Dominants and Switches ?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Dominants and Switches ?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Dominants and Switches ?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 7:36:50 AM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

I was wondering, those that list themselves as Dominants on this site, why do some seek Switches?

Is it a desire for a Dominant to control the Switch, overcome their domliness and prove them submissive ?

Could it be that those who list as Dominant may have the desire to switch themselves ?

Or could it be the challenge ?

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

Post #: 1

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 7:54:29 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

It could be as simple as widening their choices in a competitive market.

_____________________________

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 2

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 8:07:11 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

It could be as simple as widening their choices in a competitive market.

The simplest answer is usually the right one.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 3

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 8:07:31 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I don't seek a switch... but I have Owned one in the past. she didn't switch with Me of course but rather begged for and was granted permission to have a pet of her own.

Not all switches have the need or even desire to switch within a particular relationship. I don't seek such but if someone compatabile comes along and happens to be switch I wouldn't rule them out. Given My girl doesn't switch either then either a sub or switch girl would have potential as a third.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 4

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 8:23:32 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I have a sub that desires to be Dom'ed once in a while. She is a Domme to her own subs. Everyone has their own set of needs.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 5

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 8:52:13 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I seek compatible people. Orientation is secondary.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 6

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 9:08:44 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Agreed.

Compatability is paramout. I'm a switch with a switch. In many cases, when a Dominant owns a Switch...it's just that the switch is sub -only- to the Dominant. Has absolutely nothing to do with overpowering the switch's Dom/me side....anyone who tries to suppress part of someone else is insecure and just plain stupid in my opinion.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 7

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 9:18:32 AM

vield

Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

My thought is that a big part of this question is simply the fact that language has different meanings to different people sometimes, and that the listings available here are not always compatible with that which we want or with that which we do not want.

I feel the ONLY label which is accurate is one a person applies to their own forehead, and that for anyone else to correctly interpret that label they need to talk it over with the person wearing it.

Some feel if they ever have tried different roles they need to call themself switch, even if they are not currently seeking that.

I find that until I get to know someone fairly well, I can not say whether I will feel dominant towards them, submissive towards them, equal to them or totally un-interested in anything about them. There is always someone with more charisma than mine, and there are always people whose charisma is quite submissive to mine.

Some new dominants are open to learning from others, and I know it can be quite interesting to teach a new Domme to take charge of me! A person can learn much from others with more experience, even if all really are seeking folks with diverse needs that they may not truly find with partners who do not share those needs. For example a Lesbian slave can learn much from a respectful and trusted male dominant she can trust, just as a Gay sub can learn a lot from a straight FemDomme.

_____________________________

As always, your mileage may vary!

vield

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 8

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 6:37:19 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I dunno, I haven't known doms who actively seek switches to the exclusion of others. I'd guess as was said that it's just keeping all options open in a small pool and possibly because they feel they'd have more in common being able to identify with the dominant orientation.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to vield)

Post #: 9

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 7:28:01 PM

Arrrchibald

Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline

The glass is half full.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 10

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 8:19:19 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I was wondering, those that list themselves as Dominants on this site, why do some seek Switches?

Is it a desire for a Dominant to control the Switch, overcome their domliness and prove them submissive ?

Could it be that those who list as Dominant may have the desire to switch themselves ?

Or could it be the challenge ?

I'm a switch listed as dominant because I do not switch within a relationship, am 90+% dominant, and am only seeking a submissive counterpart.

I may contact someone listed as a switch because their submissive traits/side may be a match for my dominance.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 11

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 8:24:16 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

As long as they don't want me to bottom or submit-why would I care?

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 12

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 9:32:58 PM

MisterStrongWill

Posts: 44
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline

Well I do not have a lot of experience with switches but the 2 I know some times just want neutral situations a little more freedom so to speak.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 13

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 9:46:24 PM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I was wondering, those that list themselves as Dominants on this site, why do some seek Switches?

Is it a desire for a Dominant to control the Switch, overcome their domliness and prove them submissive ?

Could it be that those who list as Dominant may have the desire to switch themselves ?

Or could it be the challenge ?

I think that you may be working on the assumption that any dominant who is "seeking switches" may be looking to form a permanent, D/s relationship with whomever they say they are looking for. I just don't think that is the case. A lot of people here may only be here to find play partners, chat, read the boards and get information from sources and perspectives that may not be available elsewhere.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 14

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 10:30:32 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Perhaps because some dominants have gotten to know that particular switch well enough to know that if they commit themself to a submissive role, they will be happy and fulfilled in it. Just because a person's a switch doesn't mean they can't happily fulfill a full-time role as one orientation or the other.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 15

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 10:35:40 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

I switch... rarely...

I find it impossible to dominate an older, or very masculine looking guy. I limit my Domme side to younger, more "femme" males, and the occasoinal submissive female.

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

Post #: 16

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 3/31/2008 10:38:51 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I was wondering, those that list themselves as Dominants on this site, why do some seek Switches?

Is it a desire for a Dominant to control the Switch, overcome their domliness and prove them submissive ?

Could it be that those who list as Dominant may have the desire to switch themselves ?

Or could it be the challenge ?

Could be any of those and lots more. I can envision Himself looking for a switch just because he likes to watch other people play, see their techniques, perhaps learn from them or have them top or bottom to me.

It's all good.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 17

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 4/1/2008 12:07:29 AM

themischievous1

Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I was wondering, those that list themselves as Dominants on this site, why do some seek Switches?

Maybe it's because they've learned to see beneath the silly labels and have realized that no one really fits theirs 100%, and that people are individuals first. A lot of switches are capable of being one thing with one person and something else with another, dependent upon what the particular person brings out in them. This does not mean that they can't commit or be monogamous in a relationship, or remain completely contented in one role or the other - (dom or sub). Switches are often stereotyped so very unfairly out of downright ignorance.

At any rate, when chemistry is there between two compatible people, anything is possible between them and that anything is often quite interesting. I think this is why Doms/Dommes might go for switches. They aren't allowing themselves to be restrained by labels and have learned that labels often just get in the way of meeting the right person.

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 18

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 4/1/2008 2:37:40 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

You're assuming that the relationship would be monogamous. That's not necessarily the case. For many switches, they are bottom to one person but Top to another. Some also don't see bottom = submissive and Top = Dominant. They like to mix and match the physical sensations.

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 4/1/2008 2:38:48 AM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 19

RE: Dominants and Switches ? - 4/1/2008 6:53:18 AM

epiphany

Posts: 41
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline

I agree with MasterFireMaam,

I am an owned slave, who happens to be a switch. I have owned and been owned, Topped and bottomed. I am a switch from either a play or M/s point of view.

However, I don't follow the Master = Top, and slave = bottom path.

For me M/s is the relationship dynamic, and SM is simply the play / physical ( fun!) stuff. You can be either a D type or s type and enjoy either end of the whip without losing credability.

My owner is also a switch, but of a different type than me. He is always Dominant within relationship dynamics, but can Top or bottom in play, enjoying either equally.

If this is someone who seperates relationship dynamics from play / scening, and they enjoy bottoming at times...they might prefer a switch.

epiphany
(living in the grey areas)

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Dominants and Switches ?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.156