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RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 12:59:13 PM

domahpet

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

the cell phone thing-
my bad!
i dont know a single persons number
besides my mother.
not my kid, not my man, no bodys!

_____________________________

Zeedaddys
~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

(in reply to petitespitfire64)

Post #: 21

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 1:36:00 PM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domahpet

the cell phone thing-
my bad!
i dont know a single persons number
besides my mother.
not my kid, not my man, no bodys!

that is why they have an option to store them :P

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to domahpet)

Post #: 22

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 1:48:22 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I would say like any sort of slut, being one isn't an issue. It depends on WHY you find yourself being one, and getting into relationships which positively fulfill those desires for everyone.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 23

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 3:30:49 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

Needing and/or asking for reasonably consistent communication is not being an attention slut.

But he is having a relationship with you behind his wifes back, so consistency in anything isn't likely going to happen. Unless he is incapacitated, I would think even a brief response would be possible........ if he wanted to respond.

As it stands, he hasn't bothered, and the longer you allow him the luxury of ignoring you, odds are that he will pop up at some point with some incredible story as to why he wasn't able to communicate with you.

I know it's difficult to find someone you are compatible with, but do yourself a favor and find someone who is honest..... with you and with his partner (if he has one).

Best of luck!

(in reply to athomesub)

Post #: 24

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 5:46:26 PM

HerLord

Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deliena

I hope you get resolution to this one way or the other and wish you the best of luck. Some "Masters" really don't seem to understand the responsibility they have to their subs at all.... I honestly wonder what (if anything) goes through their minds!

Now now... How would YOUR master feel about you thinking he has no thoughts...

Also... Didn't I read somewhere that you recently "switched" from Domme/Sub to slave... (if I am wrong plz ignore) So I ask you, what were you thinking when you were alpha? (Domme/Sub= dominant sub... as in no other comes before this one and has rights OVER the others)

Also...OP Life happens. I think you have the right mindset and the actions you have taken are in keeping with my would be suggestion so good luck.

As for the guy... If this is the best he has to offer, is that enough for you?

Something I have been kicking around the back of my head for a while now...
Why do so many subs around here (and elswhere {the other elswheres}), always seem so unwilling to be assertive enough in thier own needs, to go after what it is they actually want, and instead seem so eager to take what they get? It seems to me that each of these types, would be far better subs/slaves/WTFevers if they would/could just be honest with themselves about what they are or are not willing to put up with. Then they would not need the edification of others to ellicit thier OWN ideals from thier OWN relationships. Just food for thought.

My copper spent.

_____________________________

"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

(in reply to Deliena)

Post #: 25

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 5:54:38 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: athomesub

I've recently been concerned with my Masters lack of communication. In the beginning of our relationship I heard from him regularly. He visited about once a week and in between there were emails and phone calls. We are both married so I think we understand that sometimes things come up. However, in the last 3 weeks the communication dropped significantly. I've heard from him approximately 2 maybe 3 times and one was a short text message. So I'm wondering--am I an "attention slut". Am I unrealistic in my wants for attention? In my defense I like the attention because it helps me maintain the connection/bond when we are apart. Too long ( and my definition of too long is a week) without communication and I start to draw back and distance emotionally--especially early in relationships. Yes I guess that is insecurity. I really would like opinions of what you all think is an "attention slut"

..... they make all these posts about health problems....and ignore any advice that might actually get them to be some part of useful society...my bad...am i hijacking?

----------------------------------------------------------
Ummm OP...i dunno...what do you think? i find that most people know the answers to these sorts of questions deep down inside..but are hoping to get enough answers from outside sources to keep us from dealing with either a shortcoming...or making a painful decision. Sounds to me like you're considering whether or not you made a wise choice in your Dom...your need for attention aside. Best of luck, whatever the outcome.

(in reply to athomesub)

Post #: 26

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 5:56:36 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

if he is avoiding your calls, i don't think it's becasue he is out shopping for your collar. sounds to me like something is up, all you can do is ask him.

Going to have to agree with this. Something is amiss.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to christine1)

Post #: 27

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 5:57:57 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

IMO, you are not an attention slut..
You do deserve an answer as to if your relationship is over. Do you know if he is able to communicate? That would be my first question if I had not heard from someone in that circumstance.

Just to give you a small idea about people that stop communicating. I go through stages where I cannot speak to people or see them. Usually I am so overwhelmed by the rest of my life that I cannot give the time or attention to a phone call. I will, however, send an email or IM or text message keeping the person aware that I am still interested but unable to move in any direction.

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to athomesub)

Post #: 28

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 5:59:03 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

thoughts...

Why do so many subs around here (and elswhere {the other elswheres}), always seem so unwilling to be assertive enough in thier own needs, to go after what it is they actually want, and instead seem so eager to take what they get? It seems to me that each of these types, would be far better subs/slaves/WTFevers if they would/could just be honest with themselves about what they are or are not willing to put up with. Then they would not need the edification of others to ellicit thier OWN ideals from thier OWN relationships. Just food for thought.

My copper spent.

I think you are right. People have to take responsibility for themselves whether they be dom, sub etc. It is your life , be involved in it.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to HerLord)

Post #: 29

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 6:09:31 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I would suggest that if you need constant attention. you might want to find someone else either single or openly in a relationship with you. More often than not, when someone is trying to hide a relationship, communication is going to suffer. As soon as he said he wanted to collar you, but his wife didnt know about the relationship, you should have realized there was going to be problems. You cant be significantly more of hislife if she doesnt know she has to give up part of his time.
Id say you take the lack of response to mean you are not his priority anymore. Cut your losses and involve yourself with people who do put you first.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to petitespitfire64)

Post #: 30

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 3/30/2008 6:14:34 PM

athomesub

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: Louisiana
Status: offline

Thanks everyone for your input. It's given me some clarity in thought.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 31

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 4/1/2008 2:20:33 PM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deliena

I hope you get resolution to this one way or the other and wish you the best of luck. Some "Masters" really don't seem to understand the responsibility they have to their subs at all.... I honestly wonder what (if anything) goes through their minds!

Now now... How would YOUR master feel about you thinking he has no thoughts...

Also... Didn't I read somewhere that you recently "switched" from Domme/Sub to slave... (if I am wrong plz ignore) So I ask you, what were you thinking when you were alpha? (Domme/Sub= dominant sub... as in no other comes before this one and has rights OVER the others)

OK I'll respond to these points:

Firstly is the sort of person who doesn't take care of their submissive/slave in my opinion should not call themself a Master (hence the ironic use of quotation marks around that term in the post I made).

Secondly, my Master expects me to think for myself, was beside me whilst I posted my comment, understood what I meant and agreed with me. So I can confidently say he would have mistakenly thought I meant He had no thoughts, just that some people don't.

Thirdly, I have always been a switch, but much like the fact that whilst I am bi-sexual when I am in a relationship I am monogamous, when in a BDSM relationship I tend to inhabit one space. In the relationship I am currently in I am sub and very, very happy. That isn't to say that at some point in the future I may not want to feed my inner Domme, but it would not be with my present Master (he does not switch) and I have no desire to look outside our relationship.

And finally when I was Alpha (to use the term you chose) I was thinking about the people I spent time with and ensured that I treated my subs in accordance with the way I when being sub wish to be treated. Perhaps this is a mindset unique to switches I wouldn't know or like to attempt to speak for other people.

(in reply to HerLord)

Post #: 32

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 4/1/2008 3:08:32 PM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

I just don't understand it.....other subjects are being discussed when everyone knows it's ALL...ABOUT...MEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Why aren't you talking about me? Why aren't you praising ME? Any other subject is a total waste of time..

Did i mention i'm a bit of an attention slut....

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to athomesub)

Post #: 33

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 4/1/2008 3:17:48 PM

softpjOS

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: athomesub

In answer to some of the above questions. My husbands know of the relationship--they have met and talked to one another. His wife does not know. And yes I have asked several times what is going on thru text messages and emails but have received no replies. I have called once but got no reply.

Your reply comes in his lack of response. Most likely his wife figured out she was married to a cheating worm and he's trying to get back into her good graces.

If you "need" constant contact/reassurance/attention.... don't fool around with a married man behind his wifes back. Simple enough eh?

(in reply to athomesub)

Post #: 34

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 4/1/2008 3:23:02 PM

ChemistryMaster1

Posts: 73
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespitfire64

Just my opinion...but if you want more attention than TWO men are able to give you.....

Could you elaborate on this one please.??

(in reply to petitespitfire64)

Post #: 35

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 4/1/2008 3:30:47 PM

ProfJoe

Posts: 75
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline

Yes, I think you're probably an attention slut.

That said, what's wrong with that?

I like sluts. If I don't want to give attention, that's my call (or not to call, lol, as the case may be).

I do have a suggestion: don't call. Don't write. Drop off the face of the earth. If he's still interested, he'll call.

"Why haven't you called?" he'll ask.

"You didn't reply," you'll say. "And I decided to spend the time thinking if it was important to me or not."

Let it go from there.

Good luck.

Prof. Joe

(in reply to ChemistryMaster1)

Post #: 36

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 4/1/2008 3:50:43 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

You say "slut" like it's a bad thing.....

Attention slut = My Dog.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to ProfJoe)

Post #: 37

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 4/1/2008 5:47:05 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one with this particular opinion. I'm certainly glad Joe was around.

I'm sorry if this isn't kind, since I do not know you personally, but from what I gather in your posts, I would have to say yes, you are a bit of an attention slut. I haven't read all of your posts, but the ones of late have seemed rather focused on the lack of attention you are receiving, and how obsessed you are with it. From an outside view, it appears to be dictating many of your thoughts and actions. This is true even in a case where you know you are dealing with a married man, who's wife isn't aware of you, so it would seem that common sense would tell you that there would be hills and valleys of his ability to keep communication open.

This situation is something that you chose. If you are going to continue in it, you might start giving some long and hard thought about what you can accept and what you can not. I wouldn't think that most attention sluts would thrive in this type of arrangement.

Edited for a double negative.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 4/1/2008 5:48:19 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 38

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 4/1/2008 6:11:21 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: athomesub

I've recently been concerned with my Masters lack of communication. In the beginning of our relationship I heard from him regularly. He visited about once a week and in between there were emails and phone calls. We are both married so I think we understand that sometimes things come up. However, in the last 3 weeks the communication dropped significantly. I've heard from him approximately 2 maybe 3 times and one was a short text message. So I'm wondering--am I an "attention slut". Am I unrealistic in my wants for attention? In my defense I like the attention because it helps me maintain the connection/bond when we are apart. Too long ( and my definition of too long is a week) without communication and I start to draw back and distance emotionally--especially early in relationships. Yes I guess that is insecurity. I really would like opinions of what you all think is an "attention slut"

I never trusted that bastard...his eyes are too close together.

(Sure sign of criminal intent I ever saw).

(in reply to athomesub)

Post #: 39

RE: Define "Attention Slut" - 4/1/2008 6:15:27 PM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: athomesub

I've recently been concerned with my Masters lack of communication. In the beginning of our relationship I heard from him regularly. He visited about once a week and in between there were emails and phone calls.

That sounds to me like a reasonable amount of communication and contact between significant others.

quote:

We are both married so I think we understand that sometimes things come up. However, in the last 3 weeks the communication dropped significantly. I've heard from him approximately 2 maybe 3 times and one was a short text message. So I'm wondering--am I an "attention slut".

I would not find that to be a reasonable amount of contact. This is based on what *I* would think is okay, but I don't think "slut" has much to do with it.

quote:

Am I unrealistic in my wants for attention?

There are two ways to look at that attention: attention paid to you and attention paid to the relationship you both are creating. In a way, you, him and the relationship between you are three separate entities. He could be attending to the relationship even when he is not obviously responding you. I doubt that is what is happening though.

quote:

In my defense I like the attention because it helps me maintain the connection/bond when we are apart. Too long ( and my definition of too long is a week) without communication and I start to draw back and distance emotionally--especially early in relationships. Yes I guess that is insecurity.

It sounds like wisdom to me.

< Message edited by TracyTaken -- 4/1/2008 6:16:11 PM >

(in reply to athomesub)

Post #: 40

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