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Stephann -> RE: Question for all?????????????? (4/2/2008 11:17:28 AM)
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Please consider this comment to be Frank (and Shirley) with compassion.
What folks are trying to say....
... is that you've just posted the BDSM equivalent of a Horny Net Geek's "How do I get laid?"
It's really a common question, and deserves an honest answer so that such fellows don't mistakenly attract women with false pretexts.
The easiest way I've found to meet a casual play partner is a vanilla bar. It's really not that complicated, but some common sense rules apply. Rule one matters most!
- Be ready! This is a competition! KittenSol is spot on; when it comes to casual relationships, it's a buyer's market and you're selling. If you're not getting your fix, it's because you're not getting ahead in the race.
- Be in shape, dress nice, smell nice, have your physical aspects completely addressed. This contributes to:
- Be confident! If you feel you should apologize for talking to a girl, you probably should and not have bothered her in the first place.
- Be friendly! If you come off desperate, annoying, or irritating, there's absolutely no reason for the girl to tolerate your company more than five minutes. If you genuinely approach the girl like you could be her friend, you have a much greater chance of being her friend. That's when the golden moment comes from "lets have coffee... wink" to "lets go to my place... wink."
- Be up front! If all you really want to do is tie her up and spank her, make sure she knows that within the first hour or so. If you don't tell her then, you make it into a big and creepy thing. If she knows about it up front, it may be even more enticing to her. If not, you cut the dead weight free, and move on.
- Be honest! Don't promise marriage and kids, just to get her in bed. Too many women want a fling to have to hurt those who don't.
Stephan
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