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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/6/2005 2:12:09 AM

girl4you2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I don't really understand what you're asking. If you asked him to elaborate, and got the answers you were looking for, then didn't that tell you how to interpret what he said? We don't know what questions you asked and what answers you got, so our interpretations are nearly meaningless.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplySubmissive

i asked Him to elaborate, and got the answers i was looking for, but they were not what i thought He meant at first.

i concur. this is so vague as to not really allow interpretation. clarification you may have gotten, but you didn't pass on to the rest of us here that you're seeking advise from.

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/6/2005 3:04:19 AM

subversiveone

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
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Having asked almost this SAME exact question myself a few months ago, i think i understand.
The point she's trying to make is that while she thought he meant he'd go about it the way she pictured it, all nice and civilized, he didn't mean that at all and would we have assumed the same thing perhaps, given the original answer. Right?
Maybe not.
However, if it is, i can tell you that i caught on to this idea of "i'll do whatever i please and giving you a nice easy answer like no-im not poly is too restrictive for me to be held to" and decided it wasn't for me. If you ask someone if they are straight and their answer is yes, that doesn't mean you expect them to remain straight for life but it's usually presumed they will be satisfied by that decision. It's also presumed if they are going to enter a relationship under those pretenses they'll abide by them. Who knows for how long. But since we're ever changing we can't possibly be held to our decisions and/or promises such as monogamy or heterosexuality. Right? ;) Wouldn't it be easier on everyone involved to just check the box marked, bi, poly switch and figure it out later?

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/6/2005 8:38:38 AM

atenderheart

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subversiveone i can totaly understand that last line you wrote... we are all changing constintly...

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/6/2005 8:54:11 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HentaiGamerKitty

In a true M/s relationship, its the master's right to acquire other slaves.

I have to disagree with this. First because there is no such thing as a "true" Master/slave relationship since slavery doesn't exist legally in this country. And what's "true" to me may not be what is "true" to you.

Before entering into contract or doing a collar is the time to negotiate and lay out your expectations for the relationship. Why? Because BOTH sides have the right to be happy. So, if a monogamous relationship is what is negotiated then aquiring anotherslave/submissive is not acceptable behavior. In fact, it would be cause for the contract or collar to be over.

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/6/2005 11:38:58 AM

JustaTop

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In practical terms,Masters only have what RIGHTS a slave assigns to them.

That's it folks,the root of all of this "power".

Legally,these men don't have a so much as a matchstick to support them.

So if the "slave" decides no go on the extra fun-his choice is to find a another slave who makes choices he WANTS instead.

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/6/2005 11:55:25 AM

ownedjulia

Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop

In practical terms,Masters only have what RIGHTS a slave assigns to them.

That's it folks,the root of all of this "power".

Legally,these men don't have a so much as a matchstick to support them.

So if the "slave" decides no go on the extra fun-his choice is to find a another slave who makes choices he WANTS instead.

Quite correct!!! I can just see Master taking me to court over breaking a term in my slave contract to him.

At the end of the day, I choose to serve and obey him.... no, I NEED to serve and obey him and it works for me.

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/6/2005 5:01:40 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
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I agree with all of this, since we are talking specifically about a M/S relationship. I think these are the sorts of things that make it different from a D/S (or other styles) of relationship - the person is property, with all the inherent implications of being property.

C~

quote:

ORIGINAL: HentaiGamerKitty

I never meant to imply that your relationship was "fake." However, if he allows you to say that he's "not allowed" to have other slaves, I would say that you're involved in a slightly different type of relationship than the one that I'm in. In our relationship, I don't have a right to tell him what is or isn't ok for him to do, in ANY circumstances. Its is AlWAYS his choice. I trust him not to make decisions that would hurt me, but it is STILL his choice.

My point was that if a slave is SLAVE (property), she doesn't get a say so. Its the master's choice. He may discuss it with the slave and CHOOSE to agree to a monogamous relationship because he feels it would be better for her emotionally, but its still his choice and not hers.

Its like me and my horses (I show/train barrel racing horses.)...I don't ask one horse if its ok for me to buy another horse. They're pets/property.They don't get a say so. I'll take it into consideration that I don't think my horse would get along with a new horse if I bought one, but its still my choice. Granted, horses can't talk, but I think you get my point.

If he's the master and I'm the slave, my opinion doesn't officially count (although he will take it into consideration unofficially.)

Perhaps my concept of M/s relationships is a bit more severe...For example, I don't believe in a slave setting hard limits. That's the Master's job, to decide what will and won't be done. I also don't want safe words with my Master. For me, it makes me feel like I'm in control which I don't want.

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/6/2005 6:13:31 PM

SimplySubmissive

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Joined: 1/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone

Having asked almost this SAME exact question myself a few months ago, i think i understand.
The point she's trying to make is that while she thought he meant he'd go about it the way she pictured it, all nice and civilized, he didn't mean that at all and would we have assumed the same thing perhaps, given the original answer. Right?

That's exactly what i was trying to say...thank you!

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/7/2005 6:02:29 AM

sweetpettjenny

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well this is a hard subject for me...i ask and re ask what Doms feel they want . Even being a slave, before i am collared i make sure the dom is on the same page as i want to be. Because once collared its his rules. I make sure he wants just me , and has strong feelings about living monagamously.

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/7/2005 9:05:26 AM

Fawne

Posts: 462
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hello all:

In my opinion it just sounds like he isn't sure.

You know how submissives/slaves learn and grow, right? Who of us first knew everything?

Even very experienced people may not know all of their personal potential. Humans grow. Some strive continually to realize personal potential. Some play it safe. I think many here will understand that.

Who knows what our limits are or could be..? Under the right circumstances, time, place, space...? Do we truly know our darkest secrets? We may even hide the most frightening, personal value conflicting possibilities, fantasies from ....ourselves?

I am submissive; but I believe dominants/masters/mistress' face the same challange.

And in that: they are vunerable, too.

Just my mind wondering...
best to everyone! fawne

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/8/2005 10:18:57 AM

SimplySubmissive

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quote:

ORIGINAL: girl4you2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I don't really understand what you're asking. If you asked him to elaborate, and got the answers you were looking for, then didn't that tell you how to interpret what he said? We don't know what questions you asked and what answers you got, so our interpretations are nearly meaningless.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplySubmissive

i asked Him to elaborate, and got the answers i was looking for, but they were not what i thought He meant at first.

i concur. this is so vague as to not really allow interpretation. clarification you may have gotten, but you didn't pass on to the rest of us here that you're seeking advise from.

My reason for this post was to see how other submissives handle this kind of thing. When i was very new, i may have not asked any further questions, because i had that picture in my mind of what he meant.

This is such an important thing to discuss in the begining, that i wanted to know other's thoughts.

I've known quite a few subs who have not asked enough questions in the begining, and found themselves collared to someone with very different values/expectations.

I did state the answers to the questions in a later post.

Fawne;
He was very sure what he wanted. He wanted a collared sub, maybe 2, or 3? who knows. and he wanted to continue to play around... when ever the mood struck him. ( he had/has a thing for phone sex, cam fun) and, it turned out, he had a sub, already, who did not know of his playing around.. he said she was too jealous..couldn't handle the info.

the guy was not for me. but.. i thought at first he might be. if i had not asked the right questions, he certainly would not have volunteered that information.

The goal here was to talk about those questions... and the meaning of the answers we get.

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RE: How would you interpret this phrase? - 10/9/2005 2:55:17 AM

Fraulein

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quote:

They call it "hedging your bets" honey. In short, it is "eelspeak" for saying "I'd rather not let you nail me down on this-but I want to offer a "feel good" solution to mollify your doubts."

Slippery lilthing,isn't he?

Wonder what he will come up with next time?

Whats wrong with hedging your bets when you're exploring? Its about opening up possibilities not killing them off before they've even started. Venus and Mars. Sometimes.. girls just need telling! so its Yip Yip for honesty!

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