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Switch Couples - 9/30/2005 7:41:02 PM

FangsNfeet

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My thoughts on a switch couple

Switch Couple - 1. In a Dom/Sub relationship, a switch couple is one where each individual take turns assuming control during certain times and situations. 2. A couple where each individual push each other to have task completed. Both are willing to take what they dish out on each other. They will both reward and punish each other as needed to achive goals and expectations.

1. In a Sadist/Masochist relation ship, a switch couple is one where each individual will take turns giving and recieving pain as well as exchanging control in how the pain should be dilivered.

Thoughts anyone?

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RE: Switch Couples - 10/2/2005 7:54:49 PM

Moleculor

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Only that it's entirely possible for a couple to be completely one way only with each other, but, if they're in an open relationship (or break up, or remember earlier times) be the other side of the coin with others.

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RE: Switch Couples - 10/9/2005 6:42:50 PM

ShadeDiva

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Switch couples have been discussed at length in this board and they take all sorts of shape.

It is far more complicated and nuanced than as you presented Fangs.

Perhaps reading the past topics on that topic would give you more information from which to pull from.

I'd agree that most switches need to express both sides at some time or another, though. Being BDSM-poly can help things immensely for some folks.

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RE: Switch Couples - 11/17/2005 12:17:57 PM

balltoyca

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Well, I've been a Switch for a long time, over 30 years.

I started out as a sub and found, through experience and growth, that I had a talent for excellence on both sides.

My current partner, whom I have been with for many years is also an accomplished Switch. She enjoys, as do I playing either side dependant upon the situation at hand.

Our roles do not only Switch with each other, but allow us the ability to play with a wide selection of friends. Freedom from the constraints of being One or the Other. I also personally feel that the ability and experience of playing both sides extensively, makes one that much better in the other role. You understand what is going on, what the items do and don't do, what is safe and what may not be as safe.

It is a growth experience which only time can evolve into a true Lifestyle.

Personally, we both enjoy D/s and S/m, dependant on our moods at the time.

For myself, I will only sub to a female. My partner will sub to either. We play together and stay together.

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RE: Switch Couples - 12/3/2005 7:53:22 AM

LadyCompassion

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quote:

Switch Couple - 1. In a Dom/Sub relationship, a switch couple is one where each individual take turns assuming control during certain times and situations. 2. A couple where each individual push each other to have task completed. Both are willing to take what they dish out on each other. They will both reward and punish each other as needed to achive goals and expectations.

1. In a Sadist/Masochist relation ship, a switch couple is one where each individual will take turns giving and recieving pain as well as exchanging control in how the pain should be dilivered.

I would have to say that the relationship that I am in is a combination of he and I each taking turns assuming control (#1) and where we each push each other and what I give out I know I must be able to take later on (#2).
As for the sado/masochist aspect, I am the only one that receives the pain as he does not like to receive pain at all.

But in our relationship, I am more of a Dominant switch and he is more of a Submissive switch, so that often will sort things out for us.

I like the fact that we switch roles between ourselves because life never gets boring that way. One never knows who is going to be in control that night unless we establish it beforehand.

But I also find that sometimes it is rather difficult. Especially when we are both in quite submissive moods.

< Message edited by LadyCompassion -- 12/3/2005 7:55:12 AM >

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RE: Switch Couples - 12/3/2005 9:21:00 AM

Krasnaya

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I think that it takes a great deal of open communication to be a switch couple. It can also be a great thing to have such mutual respect between two people to enjoy both D/s sides of a relationship. As I've said in other threads the only time, for me personally, that it takes more patience is when both partners are feeling submissive. Poly is not an option for me so being in a switch relationship is the only way to go, and for me it's perfect. People should define their relationships, switch or otherwise, in whatever way they see fit.

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RE: Switch Couples - 1/13/2006 6:58:05 AM

MistressAlexaS

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I am in a switch/switch relationship, though 98% of the time, I am the dominate one. He just doesn't like to Dom anymore he has had enough of it. We get along very well and discuss things, open honest communication is key to any relationship. As far as punishment goes, spanking him does no good because he likes it

So I've found my giving him the silent treatment works better then anything. I tell him this pissed me off and I don't want to talk to you. In our 2 years together I think we've only had 2 disagreements. I feel people have to be true to their own nature and not live by the standards of others. If it feels right inside of you and its not harming anyone then go for it.

~Alexa

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RE: Switch Couples - 1/13/2006 3:04:53 PM

Tigress301

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Being a switch is commonly one of the most misunderstood aspects of the bdsm lifestyle in my humble opinion. I have known people to say that switches are confused, or they can't be trusted or even that they are abusive. Of course, this is not true - it is just their perception of a switch because it is something that confuses them or they do not have any knowledge about switches.

I became a switch when my relationship to my Dominant was not giving me what I needed. The relationship was very d/s (which I enjoyed). but our personalities did not mesh.

When I first started topping, it took me awhile before I experienced "top mode" and got the wonderful feeling of enjoying what I was doing to the submissive at that time.

However, in my journey through the lifestyle, I have found that I enjoy submission more than topping. I am now collared to someone who I occassionally top, but he is the one that is in control of our relationship. However, we may find someone to top him as he remains my Dominant.

When we attended parties many people thought it was comical that we "swiched" roles and sometimes they told us (this only happened at one event mind you) that we had to choose that evening as to who was dominant and who was submissive -- however, we switched that evening any way just to confuse the heck out of them.

Also, I know several couples who switch, but in public they maintain being a Dominant and will only submit or bottom while in the privacy of their own home.

In two weeks we are conducting a workshop on The Mind of a Switch. It will be interesting to see how it is percieved by those attending that evening.

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