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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 5:09:53 AM

Dnomyar

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Celeste. I can and have built a house and do fix cars. Fixed my computer plus done numerous other things. We do exist. Op I usualy have people approach me. Im sort of on the shy side. But I find that is sort of a plus for me.

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 9:24:26 AM

Poetryinpain

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My r/t vanilla friends find it hard to believe I can be shy. But when it comes to relationships, well, the old saying is "Once burned, twice shy." And fifty times burned?

For years I was apparently unlovable or unapproachable or something equally leprous. I was shy, and I was not being approached. When I grabbed my courage with both hands, opened my dry mouth (or its cyber equivalent), and actually said something to someone I was interested in, I would be shot down - sometimes in a very rude and cruel manner. That kind of taught me not to do the approaching.

When I first dived into BDSM I found myself in what's been called "sub frenzy," and when I first signed up with CM I had a full mailbox every day. I responded, got into messes, and finally shook off the frenzy and settled down into prowling the forums and reading what very interesting people have to say on a variety of topics.

I still don't approach, though, even though my mailbox is mostly empty now. I'm not "frantic" about finding that special someone. I figure it'll work out if it's supposed to. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the "company" of some very companionable folks.

pip

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 10:52:09 AM

madshysoul

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

quote:

ORIGINAL: madshysoul

The people I would be likely to approach myself would be those who obviously teach/mentor and have a skill I want to learn/experience.

So, if I understand you correctly, you are saying that if someone has something you want... you play nice till you get it? Then what? Treat them as you do those who don't have what you want? Just asking...

Nono, not like that. Though even that interpretation isn't all that bad in truth, since pretty much everyone I know I'd call a friend regardless of whether they 'have something I want'.

The distinction I was trying to make is that the only time I'm likely to be ...um.. "forward?" about asking to play with someone new to me is if I know they -enjoy- teaching. (Under the theory that then I know we're both enjoying it, as versus the slightly more predatory interpretation I think you were reading.) It's not a focus on 'You have something I want' but rather on 'I don't want to play unless I know we're both having fun.'

Does that make more sense?

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 10:56:29 AM

HerLord

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quote:

ORIGINAL: madshysoul

Nono, not like that. Though even that interpretation isn't all that bad in truth, since pretty much everyone I know I'd call a friend regardless of whether they 'have something I want'.

The distinction I was trying to make is that the only time I'm likely to be ...um.. "forward?" about asking to play with someone new to me is if I know they -enjoy- teaching. (Under the theory that then I know we're both enjoying it, as versus the slightly more predatory interpretation I think you were reading.) It's not a focus on 'You have something I want' but rather on 'I don't want to play unless I know we're both having fun.'

Does that make more sense?

THIS I get. It sounds much less... Predatory was the word you used, seems fitting enough. Thank you for taking the time to clear the air. (in my own head any way)

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 10:57:52 AM

LilMissHaven

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I have this complex where I'm always thinking I'm bothering people so I generally wait to be approached.

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 11:00:08 AM

Luciferica

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I usually let people find me, I'm happy with my life the way it is, so if someone wants to be a part of that life, I generally let them contact me

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 11:08:17 AM

mzbehavin

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I wait to be approached for the most part. If there is a question, or thought i have on their profiles, i do contact and ask. If someone shows interest in me, the chemistry is there, and i feel welcome to do so, then i have no problem approaching. xox

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 11:56:54 AM

WalterRego

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Always approach first. Partly because given the numbers, one needs to. Partly because although I'm a sub, I'm not passive or shy. And picky too.

But ...when approached by a Domme...shyness, excitement, humilty, eagerness, desire to please, like alternating flashing neon lights.

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 1:59:05 PM

jenara

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so far i've been approached and not made approaches, but that might change when i'm able to commit to more than friendship

tina

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 2:30:21 PM

solvr70

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i approach. but not in a D/s kind of way. more of a vanilla hello kind of way. then do my best to let things slip to let it be known that i have sub interests and then wait to see if there is any interest in that kind of way.

why, well i've been burned a couple of times by being to open about my sub interests. society's norms...can't live with 'em, tough to change 'em

mark

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RE: Approach-able? - 4/1/2008 1:58:51 AM

petpete

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i would rather wait to be approached. i wouldn't waste my time and others time for conducting them. Simply i find that many are just to stuck up noses and frankly i hate to feel subservient to someone that does not appreciate me, needs me or deserves me. Some of the Ladies they even call it a troll if you dare to message them. Anyways i have learned that its not worth approaching profiles that claim they are something that we don't even know who it is and have and not even show of who and what they are. i would appreciate friendships and whatever develops "let it be" as Paul McCartney sings..

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RE: Approach-able? - 4/1/2008 3:44:57 PM

simplycarla

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I am shy around new people so I wait to be approached.

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