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Submissive Sadists? - 7/17/2004 12:42:42 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline 		Following a conversation I had recently with a Dominant... i thought I would open this statement to the board and would be interested in peoples thoughts.

The Dominant in question stated that in His opinon, there is no such thing as a submissive sadist and that ALL Dominants were by nature Sadistic. As a submissive myself, i do not feel I am in anyway masocistic, even if I may have participated in such. There may be times when pain adds a certain touch to a session (fulfilling a physical and mental need at that moment), but I would not think of myself as masocistic. However, I do have Sadistic cravings. On stating this I was told I would be 'topping from below' - ... either that or I was completely mixed up & more Domme.(If You knew me, this is soooo far from the truth...lol)

So my question is~ is it possible for a submissive to be sadist? I do understand that each Individual is different but I would really welcome peoples views.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...
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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/17/2004 12:52:23 PM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline 		Sadism runs on a different need than submission. You can be a sadistic submissive, a masochistic dominant, or whatever. There's a big difference between play and D/s, and the two don't always overlap.

I've been exploring my sadistic streak lately, which I find quite fun. To me, play is only a fun activity, and isn't part of my submission unless I'm involved with someone.

I'd say that person you were talking to may be a bit narrowminded, or maybe just hasn't mixed with a wide group of people.

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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/17/2004 12:53:24 PM   
SherriA


Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel
So my question is~ is it possible for a submissive to be sadist? I do understand that each Individual is different but I would really welcome peoples views.


Yep, it's very possible. I know people just like that. Like you said, we're all individuals, and we get to do wiitwd in whatever way works best for us and our partners. Anyone who professes to know the One True Way is so full of shit you should check his/her eyes to see if they're turning brown.

Imnsho, ymmv, yada yada yada

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-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/17/2004 2:26:43 PM   
angelthighhighs


Posts: 104
Joined: 5/29/2004
Status: offline 		BDSM is just just activities within the lifestyle so i don't see why a sub couldn't be sadistic without topping from the bottom. we have all different parts to our personalities blended together they form who we are.

they've talked about Dominants that have started out learning the sub side of the lifestyle first..in my opinion they're not really being submissive but just submitting to the actions. inside their soul they're still Dominant. so why can't it be the same for a sub? some Dominants wish their subs to Domme other subs. that doesn't make them Domme but mearly obeying their Master's wishes, if they happen to enjoy the actions...they makes it all the more fulfilling to all involved.




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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/17/2004 3:05:00 PM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline 		Hi Angel,

I don't call myself a submissive, but a slave. What I *do* always say is I am NOT a masochist,,, I hate pain, 'cause it hurts! When I started experimenting in the lifestyle, I started as a top, and am totally a sadist. So yeah, I do believe those who bottom, are submissive, or are slaves can be sadistic without being masochistic.. 'cause I am not the only one I know like me :)

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Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/17/2004 4:05:21 PM   
pixieunleashed


Posts: 105
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline 		yes it is possible for sadistic submissves/slaves just as it is possible for masochistic Dominants/Masters....What separates the actions from the submissive/Dominant perspectives it the place you are comming from when you are doing it.

If you are a sub, and you are hurting someone cause they asked you to (and you enjoy it) you are essentially bottoming to the desires of that person regardless of what it looks like to outside viewers.

If you are a Dominant, and happen to be a foot fettish person. If you worship your sub's feet cause YOU WANT TO the action takes on a Dominant perspective.

I have had this happen at a play party, where my Master was involved with another sub's feet, and a fellow submissive came up to me and asked me when my Master turned foot slave, and had to explain this perspective to her. I was not embarrassed by his actions in the slightest, and never once questioned his Dominance because of it. He was doing it because he WANTED to, and she submitted herself to his whim for that time.

Anyway, not sure why I feel the need to post personal situations here, but ya'll get it as it comes out of my mind......

thanks for reading this, have a great day,

pixie

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**please note that I realize that I am just as full of crap as everybody else, feel free to remind me anytime**

If you understand it.......you've missed the point.


[image]http://img33.exs.cx/img33/2424/pixieunleashed-2.jpg[/image]

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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/19/2004 3:58:20 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pixieunleashed

yes it is possible for sadistic submissves/slaves just as it is possible for masochistic Dominants/Masters....What separates the actions from the submissive/Dominant perspectives it the place you are comming from when you are doing it.


Agreed pixie.

I am most definitely not a submissive. I have experienced a handful of moments but that is not what I am out for. However, I do have a strong masochistic side. In my case, and not necessarily everyone else's, I believe it comes with my sadistic side, which is also very intense.

I’ve met the flip side of me as well. Subs with a high masochistic side and a sadistic mind, which they either manifested by assisting their Dom/me in a scene with another submissive, or by inflicting pain on themselves for pleasure, in which case I believe this takes both facets of the algolagniac mind.

When I bottom, which should not be confused with submitting, I retain a high amount of control. It doesn’t happen often, but now and then I feel a need.

I know for a fact that not all subs are masochistic and not all Dominants are sadistic. Some are purely D/s without the pain games. I also know that people express their masochism and sadism in various ways. For me, it always is done with respect and a high amount of sensuality.

Hoping my input was helpful,

- LA

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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/19/2004 5:57:16 AM   
tanna


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel


The Dominant in question stated that in His opinon, there is no such thing as a submissive sadist and that ALL Dominants were by nature Sadistic.

So my question is~ is it possible for a submissive to be sadist? I do understand that each Individual is different but I would really welcome peoples views.



The Dominant in question is entitled to HIS opinion, but the rest of us might like to find him full of crap for thinking so narrowmindedly.

There is no 'One Size Fit's All' here.. I've met both masochistic Dominants, and sadistic submissives.. They usually call themselves Switch and enjoy playing both sides equally.

tanna

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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/19/2004 6:36:43 AM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tanna

The Dominant in question is entitled to HIS opinion, but the rest of us might like to find him full of crap for thinking so narrowmindedly.

There is no 'One Size Fit's All' here.. I've met both masochistic Dominants, and sadistic submissives.. They usually call themselves Switch and enjoy playing both sides equally.

tanna


Tanna-
I agree. I am a **selectively** submissive, but have sadistic fantasies that I would like to act out one day. I am not a masochist. I don't enjoy pain because, as someone posted above, it hurts!! I am much more into the psychosexual aspects of D/s, which could classify me as a masochist, but that's not how I percieve myself.
As Always
Berlin

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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/19/2004 3:08:07 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tanna
There is no 'One Size Fit's All' here.. I've met both masochistic Dominants, and sadistic submissives.. They usually call themselves Switch and enjoy playing both sides equally.
tanna


I agree with you that we should all have our own opinions and that here is no 'One Size Fit's All' here..

Which is why I tell you that as a Dominant with some mascochistic tendancies, I do not call myself a switch.

Complicated, huh?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/19/2004 3:23:06 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Angel agrees Lady Angelika... as a 'submissive' with sadistic tendancies, I would not consider myself 'Switch'... I have no desire to Top - There is not one part of me that would feel comfortable in topping anyone, unless it was on a direct request from the One I was submitting to. It just isnt in me and is not who I am. I am submissive, and above all I understand that I have to be true to myself... not to do so would be both direspectful to the Dom/Top I submit to, and myself.(IMO)

Thank You for taking the time to read this thread, Angel has found the responses both helpful and interesting.

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/19/2004 7:28:49 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
I am a Sadist.
I am a Alpha Dominant

When I Dominate it is not
always with Sadistic practices
in mind. When I practice My
Pleasures it is not always with
Dominance in mind.
I have two slaves whom are
sadists and We practice Our
pleasures together on masocists.
One of My Belovids passed was a
Masocist. He was also a Dominant.
Many Sadists and Masocists have
nothing to do with BD or Ds and
only practice the SM side of The
Alternates just as many Tops and
bottoms, Dom/mes and subs do
not practice SM or even B for that
matter. I know personally many
Dr.s whom are not of the Lifestyle
and yet are very much Sadists.
There are many diverse places
and things that makes up Alternate
Lifestyles and Living and They run
the gammit from the soft left to the
extream right and every thing inbetween.
That is why regardless of what sumones
kinks are no matter how soft or hard or
extream or different from Our kink We All
should be respected for Our Differances
and Respected and Enjoyed for such Oddities.





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RE: Submissive Sadists? - 7/19/2004 10:29:23 PM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Quick answer...Yep.

My slave is sadistic as all hell. We call her, "Subdistic".

She is still a slave...all the way to her very core. She is a powerslave, power bottom...call it what you will. I dont think of her as a switch, believe it or not. There's just something different about it.

As far as Dominants being sadistic by nature... I won't open that can of worms for awhile.

As far as you topping from the bottom? Not really. Are you coercing the dominant in an effort to beat him?

Completely mixed up and more Domme? Nah. SOunds like an answer quoted from someone who has gotten awfully wrapped up in their labels.

Do what works for you.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

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