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RE: Defining "submissive not only in the bedroom&q... - 10/5/2005 1:56:51 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

Hi BlkTallFullfig
I understand your point but what I failed to say was that even if the man is submissive in his public life with his partner but does not engage in anything "kinky" in private, then he is not a submissive in a femdom relationship. It all boils down to the acticities behind closed doors. Of course a man that is submissive behind closed doors would be submissive in most public areas of life as well.
No darling, I think you have your information slightly backwards, but take my words with a grain of salt as my experience/knowledge is limited. At the risk of pointing to labels which are open to everyone's interpretation, My understanding is: a bottom simply means the person who takes on the submissive role for the duration of a scene. This term is associated with being on the receiving end of bondage, discipline, and sadism.
I like the dictionary's definition of a submissive: Main Entry:
quote:

sub·mis·sive
Pronunciation: s&b-'mis-iv
Function: adjective
: characterized by tendencies to yield to the will or authority of others
. To me that means anywhere anytime, not just in the bedroom, and not necessarily in the bedroom. I would bet there are dominants here who play bottom in the bedroom frequently.

Please feel free to disregard my words since the only interpretation that matters is the one between you and your lady. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 10/5/2005 2:14:24 PM >

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(in reply to Looking4answrs)
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RE: Defining "submissive not only in the bedroom&q... - 10/6/2005 11:42:07 AM   
Janon


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/1/2005
Status: offline 		I'm a newbie too, so I've got nothin.

I just wanted to add that how Akasha describes Silver is a great description of my own husband. Honestly, I've been confused in our interaction because he has some trouble submitting in the bedroom (he says it is a result of some leftover psychological stuff). I've been wondering all along--if he's so willing to demure to me on issues of every day life, what is missing in the bedroom?

An interesting thread--I'm wondering if it all doesn't come down to personal definition rather than a set of outwardly defined rules. Because I would call the female led/male follow relationship a D/s one. But that's ME...

Hope I don't ramble too much

Janon

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Defining "submissive not only in the bedroom&q... - 10/6/2005 12:10:22 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

I'm wondering if it all doesn't come down to personal definition rather than a set of outwardly defined rules. Because I would call the female led/male follow relationship a D/s one.
Actually we all agree that the only definition that matters is the one between you and yours.
I definitely agree that a female lead/male followed relationship is a D/s one, even more so than one where he only played bottom in the bedroom in my opinion. M

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Defining "submissive not only in the bedroom&q... - 10/6/2005 12:47:21 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

To me that means anywhere anytime, not just in the bedroom, and not necessarily in the bedroom. I would bet there are dominants here who play bottom in the bedroom frequently.

Someone recently told me: "Its never black and white but in billions shades of gray". That is why I personally dont like labels. I believe that there are some people out there involved in totally and truly D/s relationships who would be shocked and horrified if you told them so - maybe they are not even aware of the fact.
quote:

Actually we all agree that the only definition that matters is the one between you and yours.

Exactly.

Its only that sometimes we have doubts we like to discuss with others to clarify them a bit that way.

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Kassia

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Defining "submissive not only in the bedroom&q... - 10/6/2005 2:10:38 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Someone recently told me: "Its never black and white but in billions shades of gray".

-------

yeah. i keep hearing that but "I".......DO live in a black n white world. either i get done what i am supposed to or i don't. NO excuses.

the judge asks guilty or not...no excuses.

my wives said either i make enough or they leave. no excuse.

the cop says either cooperate or not...no excuses.
where.................are these gray areas in life? i havent found one yet........

ok.

back to msging.
woofie

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Defining "submissive not only in the bedroom&q... - 10/6/2005 2:18:03 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

yeah. i keep hearing that but "I".......DO live in a black n white world. either i get done what i am supposed to or i don't. NO excuses.

the judge asks guilty or not...no excuses.

my wives said either i make enough or they leave. no excuse.

the cop says either cooperate or not...no excuses.
where.................are these gray areas in life? i havent found one yet........

ok.

back to msging.
woofie


You have several ways to get done what you have to do. And you can do it in many levels - like some people just sweep dust under the carpet and some rub floors for hours.

The judge can sentence someone to parole or to death sentence - I should say it makes a big difference.

Your wives may have done whatever they wanted, it doesnt mean that all wives are like that...... and they are still wives.

The cop can give you respectful warning or beat you to death if you dont cooperate.

Its all shades and levels.
If you see your life black&white it is just your personal choice to see it that way.

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Kassia

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RE: Defining "submissive not only in the bedroom&q... - 10/6/2005 2:18:38 PM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Beatmehrdr

quote:

... controls the remote


Whip me, beat me, lock me in a cage, put me in chastity for the next decade without a chance of relief, but please, don't take THAT from me!


LOL...I know that feeling too...though it is my kids I lose it to when they visit.

tasha

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(in reply to Beatmehrdr)
Profile   Post #: 27
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