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sub4hire -> RE: How much changes after giving up control (7/16/2004 1:52:24 PM)
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I've never really had an online Dominant. I've known people I consider to be Dominant online. Those people, well they always remained the same as they always were.
Never given up control so I cannot answer that.
However, in a real life situation. When I've given my submission to my Dominant. Nothing changes for me other than I feel more secure while with him. Happier overall.
I still have safe words. Although I can't say as though I've ever used one. A safeword depends on both people involved. If they have mutual respect for one another to honor one. So, the answer would differ from person to person. Are they the type to honor safewords in the first place? Myself if they told me no, I'd be searching still. A sub just needs to feel safe.
Although, you also should not top from the bottom. Meaning trying to control your Dominant just so you get what you want. Once you submit you are telling the Dominant you have trust in them. Ultimate trust. You are essentially giving them your life. Everything has already been talked out. The rules are clear. Many Dominants choose to push the submissives. Do you trust the Dominant enough to be pushed?
For instance when I was searching I got a lot of people telling me. How I'd be their submissive and greet them at the door in a certain position. Etc..etc. To me this was ludicrous. For some it would be what they wanted.
If I had chosen a person like that I would have had to have had the right amount of trust that they didn't bring their family through the door as I was sitting there on a normal day. Or friends...supervisors or what have you.
I know I'm getting a bit off track. Your post reminded me of those days of what I considered the truly clueless dom online.
Although, what works for me may never work for you. So be true unto yourself.
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