October (The Femdom Hunger)

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AAkasha -> October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 10:09:11 AM)
I always call my desire to dominate a "hunger." I get into moods, and when I really need it -- want it -- must have it-- it's like a hunger that's constantly nagging me and distracts me from anything. And everything seems to scream bondage to me -- remind me of BDSM, make me want to dominate an innocent bystander, make me predatory, cause me to get awful "crushes" on guys online. This is what the last 10 days teased me with: the elijah wood "duct tape" billboard (I nearly drove off the rode), a ton of penalty box minutes in pre-season, clips of the NY Rangers in "boot camp" blindfolded and helpless, clips of a pro baseball team "Rookie Initiation" with grown men dressed in full femme gear in public, a CSI rerun with an officer buried in clear plexiglass coffin, and more. All of these things lead me to think non stop about domination, humiliation, making a man suffer to get me wet and an insatiable desire to express my urges. October always seems to be the month for me! I was digging up some writing and found something from 1996 - Nine years ago - posted on the net: Akasha 1996: Every year around this time I get a little weird. Maybe more aggressive (if I can get any more aggressive), more passionate, more attracted to the darker things. October has always been my favorite month - something about the Fall (whether or not you can call it Fall in Southern California is debatable) and winter approaching puts me into a wonderful, sinister state of mind. It all fits in quite nicely, it being Monday night, the night I stalk, and midnight tonight being the first day of October. I pulled out one of my old journals, back when I used to document what I considered my weird feelings to "do" things to the guys I dated. Nothing sexual in this, but it shows, even back then, where my interests were. ******** From my journal, October 1, when I was 19: Afterward we went to his house and I attacked him pretty ruthlessly. We really didn't do anything "sexual", but it was intense. I think deep down inside I was taking out some anger on him. Of course I would have stopped if he'd seriously asked me to - I mean I apologize before, during and after when I act this way. I had him on the floor and was sitting/laying on him, my hands in his hair (he'd gone into the bathroom and gotten it wet for me), nails down his back. Then I pulled his head back and dug my teeth into his neck. Of course I didn't draw blood or anything. It wasn't the act in itself, it was the relentlessness, the not letting up. What it did to him makes me crazy. To actually have a dramatic effect on him in any way. To make him clench his fists in the carpet, dig his fingers into my palm. Yeah, yeah. I really did put my hand over his mouth this time, for a longer period of time, to muffle the sounds he was making. He didn't pull away, he didn't turn his head. He could have easily slipped out from me but he didn't. He sat there and took it, even though at times it made him as much as let out a muffled whimper or protest. At times it was so intense I was convinced he was acting, playing it up for me. But, that's so unlike him! I still don't know. I will never know if the way he resisted in that "Stop but don't stop" way was for me. One time, I said "Will you hold your breath for me?" He said, "No." "Please, come on." "No." "It's so easy. Do it, do it for me, please." He looked at me with that "but why??" expression. I knew he was about to oblige. I said, "For a long time, Craig. Do it right. Put effort into it." And he closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath. I took his hand and kissed his fingers. He made a fist. I leaned down and whispered, "You concentrating?" He nodded, his eyes still closed, a bit tighter. And yes, when a couple minutes had passed I could tell he was ready to take a breath, but he held it. He looked a bit strained, concentrated harder. Then a few seconds later he grabbed hold of the leg of the desk. Finally he gasped for a breath, intensely this time. Like he needed it desperately. Serious, intense. And I kissed him hard right then. He tried to turn because he was catching his breath but I didn't let him. I let him pant into my mouth while I held him by the chin. What a night. After all of this was over, he looked at me with his hand on his neck, flinching. "What is it with you tonight?" he asked. "October," I told him. "October does this to me." "You almost showed me the line," he said. I'm still in awe. **** What pushes your buttons? Akasha

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 10:35:37 AM)
Well, everything you have said so far does it for me [;)] I loved your website for that reason. We have a lot of similar ideas and interests. The idea of having someone helpless in front of me while I tease and "torture" him has been something that has been in my head for as long as I can remember. Knowing he gets off on it makes it even better. Be well, Julie

IronBear -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 12:08:31 PM)
In a word .... WOW... I learn something every day.

CalliopePurple -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 12:14:14 PM)
Okay, now I want to have fun with knives and a willing victim. I dunno if it's the time of year or what, but I've felt very predatory as well the past few days. That little breathplay bit you described is putting wonderful images in my brain...I need to wander off for a bit now.

MistressXD -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 1:17:08 PM)
Hey! This is my favorite time of the year for domination, as well. Of course, the changing leaves and the newly chilly weather also make me want to simmer things all day in large pots. I'm pretty sure those aren't related desires. XD

Nuke718 -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 4:07:35 PM)
October, I get almost scared as it approaches. I dont know if its the change in weather, the lighting changes, or what but... even before I learned about kink October has always worked me over. When I admitted once, to a Navy roomate, that I was always horny in October he rleated it (in his scifi geek way) to Spock in Star Trek. Insterad of every 7 years he said I had Pon Far (or however you say/spell it) every 12 months. Still use the term today LoL. Come October I am more likely to get in trouble at work for violating the Code of Conduct. I am checking out employees, Im more likely to say something "inaprorpiate" LoL, scres the crap outa me. On the other hand, it feeds me confidence, and overcomes the shyness from boyhood that still clings to me at times. I find it easier to talk to women, and make connections, especially with regards to BDsM. This time of year I think I could talk a Novice nun outa her habit and into nipple clamps. And when I can't find a willing partner, I just about wear myself raw masturbating, cuz EVERYTHING turns me on. Likw Akasha, I loooove your OP but I am gonna need a shower after I send this response LoL. N }:-

happypervert -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 4:23:32 PM)
I don't think it is just you; just before I read this I was thinking there is something about this time of year that makes me kinda crazy. And though some if it can be expressed in animal passions as you described, there can be other ways as well. For example, I'm thinking it may somehow be related to all that fun imagery we have for my favorite holiday -- Halloween.

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 5:17:34 PM)
It's just because My birthday is in October. My aura reaches out to all of you! weg I love October...but then I also love September and February!

Nuke718 -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 7:39:08 PM)
So Dusty, NOW I know who to blame! Just tell me how to make it thru LoL. Or how to find somebody also afflicted so that we can minister to each other!!! N }:-

Detmastered -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 7:51:09 PM)
Mating Season mammals in NA mate in the fall and bare their young in the spring. If your body desides your not pregant yet it pushes harder to hurry before its winter. It is all biological, all in your head, it's the animal in you coming out.

CalliopePurple -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/2/2005 9:01:26 PM)
Simple biological possibilites take all the fun out of it. It's more entertaining to talk about how much we'd like to find someone and have all kinds of fun with him/her.

Detmastered -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/3/2005 3:43:20 AM)
Just because the drive is biological doesn't mean you can't use it to your advantage, the whole world north of the equator is in the same boat being driven to reproduce before winter. Use that information October comes every year. As in all things it goes back to I learned everything I know from cartoons and G I Joe says. Knowing is half the battle. A tip to file away that can also be used would be this little fact. The earth goes past asteroid belt and dust twice a year. The result we get awesome falling star shows. I have on two occasions used that fact to get a lover to bet a night with no limits if we saw a falling star. Know it learn it use it they come in Aug and January.

lonewolf05 -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/4/2005 10:16:11 AM)
the wane-ing october moon, glowing orange in the evening sky calls the wolf, out to roam and hunt, h o w l s at the moon, waiting to see if there are any other wolves out hunting....sniffing through the autumn leaves, nipping at fallen acorns on the ground,.. and he goes off, into the night,...not to be seen again, until early first light, when he lays on the front porch, tired from the night's run. woofie,.. lays his head on his paws, and sleeps a restful puppy sleep,..tail wagging, eyes, nose, ears and paws twitching as he slumbers, in that R.E.M. sleep......

thetammyjo -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/4/2005 10:23:58 AM)
Perhaps I'm odd then. My desire for domination and sadism is pretty consistant and year round. It seems most effected by my general health and mundane stuff in my life than anything else. Might it also relate to having a 24/7 live-in partner? He's there, we're here, there's everyday life to deal with and no real desire or need to go looking. I mean, I'm always looking for more but I don't need more.

Saint -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/4/2005 4:33:06 PM)
I know that around Halloween time, I begin to feel a certain energy in the air. My hands clench and flex, I want to growl, my eyes get penetrating, etc.etc. The funny part is, Im not sure exactly what I want when that happens. lol I also get that way a lot if Im outside at night and its a full moon. Just certain times of the year or month. Wierd. Anyways, I can relate somewhat AAkasha. I may not have the same sexual intensity you seem to have, but I can understand the invigoration you feel.

Kindred2Evil -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/4/2005 6:26:11 PM)
AAkasha, you put it into words much better than I ever could! Being Wiccan, I feel the changes in the air, Summer's spine has been broken, the wind tastes and feels different, the stars are brighter, the moon clearer. It's like a primal need to wrest control from everyone and everything around me. Spells are stronger this time of year and my libido goes through the roof. Welcome the new year! We try to go to Baton Rouge for their Halloween party, and I've noticed that this time of year brings this out in so many other people. The scenes are fiercer, more intense than any other time. Blood seems to get spilled more often at this party as well LOL! I think it's the energy, it reaches out to others of like mind, the ones that are sensetive to it and it just wraps you up in it. It's this time of the year I miss having my own the most.

subkitten32 -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/5/2005 6:16:09 AM)
There is something about the Fall for me,the harvest, Halloween, the Pagan New Year. I have more energy, more sex drive, more creativity. My Birthday is November 15th, so I always just figured fall was my time, but reading this thread and seeing the others that feel the same (and the apparent biological imperative) makes me smile and know that I am not alone in this. To the OP, very well written! kitten

JustaTop -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/5/2005 10:12:55 AM)
Hmm,I must be shallow. The "hunger" thing in me seems to die off about fifteen seconds after I masturbate. Gotta love being male sometimes-makes controllng those wierd urges SO much easier![8D]

sub4mistressnsir -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/5/2005 8:05:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lonewolf05 the wane-ing october moon, glowing orange in the evening sky calls the wolf, out to roam and hunt, h o w l s at the moon, waiting to see if there are any other wolves out hunting....sniffing through the autumn leaves, nipping at fallen acorns on the ground,.. and he goes off, into the night,...not to be seen again, until early first light, when he lays on the front porch, tired from the night's run. woofie,.. lays his head on his paws, and sleeps a restful puppy sleep,..tail wagging, eyes, nose, ears and paws twitching as he slumbers, in that R.E.M. sleep...... Puuuurrrrrsssssssss.... at Wolf... All Hallows Eve is coming... that explains it all.. ~sub

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: October (The Femdom Hunger) (10/5/2005 11:30:25 PM)
Exactly! I may be a sub, but my latent dark and sometimes aggressive nature peaks in full force for the month proceeding Halloween, coming to full fruition the night of. There's a sparkle to October, a tangible magic in the air, a sense of dark enchantment brought to reality, that some velvety dark life is waiting for you just around the corner. I'm Wiccan, so I explain it to myself in those terms, but most people can feel it. If you can't, walk outside late at night on the full moon, breath in a deep breath and think of your darkest fantasy. That shiver, the one you get when you know that something ethereal has descended close and caressed you lightly, is all the proof you'll need. October is a month of awakening, a month of change a month of very real darkness. Harbinger of Samhain (Halloween), the ancient Celtic new year, it is a period where the veil between the world of the mundane and the world of the ancients is the thinnest. I can feel the life of October dance in my very bones. Now, truly, fantasy can be reality.

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