bladerunner5
Posts: 30
Joined: 9/2/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
A common humiliation fantasy I hear about involves a submissive either
knowing of or watching his Mistress with another man. It might be that she
gives the submissive no sexual satisfaction then announces she is going
out to find a "real man", or maybe she teases him and then gets together
with a guy in front of him.
I have a question for submissives who consider this a hot button. If you
have actually acted on it, did it affect the dynamic of your relationship
with your domina in a negative way once all the "scene" aspects of it
were eliminated --ie, the next day, or a few weeks later?
This is, does the eroticism of that idea wear off at times, and leaves
you feeling at all either bitter, or threatened? Do you worry that she
may actually LIKE this guy more than you, and you will end up losing her?
How do you reconcile feelings in this kind of a scenario?
Is this a fantasy that some have experienced and found it was better left
to fantasy than reality?
What about dominants? How did this impact the dynamic of the relationship?
Akasha
One of the few times my partner had sex with another woman and I sat on the side and watched, I chose to do the watching rather than be more directly involved, and fantasized for that short time about having been 'made' to sit off to the side. It was really hot for me. It helped that I'd been directly involved just shortly before, and was invited back to being directly involved after they were done. I think if it had been his idea or hers instead of mine, I would have had huge problems with it.
I've watched my partners playing with other people and felt everything from turned on to annoyed, depending on the circumstances and my own internal stuff (funny how having low blood sugar can lead to huge emotional outbursts when watching your partner get someone else off).
I can very easily see everything going haywire if things aren't set up carefully, and everyone's emotional state checked out right beforehand. I can see even the most carefully laid out plan going sideways if any one of the participants is in even a slightly crappy mood.
It isn't quite the same thing you're asking, but I hope the data point is helpful.
Bladerunner
"If I don't ask, how can you say yes?"
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Involving other people in BDSM play - 
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