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AAkasha -> RE: A dom inquiring about new ideas (3/25/2008 4:19:53 PM)
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A section from a post I did earlier about this subject:
3) Accept and really BELIEVE this one very important truth about female domination: If your man really wants to submit to you (and he is not just a fetishist; trust me, he will know the difference if he has done his homework and he can be honest with you), you only have ONE thing to accomplish and do right. Just ONE thing! All the rest is gravy, and all the rest will fall into place for you once you accomplish this one thing.
That one thing is this: Enjoy yourself and own your pleasure. That's IT. It sounds easier than it is, because it requires that two things happen - #1 and #2 above - you have to have a man who doesn't put expectations on you, and you have to give up those preconceived ideas about what female domination is. Those both are harder than you may think. When you start feeling uncertain, icky, uncomfortable, or resistant to the idea of dominating your man, it's because #1 is messing with your self confidence by putting expectations on you, or #2 you are putting expectations on yourself (both related to the above, as you can see).
4) Take control. Play. Frolic. Delight in his reactions and soak them in. This is the only "action" step in that it requires you to "do" something to your man. But instead of giving a laundry list, instead of pointing you to books or "how to tie your man up" or "buy these toys" or "pretend you are a person you are not" I will say simply - take control, frolic, and delight in his reactions.
Snap your fingers and say "Kiss me here. No, right HERE." and when he does it, smile. Adopt a sense of unpredictability - the mystery and uncertainty will play tricks with his mind and put him in that place that he needs to be. He wants to be submissive; trust me, he will GO there, with just the slightest NUDGE from you. So many women are trying to use a jackhammer to accomplish a task that requires a flick of her fingers. Look him in the eyes, give him a command (that is directly related to your pleasure) and watch him follow through. Tell him to give you an orgasm. Direct his position during lovemaking. Pull his hair playfully, give him a swat on the butt and smile mischievously; do all the little, minor things that come more natural and with ease, and just watch how he reacts. Marvel in how you can push his buttons just by adopting a more selfish, and self serving, self-pleasing demeanor.
Akasha
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