RE: Is any of this real?

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bipolarber -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/28/2008 9:47:26 PM)
The underlying problem isn't about "if this is real" or not. It's not even about playing out sexual fantasy vs. relationship building. No, the reason there's a disconnect between men wanting sex all the time, and women wanting something "real" is because each gender has it's own way of seeking out long term love: Men use sex to find love. Women use love to find sex. It's a subtle difference, but the emotional effect it can have when the two approaches are in conflict can be profound.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/28/2008 10:11:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I am seriously starting to wonder why so many people are anti- sex. There have been so many threads lately about DS being more than kink. About bdsm being beyond sex. The attitude is almost like if you are enjoying what you do, you must be doing it wrong. I like sex. I like bdsm. I like and engage in ds. I must be a freak. Kyst Had this come from my own lips I would not have agreed more. I like Sex I like Kink I like Love I like BDSM I like Control I want them ALL in my relationship and it whatever amounts I PERSONALLY want them in. Thank you Kyst that was WONDERFUL. Steel

Poetryinpain -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/28/2008 10:29:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I am seriously starting to wonder why so many people are anti- sex. There have been so many threads lately about DS being more than kink. About bdsm being beyond sex. The attitude is almost like if you are enjoying what you do, you must be doing it wrong. I like sex. I like bdsm. I like and engage in ds. I must be a freak. Kyst Had this come from my own lips I would not have agreed more. I like Sex I like Kink I like Love I like BDSM I like Control I want them ALL in my relationship and it whatever amounts I PERSONALLY want them in. Thank you Kyst that was WONDERFUL. Steel Amen and thank you to both of you! I'm a freak. I'm happy to be a freak. I love "doing" BDSM the way I do it. It's as real as it gets, and it has lots of sex in it. Love that sex! And love those beatings! Woo-hoo! I'm a freak!!! pip - who can get a bit freaky

ophelialocke -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/28/2008 11:10:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory quote: ORIGINAL: softness can I just be in this for the dishes and laundry? I mean the being tied up, beaten, humiliated and then fucked senseless and left sobbing in a heap is hot and all but nothing beats startching shirts returns quietly to her romance novel...The Cowboy and The Nursery Teacher" Steve is about to tell Carla all about his mispent youth As he kicked open the door and strode into the farmhouse, he couldn't help but notice how suddenly out of place he was. Standing there, stinking, sweaty, the smell and lather of horse still on him, his rowells cutting into the soft pine floor, he saw that the small house was neat as a pin. And there, on the other side of the single room that served as both kitchen and dining room, stood that woman. He'd ridden three hundred miles across stinking scrub desert and deep into the hot plains seeking her. As he walked across the room towards her, to slap some sense into her, finally.... she rose up from her ironing board, and said simply. "Once you're done with me Steve, do you like light starch or heavy?" Oh you guys you have been reading my journals. tsk.

Leatherist -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/28/2008 11:45:00 PM)
Most are really just role playing. I guess life in general must be terribly boring.

Willowmoon -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/28/2008 11:45:35 PM)
I don't actaully like sex, I don't get what the big deal about it is, yeah its fun but its not the be all and end all of my life and its far from the reason I am a slave. This lifestlye is real to us we live it 24/7 365 days a year. I am his slave whether I am at uni, studying at home, doing the housework or making his lunch. Its real because he is Master and he is in charge, its real because I know that at any time he can give me an order and I will do it. Its real because its our life not just some game or fantasy that we are playing out. Hell if it was fantasy we would never fight, never have to worry about money or housework or what we are going to eat tonight.

GoddessTeaze -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 12:30:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MidOhioDomme I've spent a lot of years exploring the D/s world, learning what it's all about. But I've come to the conclusion that most in it are living out their fantasies and, as such, are disassociating from the reality of life. Soooooooo many of the subs I meet are on this site as an outlet to their desire for sex sex sex and the kinkier the better. How very sad I find this as I believe the D/s lifestyle can be very real and can coexist with the reality of life. It would please me beyond anything to find a man who stands proud of himself in both his vanilla world and his D/s world. I so can relate to what you're saying. If one seeks a sub online for in real life, the jungle is hard, and the wankers come from all over, and the promises are enormous. Chasing A fantasy, I often wondered if I was doing the same. But patience help, because there are pearls online, who are genuine, and genuine seeking a Real Dominant. I wish you luck on your path. Warm Greetingz GoddezzT`

GoddessTeaze -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 12:38:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bipolarber The underlying problem isn't about "if this is real" or not. It's not even about playing out sexual fantasy vs. relationship building. No, the reason there's a disconnect between men wanting sex all the time, and women wanting something "real" is because each gender has it's own way of seeking out long term love: Men use sex to find love. Women use love to find sex. It's a subtle difference, but the emotional effect it can have when the two approaches are in conflict can be profound. And loads of men use sex to just sex sex sex... and get off. And loads think bdsm is a quick fix for them. I've spoken to more then enough to know this. And yes even woman are like that. They r just here for a quick fix. And yes you made a wise comment about how sexuality is different for each sexe. That makes it so hard to find the right one for you. I wish you a lovely day. Warm Greetingz GoddezzT`

Indemnis -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 1:35:31 AM)
Fast reply, and I also only read the OP, feeling inclined to reply... It's not always about simply being a slave. For some it is kink... I for one will readily admit to being a 'bedroom' submissive. I am up front about that, and if a potential Dominant dislikes this or doesn't agree, then he/she should probably move on, rather than tell me I am in the wrong for not being the 'correct' type of submissive. (I have gotten this quite a bit, from people who were quite rude, telling me I wasn't a real slave, so on and so forth, that I needed to learn my place... when I never claimed to be a slave! end rant) People want what they want. Who are you to say it's bad or good? Is it so wrong to enjoy only, or mostly, the sexual side of BDSM? It is in fact what a great part of it is... if some of us happened to have BDSM related kinkiness or fantasies... so what? It sounds to me like you're just frustrated because you haven't found what you're seeking yet. Don't get discouraged. You will. :) In the meantime, realise that just because you feel a certian way doesn't mean others should not want what they want. I do honestly hope you find what you seek! I just felt the need to put my 2 cents in, pitch my opinion. Hope no offense was taken, as none was intended.

Hippiekinkster -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 1:46:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Most are really just role playing. I guess life in general must be terribly boring. I agree. It's like "Star Trek" for pervy head cases, frequently. You know, some slob puts on some Vulcan ears and walks around pretending he's Sarek. Eventually he'll find some silly little twat who buys into his idiocy because she's as lonely as he is. They get it on and, henceforth, he walks around with pointy prostheses and she spends half of her time on a pointy-ear board proclaiming his pointy-eared Masterfullness. It gets even better. A sub-cult adopts "I, Mudd" as a template for pointy-eared fucking. Oh, never mind, I'll get too carried away if I keep going.

MissMagnolia -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 1:48:39 AM)
I know what the OP is saying. I get so fucking sick of emails from males who call themselves slave, but are really just after kinky sex. BDSM is about lots of things, kinky sex only being one part of it. Personally, I don't look at BDSM as a sexual thing either, which doesn't mean that I don't love sex. To those of you who are really into the sex aspect, especially Miss Lips, I can only say this................ya just pack of tarts (who I adore!!!).[:D]

petpete -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 2:11:41 AM)
Hey Hippie, under scrutiny again?? Better rephrase Your next response the guys upstairs have the tap on ya... Anyway back to the topic, isn't life a mystery as it is?? Here we are talking about things that an outsider would think that we are crazy demented and psychos... Or are we?? What is real?? The idea we want to live? There are so many of us for some strange reason they want to indulge in it, but what is it that gives us the drive to indulge in it?? Isn't it our sexuality? So even tho' we don't want to involve sexuality there is a strange again urge that pushes us to indulge in it... Its like wanting to get wet without touching the water or getting drunk without drinking or by just indulging of watching the bottle the color of the spirit the contours of the bottle... (#@*^ this, i'm hitting the bottle)

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 4:25:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory quote: ORIGINAL: softness can I just be in this for the dishes and laundry? I mean the being tied up, beaten, humiliated and then fucked senseless and left sobbing in a heap is hot and all but nothing beats startching shirts returns quietly to her romance novel...The Cowboy and The Nursery Teacher" Steve is about to tell Carla all about his mispent youth As he kicked open the door and strode into the farmhouse, he couldn't help but notice how suddenly out of place he was. Standing there, stinking, sweaty, the smell and lather of horse still on him, his rowells cutting into the soft pine floor, he saw that the small house was neat as a pin. And there, on the other side of the single room that served as both kitchen and dining room, stood that woman. He'd ridden three hundred miles across stinking scrub desert and deep into the hot plains seeking her. As he walked across the room towards her, to slap some sense into her, finally.... she rose up from her ironing board, and said simply. "Once you're done with me Steve, do you like light starch or heavy?" Dont forget to stabalize the ironing board before using it. they can be so flimsy at times.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 4:33:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia I know what the OP is saying. I get so fucking sick of emails from males who call themselves slave, but are really just after kinky sex. BDSM is about lots of things, kinky sex only being one part of it. Personally, I don't look at BDSM as a sexual thing either, which doesn't mean that I don't love sex. To those of you who are really into the sex aspect, especially Miss Lips, I can only say this................ya just pack of tarts (who I adore!!!).[:D] You know Devine Miss M? Perhaps its cause you only seek male service subs or because you're a challenge. I am a sub to Dominant men......Does anyone else here think it would be Oh sooo satisfying to spank this ladies ass and pull her hair and see the submission in her eyes???? Ok for some maybe Latigress too...[8D]

Madame4a -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 4:37:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bipolarber The underlying problem isn't about "if this is real" or not. It's not even about playing out sexual fantasy vs. relationship building. No, the reason there's a disconnect between men wanting sex all the time, and women wanting something "real" is because each gender has it's own way of seeking out long term love: Men use sex to find love. Women use love to find sex. It's a subtle difference, but the emotional effect it can have when the two approaches are in conflict can be profound. Your thoughts mirror mine... the other night I was talking to a friend and said... women fall in love and then have sex men have sex and then fall in love... of course nothing is that simple, but I think what you've said and what I've said are very true...

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 5:43:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Madame4a quote: ORIGINAL: bipolarber The underlying problem isn't about "if this is real" or not. It's not even about playing out sexual fantasy vs. relationship building. No, the reason there's a disconnect between men wanting sex all the time, and women wanting something "real" is because each gender has it's own way of seeking out long term love: Men use sex to find love. Women use love to find sex. It's a subtle difference, but the emotional effect it can have when the two approaches are in conflict can be profound. Your thoughts mirror mine... the other night I was talking to a friend and said... women fall in love and then have sex men have sex and then fall in love... of course nothing is that simple, but I think what you've said and what I've said are very true... I tend to disagree with this, to a point. I think women have sex but call it love. They equate the 2. I dont wait til I fall in love to have sex. I do have sex and confuse the feelings with love.

StormsSlave -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 6:00:23 AM)
I would like to join the ranks of those fine people who openly love sex. What the hell is wrong with sex?!?! Hi, my name is Sondra, and I am a sexual deviant. It's been about 18 hours since my last fix, and I intend to look into my next fix in, oh, 2, maybe 3 hours, depending on how long it takes at the DMV. Is our D/s 24/7? Hell, I don't know. We get up and go to work and pay our bills and deal with the bastard government assholes and get on with life. Sometimes he takes the lead, sometimes I do. Sometimes he bosses me, sometimes I boss him, depending on who is best at or knows the most about what we are doing. There are some things he does for me that are submissive in nature, and there are things I do for him that are Domme in nature, and none of it has to do with the sex. We are in a RELATIONSHIP 24/7, whether we are in the bedroom or not. The most important thing is that we are insanely in love with each other 24/7, regardless of who is dominating who. Is it real? More real than anything I've ever had in my life. I am amazed over and over again with the amazing amount of love and tenderness this man poors out on me, and I am only just now learning how I might please him as well. Sure, some people are just living in their fantasies, but you find that everywhere, bdsm or not.

hejira92 -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 6:31:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StormsSlave Is it real? More real than anything I've ever had in my life. I am amazed over and over again with the amazing amount of love and tenderness this man poors out on me, and I am only just now learning how I might please him as well. Sure, some people are just living in their fantasies, but you find that everywhere, bdsm or not. This is beautiful. Count me in with the sex fiends! Yes, I admit to having a real life, and a real 24/7 D/s relationship. Jobs, kids, bands, gigs, bills, cars, etc, etc. But, no matter what's going on, would I rather be having sex? And hot, sweaty, hurty, rough BDSM sex? YOU BETCHA!!!

MontrealPhoenix -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 6:50:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MidOhioDomme I've spent a lot of years exploring the D/s world, learning what it's all about. But I've come to the conclusion that most in it are living out their fantasies and, as such, are disassociating from the reality of life. Soooooooo many of the subs I meet are on this site as an outlet to their desire for sex sex sex and the kinkier the better. How very sad I find this as I believe the D/s lifestyle can be very real and can coexist with the reality of life. It would please me beyond anything to find a man who stands proud of himself in both his vanilla world and his D/s world. I can't speak for the other subs/slaves, male or female, but personally D/s has very little - nothing to do with sex and everything to do with the desire, indeed sometimes the craving, to submit to a dom. For me it's very much real and has nothing to do with fantasy. I really hope you find who you're looking for, i believe he's out there. Phoenix

DesFIP -> RE: Is any of this real? (3/29/2008 7:43:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory quote: ORIGINAL: softness can I just be in this for the dishes and laundry? I mean the being tied up, beaten, humiliated and then fucked senseless and left sobbing in a heap is hot and all but nothing beats startching shirts returns quietly to her romance novel...The Cowboy and The Nursery Teacher" Steve is about to tell Carla all about his mispent youth As he kicked open the door and strode into the farmhouse, he couldn't help but notice how suddenly out of place he was. Standing there, stinking, sweaty, the smell and lather of horse still on him, his rowells cutting into the soft pine floor, he saw that the small house was neat as a pin. And there, on the other side of the single room that served as both kitchen and dining room, stood that woman. He'd ridden three hundred miles across stinking scrub desert and deep into the hot plains seeking her. As he walked across the room towards her, to slap some sense into her, finally.... she rose up from her ironing board, and said simply. "Once you're done with me Steve, do you like light starch or heavy?" "Points to sign on wall next to the door. Take the big spurs off before you walk around". And now back to cleaning horse tack. First show of the season in two weeks.

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