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I'm not happy- let's switch! - 3/20/2008 9:03:08 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I have found a behavior I find difficult to understand.

I understand switching with one partner- as in, at times you are the dominant partner, and at times they are the dominant partner. I recognize this is not very common even among switches, but it is something I do and understand about myself.

I understand switching in the middle of a scene- it doesn't happen very often for me, but it CAN happen and there's no fighting it (if you want to enjoy the scene).

I understand certain things pushing certain buttons- one kink in one way will push you instantly into a deep sub headspace and one kink in one way will push you instantly into a deep dom headspace.

But I have heard fairly often lately about switches who switch midscene because they get frustrated or pushed. Or difficulty dealing with switches because they'll just switch in the middle of a disagreement and not discuss the issue because they are dom. This seems a bit like being a do-me bottom or avoiding the commitment more than anything.

Can anyone shed some light onto this?

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RE: I'm not happy- let's switch! - 3/20/2008 10:35:05 PM

SwitchyRooWitchy

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well in My experiences it has nothing to do with avoiding commitment. it for Me has to do with the person and the situation. If someone comes to Me automatically assuming that since I am a switch and that they are the quote unquote "Dom" that I will automatically submit or I am obligated to show them some level of submission. yet again that is only Me and My opinion.

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RE: I'm not happy- let's switch! - 3/22/2008 8:57:22 AM

Kitte9

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I have not had any experience with that scenario. Should be interesting to read the responses.

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RE: I'm not happy- let's switch! - 3/24/2008 6:02:17 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I have found a behavior I find difficult to understand.

I understand switching with one partner- as in, at times you are the dominant partner, and at times they are the dominant partner. I recognize this is not very common even
But I have heard fairly often lately about switches who switch midscene because they get frustrated or pushed. Or difficulty dealing with switches because they'll just switch in the middle of a disagreement and not discuss the issue because they are dom. This seems a bit like being a do-me bottom or avoiding the commitment more than anything.

Can anyone shed some light onto this?

I've seen and heard of this happening...and I definitely don't agree with why a person would do this. It's an abuse of title and position, and rather childish if you ask me.

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

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RE: I'm not happy- let's switch! - 3/24/2008 10:42:29 PM

MadameXTC

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Joined: 9/30/2004
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welll. I am a switch and I can tell you I have "accidently" switched mid scene. Sometimes a Dominant can push you in a certain way where it brings out your Dominant side. In our situation I am involved with a totally Dominant partner. He does not switch, when I find myself feeling the need to switch he usually lets me relax some or we end the scene right there and discuss what happened. Its probably the same thing as calling a safe word, but for us we just fall into the Dominant agressive mindframe, one minuite you feel a need to be completly submissive and if someone pushes the right button you have no desire to submit at all..... Hard to explain it to someone who hasn't had that happen. Maybe its like a bipolar D/s personality i dunno...

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RE: I'm not happy- let's switch! - 3/25/2008 3:09:48 PM

zeebra

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I am very confused about switches as well. I do not understand who will decide, who will acquiesce, how change of play midscene can occur, is there a signal, what is the signal, is there a referee, or is there an agnostic view on the position where there are those who cannot decide? Does the ultimate decision rest more on one partner than on the other and does this make the majority ruler equal to, say, the Dominant one? How does it work? I wish there were more answers.. : )

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RE: I'm not happy- let's switch! - 3/25/2008 8:50:42 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zeebra
I am very confused about switches as well. I do not understand who will decide, who will acquiesce, how change of play midscene can occur, is there a signal, what is the signal, is there a referee, or is there an agnostic view on the position where there are those who cannot decide? Does the ultimate decision rest more on one partner than on the other and does this make the majority ruler equal to, say, the Dominant one? How does it work? I wish there were more answers.. : )

I am not confused about switches, or switching in mid scene. I'm clueless about switching due to those reasons I mentioned before.

FOr us, it is simply a changing of the energy between us which we both immediately recognize. There's no other way I've found to explain it and certainly no way I can tell someone how to notice it.

Your questions might be less troublesome if you applied them to functional vanilla relationships- how do they work together?

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RE: I'm not happy- let's switch! - 3/25/2008 10:49:46 PM

MadameXTC

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I agree... when you switch in a scene with another switch, you just pick up on the atmosphere.. I think switches just have to be talented when it comes to reading body language and pick up on the feelings of others. Its the same thing as falling into a submissive mindset in the presence of a Dominant individual. If the feeling is there that drives a person to act a certain way it happens.

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