RE: My Mental Health (Full Version)

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Kalista07 -> RE: My Mental Health (3/31/2008 4:25:41 PM)

*stands around trying to find where all the sane people went...* i'm all alone....



dollparts85 -> RE: My Mental Health (3/31/2008 4:27:22 PM)

yeah she was in the hospital but not treated...they got her stable after her OD and released her. She needs a psych hospital.



dollparts85 -> RE: My Mental Health (3/31/2008 4:29:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85

I didn't say anything that would harm her. She needs to go into a hospital where she can not hurt herself and get medication to treat her highs and lows. She's manic most of the time...and then crashes and tries to kill herself.


funny..................... i seem to recall someone else from these boards with similar behavior who adamentaly will not follow the doctor's orders...
hmm..
What a conundrum.




I'm stable. I'm not suicidal and haven't been in a very long time.



lovelylucy -> RE: My Mental Health (3/31/2008 4:42:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85

yeah she was in the hospital but not treated...they got her stable after her OD and released her. She needs a psych hospital.


True. Spent the day on drips for the paracetamol and other stuff with my head in a bucket. Saw a 'self-injury specialist' who referred me to the same team who turned up and said they'd refer me to the place I've already been referred (by the same team) to, so I went home.

I was in IP over new year and it was hideous...



ThundersCry -> RE: My Mental Health (3/31/2008 6:00:06 PM)

<whistles over at Kalista>
 
Right over here...
 
I am sane....kinda



KCherry -> RE: My Mental Health (3/31/2008 7:48:51 PM)

You should sit your friends/boyfriend down  and let them tell you how your behavior effects them and maybe that would give you some insight to change. When I was younger I was much like you, out of control emotions, I would cry at the drop of a hat and try and hurt myself and then my friends all set up an intervention and sat me down and basically explained that if I didn't change that they no longer wanted to be around me and watch me destroying myself.



MissAngelandsub -> RE: My Mental Health (4/1/2008 5:11:18 PM)

It sounds like bi-polar but could be a number of things. You should do as some have said and take your boyfriend with you, they see things you don't that is what me and my husband do when he goes to the mental health doctor and did when I went since we are both bi-polar...we don't always see what we do but we see what each other does and it helps to get an outside opinion. I have been in your shoes and I hope that you can get the help you need it is an uphill battle and you have to fight sometimes to get what you know you need. Most likely they will first classify you as depressed which might very well be the case. Just go and be honest and open up to them, they won't think you are crazy they have most likely heard very very worse and to get the right treatment you have to be honest. And just so you know it can take years for them to actually find the right diagnoses but many of the mental problems out there are being understood better and maybe you will know before too long first tho try to get some meds to help with your moods. Good luck!



DragonLadysFire -> RE: My Mental Health (4/2/2008 7:28:03 PM)

Sounds like Sever Bi-polar swings, they can come from a lot of things.  Get a good Psych evaluation and mental health doctor.  It's a long hard road but you can make it, and have a  happy fulfilling life.



MmistressBeth -> RE: My Mental Health (4/3/2008 2:20:54 PM)

Has anyone thought it could be hormonal problems? My daughter was so suicidal she was sectioned at 15 and it was the PMT hormone that swung the moods from deep depression to manic hyper and was in hospital for a while but is sorted out now and needs love and support.
Your doctors need to know the whole picture even if its calling them out mid 'crisis' .... let them help you. We all can see a nice girl trapped in unhappiness ~ there is a way out and you will reach the end of torment soon.



ThistleDown -> RE: My Mental Health (4/3/2008 8:03:33 PM)

First I want to say that I'm not a mental health provider of any kind so I might be wrong but these are the suggestions I found helpful when I went through a similar ordeal.  
You shouldn't feel bad or guilty about the self-injuring (SI) behavior. It's a coping mechanism, as inadequate as it is, that's what you're working with and that's what works for you right now in this situation so don't let anyone tell you it's inherently bad or evil or childish (all things I've heard). I am not saying that it's good either; it's just what you have right now. Without it, how do you think you'd be doing with that coping thing? So don't beat yourself up about it just be aware that the sooner you feel able to break away from that behavior the healthier it will be for you.

Try to ask yourself if it's absolutely necessary. If you think you might be able to tough it out with out the SI it's a good idea to try. It's ok to change your mind if you absolutely have to though.  You may want to try alternatives that feel painful but don't do as much damage like holding an ice cube in your hand until it melts all the way or snap a rubber band on your wrist. If it's the blood that helps, try writing on yourself with a red marker or dripping red food dye on your skin and try to pretend it's blood.

Also try to keep in mind while you're doing it that it can be dangerous. Maybe make yourself a little note card with directions on it for when you get to that place where you feel the need to SI. On that note card you could put little reminders like "this is helping me cope, I'll be ok once it's over" and "don't forget to use a clean/sterile razor/glass/whatever" or you could remind yourself to try other alternatives. You could make notes about other safety things like not cutting too deep or hitting too hard. (I would say a few shallow cuts are a safer bet than one or two really deep life-threatening cuts but that's just my logic, I could be wrong). KEEP that note card with you.
Also, maybe have your loved ones each write a short message to you on a note card or small pocket notebook so that you can read their words of love and encouragement when you're feeling that way. If you think it would help keep you safe it would be good to let them write down how it makes them feel to see you doing that. If you think reading how it hurts them would make your struggle harder, don't do that though. You could also include the reasons most important to YOU not to take your life or SI.

When you start feeling suicidal or you think you might get that way, call someone who will help you stay safe (not letting you go out in the street or up on a tall building). <-- that's for the times you actually have the time to do that of course. It's ok to call emergency personnel too, like police, ambulance, etc ... really anyone who can help reduce the danger.

Although it's tempting to believe you're making excuses (can come along with low self esteem often present in depression) remind yourself that you're not choosing to have these struggles and that you don't see everyone else having these struggles. It's ok to hope a doctor somewhere can help you work through this. It might help to come up with an encouraging/calming sentence or two you can memorize and use during these times for self-talk. It could be something like this "Yes, I am feeling this way and it is very uncomfortable and I do feel the need to do _______. But it will be ok in a short while so I'm going to just try to relax and cope the best I can until it passes".

One last thing, if you feel inclined, there are tons of SI support forums and websites online, so you may want to look into that. There might be resources for support groups in your area too.

Basically, the idea is to do what makes the situation better. If something isn't helping (like judging yourself on this matter) then let go of that and try something else.

my favorite line to say to people who asked about my SI marks was "I had unprotected sex with a porcupine"... you don't have to explain or answer to anyone you don't want to. When you go see a doctor about this, you may want to take a version of the following with you:
http://www.angelfire.com/bc3/secondchance/bor.html

it's a Bill of Rights for Those Who Self-Harm

~puppy

Edit: Sorry this is so long [:'(]
Oh and just ignore the part about american statistics, the important part is your rights



lovelylucy -> RE: My Mental Health (4/3/2008 10:47:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MmistressBeth

Has anyone thought it could be hormonal problems? My daughter was so suicidal she was sectioned at 15 and it was the PMT hormone that swung the moods from deep depression to manic hyper and was in hospital for a while but is sorted out now and needs love and support.
Your doctors need to know the whole picture even if its calling them out mid 'crisis' .... let them help you. We all can see a nice girl trapped in unhappiness ~ there is a way out and you will reach the end of torment soon.



It's been suggested, since things took a big turn for the worse when I hit puberty. The thing is it doesn't seem to have much of a pattern, and now I have hormonal contraceptive injections, so no normal cycles, but it's no different from when I was having periods or while I was pregnant. Worth investigating though. Maybe I just don't see the pattern.

ThistleDown ~ I can't thank you enough. You've given me a lot to think about.



MadameXTC -> RE: My Mental Health (4/6/2008 5:56:05 AM)

Well..... First of all I just want to say that when things like this happen the best thing to do is to surround yourself with people who support you positively. I am not sure how things are in the UK, but in the States when someone attempts suicide they are put in the hospital and treated for all sorts of things. Referred to counseling and then the counselor tries to find out what is going on mentally and emotionally with a person. The idea is to treat the whole person and help them sort out their thought process so maybe it won't happen again.  Those steps are not just an in and out hospital stay, and the person cannot sign themself out AMA *against medical advice* I am just giving my knowledge of what happened when someone I know went through trying to kill themselves and that is what happened to them. Every situation is different.If you are at the point of feeling so low when you are having the down cycle of your moods then you need to find a counselor to open up to and explain why you are doing what you are doing. Dont be scared if it seems to you that they will not understand, etc. Sometimes they do understand, sometimes they do not but they can refer back to others who can find out what is going on. I agree with the idea of making a journal, you can see what happened and reflect back to why you felt like you did. Maybe you need to change who you are around, maybe you just need to take a moment to do something that you love and relaxes you.  Sometimes stress can bring on so much that it can cause a breakdown of sorts. I am not a professional, but I feel that every person has a right to be happy. You just have to find what makes you happy and be okay with getting help to find that happiness. *hugs* Do not feel that you are alone there are so many out there who have experienced that same thing and hide it out of fear of people judging them for who they are. Good luck and if you want someone to talk to we are here. We may not be able to give you any answers but we can lend a listening ear.



MissAngelandsub -> RE: My Mental Health (4/6/2008 6:44:46 AM)

I would like to point out that some people with bi-polar do not show signs until they hit puberty....like I said before it might not be it but sounds a lot like it. Definately talk to a doctor...you need to see if there is anything they can do to help you. Its hard I know but my bi-polar didn't set in til I hit puberty at 13 I started having problems took 2 more years before I was diagnosed as bi-polar...either way good luck.



MistresssAria -> RE: My Mental Health (4/6/2008 8:38:58 PM)

*haven't read the other posts*.......my dad's a psychiatrist & mom's a psychologist (that was an interesting childhood).......sounds like manic depression to me.  I personally have severe depression and anxiety disorder - and I've gone through a lot of different medications until I found ones that worked.  Granted, they do NOT work with fixing problems in life - they balance out my brain chemistry, but if I have a bad day, they're not going to help with that.  That's life. 
Without trying to sound too preachy, it seems like you would benefit from medication & regular therapy.  Even now, you can sign into Yahoo chat rooms & talk to people with problems like yours, it might help, you're not the only one like this, remember that, and you're not crazy!!!
One thing I'd like to add, that my dad always says, is that a good majority of doctors - if they start you on medication - start you off on higher doses than they should.  This means that many people get side effects right away & hate them & stop taking the meds - but the side effects usually go away.  Things like anti-depressants can take up to, oh, 3 weeks to fully work for you, so should you start anything, keep that in mind - that it takes a little while sometimes, and side effects should go away by that time (if not, then talk to your doctor).
YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON.
I'm in the U.S., but inpatient care here is really shitty - I've had friends go to hospitals, and be released when they should not have been - too much overcrowding, not enough funds. 
A private practice psychiatrist would *in my opinion* be who you should go see.
As for cutting, if you are not doing it in areas where it will kill you, it's something lots of people with similar problems do - it chills you out, it makes you feel, and while it isn't good, if you need to chill out like that to keep from killing yourself, you're very similar to many people, and we all want you to stay alive!
If you can - this might help - when you freak out, try breathing into a bag.....don't hyperventilate, take deep breaths, but stop if you get light-headed - this forces carbon dioxide into your system and can calm you down - carry a bag wherever you go.  Call help/suicide hotlines - you can have someone understanding talk to 24 hours a day. 
Pleeeeease call for some sort of therapy help TODAY hun - set something up, you're not crazy, you just need a little help, everyone does sometimes.
And write me if you want to!
*lots of love*
-Aria



Corvidae -> RE: My Mental Health (4/10/2008 11:22:26 AM)

Hello lovelylucy!
One thing I am certain of is that you are not a horrible person. In the midst of a depression (or whatever it is you are experiencing) it is easy to fall into self loathing, especially after doing things that hurt and confuse yourself and others (I know this from personal experience).
The group therapy you have a referral to is a good idea. I'd recomend trying to find a therapist (psychiatrist, psychologist, or whatever) to meet with one-on-one as well. I'd try to set up an appointment ASAP. I don't know what the doctors you met with were thinking to say you are "fine" and send you on your way. If you feel there is a problem, then there is a problem. If you ever feel like killing yourself again, there are always suicide hotlines. Feel free to call them even if you aren't in iminant danger of killing yourself. It can be immensely helpful just to have an unbaised ear to talk things over with.
I won't say that things will ultimately be peaches and cream. When I have felt depressed this was one of the most annoying things to hear. However, things can change and improve, and they often do.
I wish you the best of luck! Feel free to drop me a line if you ever want to talk.
Corvidae



Corvidae -> RE: My Mental Health (4/10/2008 12:00:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85
talking about me? I know more about the situation than you guys do.


Since you brought it up, yes, I was speaking of you.  You may feel you have more technical knowledge than anyone else (and you're certainly entitled to your opinion), but your demonstrated lack of common sense and rational decision-making ability pretty much negates any knowledge you may feel you possess. 

In other words, you are not stable enough to be giving someone advice who has suicidal ideation. 

Cali



Frankly speaking, during the times I have been depressed I have gotten the most comfort and help out of talking to people who have been there before or are currently going through a hard time. It helps to know that you are not the "only one," and it is especially helpfull to hear when someone says that they have been in a similar straights and have managed to get through them. This is part of why group therapy can be helpfull, we can learn and take strength from each other's experiences. Having acted in an irrational way at some point in our life does not negate any knowlege we possess. We are not crazy, and are often painfully aware of how irrational our behavior and feelings can be. I challenge you to find a single person who has at no point in time acted in an irrational manner.

As to taking advice from any one person, regardless of their mental health history, especially advice recieved over the web, it is always good to take things with a large grain of salt.



lovelylucy -> RE: My Mental Health (4/24/2008 5:51:46 PM)

Haha, something reminded me of this today.

When I was in IP I didn't eat. I even managed to get them to let me weigh myself a few times, then got paranoid that I had eaten and had forgotten or was eating when I wasn't totally 'myself', and asked them to check if I had...

Made me giggle today, but I'm in a funny sort of mood. Ate two rolls, so feeling bad, but starting to find how shit things are rather funny really [:D]

And I'm very excited about my maple syrup coming tomorrow or Saturday... kinda worried about the amount of sugar though.

Ho hum.

I love this box, I can put anything I want in here.



lovelylucy -> RE: My Mental Health (4/24/2008 5:53:53 PM)

Oh, and I also got a cheque for £12k today, from a medical negligence claim thing, it's been 4 years since that started...

And now I'm coming up, it's weird, everything is shit but I feel high from it. And nothing really matters.



RumpusParable -> RE: My Mental Health (4/24/2008 8:35:23 PM)

OP,

I hope you're doing well.  There's very little any of us here can say or suggest beyond stating good wishes... the symptoms you describe can be caused by a few different mental health issues and also by a number of physical health issues.

See your doctors and get well-screened by them when you get in.  This included working with the nutritionist, having allergy testing, wide hormone screening, and working with a psychiatrist.  There are a *lot* of things that can cause sudden and extreme mood swing, suicidal urges, etc.  Be sure to cover all ground with your doctors so that you can find out what is truly the problem and get it addressed as quickly and accurately as possible.

Best wishes to you with it,
Rumpus



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