No strings attached domination

No strings attached domination (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

AAkasha -> No strings attached domination (3/29/2008 11:42:52 AM)
Subs, when a femdom says she wants 'no strings attached' kink, what does that mean to you? (I am not talking about 'no strings service' - I am talking about bdsm - bottoming, etc.) Is it unattractive because you feel like you will feel emotionally empty? Is it attractive because it's a chance to get some experience without seeking a serious relationship? If you are seeking more (a girlfriend or long term relationship) do you shy away from this kind of a situation -- or, do you take advantage of it, since you are not involved yet? Is the femdom "booty call" -- so to speak -- attractive on some level as the sub, or do you feel like a piece of meat to be used? Or, do you find that kind of hot? Have any subs been in a relationship where they were just that -- a booty call basically, a no-strings kinky relationship, where she'd call you up and ask to hook up, but never wanted to be your girlfriend? How do you handle jeaslousy if there are other men she sees the same way? Is it hot to be one of many, does that appeal on some level? Akasha

Shawn1066 -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/29/2008 11:54:34 AM)
I would absolutely hate it. I cannot submit to anyone without there being an emotional connection. Luckily, my Owner and I have had one from the very beginning. DV's Fox

darchChylde -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/29/2008 12:12:49 PM)
i've had my slutty period where i went to the sleasiest public dungeon in the world; it's in SOMA, San Francisco and i'm sure others could give you the name. There, i used to go for NSA beatings and bondage (one of which led to a scenario which scared me away from all bdsm or Ds activities for 5 years); but at the time, i also was looking for NSA in vanilla 'relationships'. i was a major commitophobe at the time, but now i couldn't find it appealing; even were i to be open to relationship-free play session, there would have to be friendship at the very least.

azropedntied -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/29/2008 12:14:20 PM)
I would agree with shawn , there has to be more for me that whip me tie me beat me make me write bad checks and seeeeeeee ya .Though it may be flattering in some ways its not what i seek nor would i pursue it .

petdave -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/29/2008 12:23:48 PM)
i'm prone to mood swings as far as that goes... Sometimes, being a (spank dat) booty call would be just fine. Other times, i don't want anything if there's no attachment. However, the disposable/one of many aspect is something i'd have to try really hard to keep in the ol' denial bubble... That pushes very bad buttons for me.

khem -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/29/2008 12:46:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde i've had my slutty period where i went to the sleasiest public dungeon in the world; it's in SOMA, San Francisco and i'm sure others could give you the name. Hahaha, yeah, we've all been there. Although most don't admit to going more than once. It's funny, I don't even think of it as a dungeon - it's a sex club to me.

darchChylde -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/29/2008 12:51:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: khem quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde i've had my slutty period where i went to the sleasiest public dungeon in the world; it's in SOMA, San Francisco and i'm sure others could give you the name. Hahaha, yeah, we've all been there. Although most don't admit to going more than once. It's funny, I don't even think of it as a dungeon - it's a sex club to me. Well, i loved the spider-web and the cell on the ground floor. Once i went on an off day with one of the women who worked there. The boxing ring upstairs was really interesting.

khem -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/29/2008 12:59:51 PM)
Yeah, if they ever go out of business, I'm all over that Jail Cell!

subvarious -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/29/2008 2:24:32 PM)
i have when i first got into D/s and am glad for the experiences. After a while, though, i craved the deeper belonging and bonding. In the end it wore thin. Nor could i become truly submissive to either Domme because the relationships lacked the trust that needs to be developed between Domme and submissive.

Nikko1962 -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 8:31:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Subs, when a femdom says she wants 'no strings attached' kink, what does that mean to you? It means that she and I are looking for something different. That's fine, it's just nice to know up front. Is it unattractive because you feel like you will feel emotionally empty? For me, it's worse than unattractive. It's awful. I did the vanilla sex hookup with women in college. It was the same feeling after it was over. Pure emptiness filled with regret. Maybe even guilt if you want to reference your recent post on that subject. I find the irony more than amusing. Getting taken down by someone you love versus someone you don't know. One is purely physical, the other is magical. I'll go for the latter thankyou. Is it attractive because it's a chance to get some experience without seeking a serious relationship? Not for me. Here's what would be going through my head. Is she safe? Does she know what she's doing? Will she injure me? I was heavily flogged by someone who cared for me deeply. She was an expert. She made a little mistake and struck me too high on my neck and it wrapped. She was devasted that she might have really injured me. The hurt vs injure contradiction makes all the difference. NSA would mean to me that she didn't care if she injured me or not. Maybe on a general human level she would feel bad, but I would just be, as you put it, "another piece of meat". If you are seeking more (a girlfriend or long term relationship) do you shy away from this kind of a situation -- or, do you take advantage of it, since you are not involved yet? I definately would (and have) avoid. Is the femdom "booty call" -- so to speak -- attractive on some level as the sub, or do you feel like a piece of meat to be used? Or, do you find that kind of hot? Yes, please make me a piece of meet AFTER you connect with me emotionally. I find it amusing that my limits seem to fall away once the connection is made. Have any subs been in a relationship where they were just that -- a booty call basically, a no-strings kinky relationship, where she'd call you up and ask to hook up, but never wanted to be your girlfriend? How do you handle jeaslousy if there are other men she sees the same way? Is it hot to be one of many, does that appeal on some level? Akasha

ElanSubdued -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 12:10:28 PM)
Akasha, --- Subs, when a femdom says she wants --- 'no strings attached' kink, what does that --- mean to you? (I am not talking about 'no --- strings service' - I am talking about bdsm - --- bottoming, etc.) It means we're not operating on the same wavelength and it is probably an indicator that we are incompatible. --- Is it unattractive because you feel like you --- will feel emotionally empty? Yes. --- Is it attractive because it's a chance to --- get some experience without seeking a --- serious relationship? I can get experience from friends and this doesn't mean there are "no strings attacked". We are invested in one another, perhaps not as long-term, romantic partners, but most certainly as long-term friends. On a purely, booty-call, "bottom for me now" basis, I find this very unattractive. --- If you are seeking more (a girlfriend or --- long term relationship) do you shy away --- from this kind of a situation -- or, do you --- take advantage of it, since you are not --- involved yet? I generally shy away from casual play, although there have been a few exceptions in my life. --- Is the femdom "booty call" -- so to speak -- --- attractive on some level as the sub, or do you --- feel like a piece of meat to be used? Or, do --- you find that kind of hot? I feel like meat being used. The femdom "booty call" is a complete turn-off for me. I've never engaged in this and have no desire to. --- How do you handle jealousy if there are --- other men she sees the same way? Is it --- hot to be one of many, does that appeal --- on some level? I don't worry about jealousy from multiple partner arrangements because I'm monogamous. Is it hot to be one of many? In my relationships, no. It is close to a hard limit for me. At a play party, serving in a non-sexual way with others, to caring, dominant friends... yes, this has some appeal and it can be quite fun. Elan.

cloudboy -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 2:42:04 PM)
The dangling Aakasha carrot is always flashing in one form or another. I think she's already well aware of how men take the bait and can otherwise be seduced. The goal isn't so much to ask a question, but rather to rope'em in.

AAkasha -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 2:47:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy The dangling Aakasha carrot is always flashing in one form or another. I think she's already well aware of how men take the bait and can otherwise be seduced. The goal isn't so much to ask a question, but rather to rope'em in. And if that were the case, why does it make you so bitter? I am clear about what I seek and offer in return. The fact that I enjoy no-strings domination, where I will NOT accept gifts, money, subscriptions to my web site, phone domination, or any thing other than lust or attraction. In a world where most femdoms want money or a donation to even "consider" a submissive, I think the fact that a femdom won't accept a penny to be persuaded, and actually enjoys spending money on the subs instead (so there are no obligations) is a bit refreshing. I have a few boys I am treating this way now (they are in heaven) and am looking for more. But no cash will make me pick someone, nor will signing up for my web site, which I make very clear. No one has a problem with it but you. And any subs reading this who might be interested, please do contact me. Akasha

ElanSubdued -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 3:01:58 PM)
--- I can get experience from friends --- and this doesn't mean there are --- "no strings attacked". Oops. I meant to type: "I can get experience from friends and this doesn't mean there are "no strings attached". I prefer not to use the word "strings" because this has a manipulative connotation. Rather, if I choose to learn with someone it is because we have a mutual interest in sharing companionship (friendship or otherwise). Elan.

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 3:15:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy The goal isn't so much to ask a question, but rather to rope'em in. Uh oh! Somebody's cranky! I smell bitterness due to rejection... There's nothing quite as unattractive as a childish, petulant submissive.

AllforFun -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 3:28:41 PM)
My personal opinion....... Its awesome. pure BDSM, no emotions, no obligations, etc. This is definately an attractive arrangement especially in the begining before deciding if anything else is to be pursued. I can certainly appareciate this.

littlesarbonn -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 5:14:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shawn1066 I would absolutely hate it. I cannot submit to anyone without there being an emotional connection. Luckily, my Owner and I have had one from the very beginning. DV's Fox Personally, I don't actually see it as there being no emotional connection. Often, an emotional bond can exist for the time that the two are doing a session together. Then it severs until the next time they are together, or it may never attach again. On a personal level, I've never really explored a lot of transitory play, but that's just because it's hard enough finding someone for either no strings or lots of strings sometimes. And I don't tend to be searching all that hard anyway (the real world tends to get somewhat overwhelming all on its own). But I really don't think a "no strings attached" has to be seen as some type of booty call, or whatever term people are using for it. No strings relationships are quite often the types that submissives pay professionals to provide. For that hour or those hours they are together, there's a real emotional connection, and it can mean all the world during that time. Whether it translates to something beyond a session is another question. I think a lot of people fall into this black and white mentality when it comes to these types of relationships. I don't think it's really that clear, and when we try to compartmentalize it, we cheapen the experiences that weren't perfect, but may have been really, really good.

CoasttoCoast -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 6:17:25 PM)
I love low/no commitment relationships. I don't really do commitments, I do play dates. I'm new to bdsm(new to practising) and I'd hate to tie myself down, so to speak, so early in my experimental stage. That being said, I've yet to find a "playdate" that is willing to push as far as I'd like to be pushed. When I top, I am weary of pushing as hard as I know they want to be pushed. I think that kind of play usually requires more trust than you get from a casual hookup, and I'm finding myself wanting for it.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 6:32:55 PM)
I play casually, but I do not like to be objectified or made to feel like a disposable commodity. I would rather find someone that attracts me and develop a play-only relationship so that we can get to know each other and maximize our time together, instead of having an array of first-time-be-careful experiences.

hardbodysub -> RE: No strings attached domination (3/30/2008 9:07:29 PM)
I consider it an exciting prospect to be used in such a way - "a piece of meat", as you put it. One possible advantage is that a no-strings situation shouldn't create the pressure of high hopes and expectations. That could really help create a good atmosphere, and nobody need feel any guilt in taking it as a learning experience. And, although a deeper relationship might be more fulfilling, the odds of any one contact yielding such a gold mine aren't terribly high. A no-strings opportunity might be a good place to start.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

3.515625E-02