....and moving up in size from there. when i got back into anal sex<as my Master LOVES it>i experienced alot of discomfort with the second..but with lots of lube,patience, and constant stretching,i have no trouble now. i would start with one a tad bit larger than your finger..working up to the desirable size She will be using. you might ought to also look for a longer buttplug. Good luck

Evilsgirl

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 9/29/2005 7:04:05 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

Over the last half a year or so, Mistress and I have been dabling more and more into anal play on myself. (and recently on her) After some simple training I've been able to relax alot better back there, and we've been able to do alot more.

Recently I've discovered a new obstical in the way. Entry through the first sphyncter (sp?) is fine, and pleasureful, but the second is painful, and gives a burning sensation.
Now I attribute this to my buttplug not reaching far enough to also train the secon sphyncter to loosen up, and so its trying to fit these larger objects into this tiny hole.

Does anyone know of ways to get past this second wall? Its kinda a shallow hole if it cant go any further than just the first wall.

Thanks alot

~karbon


The second is under the control of the autonomic nervous system rather than under conscious control. This means that you have to win the trust of the "body" as well as the conscious mind. Memory of pain or subconscious fears can cause this second to tighten up even if the person believes they are fully receptive.

I'd recommend two good books:
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (its advice is really gender neutral)
Anal Pleasure and Health

One thing I've found that helps to "win the trust" of the autonomic system is pleasure. Combining orgasm with anal play and using vibration with well lubed anal toys.


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RE: Breaching the second wall - 9/29/2005 6:53:31 PM   
KarbonCopy


Posts: 779
Status: offline 		ugh, win the trust of my body? geeze I dont trust anyone lol!

I'll see about getting those books, and thanks everyone for your advice, I suppose that more practice and getting confortable with it, is the key.

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 9/30/2005 2:48:57 PM   
RainGod


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline
quote:

ugh, win the trust of my body?


I tried to do that once. I took Myself out to dinner, treated Myself to a movie (and I even paid for it all), then went driving around town for a while. Sooner or later I wound up back at My place where I offered Myself some drinks. When I tried to take advantage of Myself, My hand fell asleep.

I gotta tell ya... that is one rejection that is hard to take. lol

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 9/30/2005 3:24:53 PM   
Awakener


Posts: 88
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline 		pretty funny raingod.

Huh a second sphincter. Well I never knew. But then the Butt is not a place I find myself playing at a lot. Well not inside of it anyway.

What is beyond that. How far can someting go and be safe?

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 9/30/2005 3:56:06 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awakener

pretty funny raingod.

Huh a second sphincter. Well I never knew. But then the Butt is not a place I find myself playing at a lot. Well not inside of it anyway.

What is beyond that. How far can someting go and be safe?


It varies from person to person. Not that deep in is a 90 degree turn, but it can be negotiated with care. It's a lot easier with a hand than a toy because the fister can feel his or her way.

Fisters often buy gloves from vet supply stores because those gloves go all the way to the elbow

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 10/1/2005 1:44:18 AM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		JohnWarren, i think that was a little naughty of you. The guy is asking for help to overcome his second sphincter.
You give excellent advice about harnessing desire as a muscle relaxant, and this surely is the way and only way to go.
And then,
you mention fisting! Did i miss the bit in the middle somewhere? That was like watching a sweedish style advert on Tarrant TV (uk and Oz) at tea time with the kids around.

Some of us, are going slowly, and if we are at the 'second sphincter' phase, thats great, we will journey as far along the continuum as poss. But i didnt want to see the puppies - lol. Im think he doesnt either.

one day, maybe, certainly never say never. Just not yet.

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 10/1/2005 2:46:31 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pandoravampire

JohnWarren, i think that was a little naughty of you. The guy is asking for help to overcome his second sphincter.
You give excellent advice about harnessing desire as a muscle relaxant, and this surely is the way and only way to go.
And then,
you mention fisting! Did i miss the bit in the middle somewhere? That was like watching a sweedish style advert on Tarrant TV (uk and Oz) at tea time with the kids around.

Some of us, are going slowly, and if we are at the 'second sphincter' phase, thats great, we will journey as far along the continuum as poss. But i didnt want to see the puppies - lol. Im think he doesnt either.

one day, maybe, certainly never say never. Just not yet.



Well, he did say "how far?" [chuckle]

A few good book suggestions
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (advice works for both sexes)
Anal Pleasure and Health
Trust (anal fisting)



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RE: Breaching the second wall - 10/2/2005 5:19:40 PM   
Indigoandkarbon


Posts: 14
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline 		*deleted*

< Message edited by Indigoandkarbon -- 10/2/2005 5:20:04 PM >

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 10/2/2005 5:21:37 PM   
KarbonCopy


Posts: 779
Status: offline 		A friend of mine told me that, the problem I'm having is most likely not the second sphyncter, but the muscles in between. They're not stretched, and are automatically pushing out, the dildos.

Its kinda a pain in the ass.

....no pun intended.

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 10/2/2005 9:59:43 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ugh, win the trust of my body? geeze I dont trust anyone lol!
How about you stay focused on orally worshipping her with your body almost perpendicular to hers, and your butt close so she can reach you...
Let us assume you enjoy and really get into what your doing as does she and she lets you know it, so you're both having beaucoup fun, while at the same time she plays with your anus, and very slowly manually introduces a very-well-lubricated something that has been there before (so the diameter we know fits), maybe one which starts out smaller and gets bigger...
I've found the slow/short/gentle fucking movements while inserting to be relaxing to him and something has become fully inserted on a couple of occasions with a nervous anal play beginner... Lots of fun I found it for both of us.
Hope I expressed clearly, and hope it helps. M

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 10/3/2005 3:36:22 AM   
tarnishedhalo777


Posts: 119
Status: offline 		lots of lube and relax,relax, relax.........but it is a mental thing.You REALLLY have to want it.if you have even the slightest stress over anal or a mental hang-up, its going to take you longer to get used to it. As a giver and having received, everyone here has given you great advice. but it truly is a mental thing....go in slowwwwwwwwwwwwww and dont start out large.

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 10/3/2005 4:35:52 PM   
ed408


Posts: 19
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline 		KarbonCopy,
i believe you're dealing with the rectal sling muscles.....

Check this link for some info - http://tperkins.com/anal/anal_anatomy.html

**Relax**, never force, use mucho lube, and don't use rigid objects.... start with much
more flexible items like the jelly-soft double ended dildos.

With a combination of the above you'll be able to be able to go deeper, and slowly
work up from there. Let your body get used to each one with time - i.e. don't think
"oh, i took the 1.5in mr. wobbly one so now i can take the 2.25in firmer one as deep".
It likely won't happen.

And don't overstretch as breaking the little muscle that holds things in place inside
can lead to prolapse. eww, bleagh etc.

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 10/3/2005 8:49:39 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Karbon. How about tring a Small Butt Plug to start. I did and it went in all the way, and started coming out on it's own....the little bugger. You can always use a Butt Plug Harness till you got use to the small plug, then gradurated to the Medium. Now someone I know, uses a LARGE Butt Plug, but I hope my Ass never gets that big.....TEE HEE HEE

I since went to a medium Plug, and it takes a little more time getting it in. I do a lot of relaxing, using my Hole Muscles to Pull it in, and relax more, till it's all in. At least the Medium doesn't come out on it's own...well unles I had Beans before putting it in....ha ha ha

Now all I have to do is get a Medium Short Plug, so I can SIT properly....LMCLAO..Plug and All.

BalletBob

< Message edited by BalletBob -- 10/3/2005 8:51:18 PM >

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 10/3/2005 8:56:18 PM   
KarbonCopy


Posts: 779
Status: offline 		Hey thanks for the site, its got some really great information on there.

I've got some more things to try, and alot of practice.

Would you suggest a longer buttplug?

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RE: Breaching the second wall - 10/3/2005 9:03:55 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I would suggest a short on to start, till you get use to something in THERE ! I had an older Medium Plug, which I cut down, and sewed the seams with Nylon Thread. I just have to use a Rubber over it, to keep the seams clean. My other Medium plug is a lot more flexable, but a little longer, and makes it harder for me to sit straight some times.

I would surely start with the small plug, and if you have to, use a Harness to keep it in. Then after you got comfy and used to it, then try the medium plug. I have my own Butt Plug Harness from some Red Vinyl and Velcro for around the waist. I am mighty handy with sewing.

BalletBob

Would you care to chat some time? E-mail me if you do, and I can give you my Yahoo Messenger name.

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