"our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (Full Version)

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pahunkboy -> "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 6:58:58 AM)

Jenny:  "from now on dont call so early"

Me: "dont be so inflexable"

Jenny: "if I want to sleep in.."

Me: [see post title]

=== context ==  we had not talked 6 weeks. She did not want me calling after 8pm.

Too many rules.  For too long the exchange hasnt been 50/50.

What an old bag!  Dont sleep with 2 phones at your pillow if you are that annoyed.

She calls and dumps on me most the call, then is "unavailable" for any reciprication.

I bit my tongue for about 4 years.  Saying good bye is hard...but the loss happened long ago,,,,





kittinSol -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 7:16:18 AM)

Some friendships have a sell-by date on them. Nothing wrong with letting go of them in order to move on.



Gemini1766 -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 11:55:47 AM)

What kittensol said.



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 11:57:26 AM)

you were friends with jenny craig???? WOW!!!!!

1-800-96-JENNY

8675309 jenny i got ya #



sirsholly -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 12:02:25 PM)

I'm so sorry...i know it hurts.
*hug*



sub4hire -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 12:44:27 PM)

I think I would have voiced my concerns before just ending a solid friendship.

Made sure she heard, even if she didn't want to hear.

Then if she didn't care, I would have ended it.

So, let's say she calls you.  Do you pick up the phone?



MissMorrigan -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 12:57:26 PM)

I wouldn't even go as far as to call it a friendship. The kind of response seems rather adolescent and while I agree with Kittinsol insofar as some acquaintainships having a sell by date, if people can dispose of a frienship as quickly as a soiled tissue then it wasn't a friendship.



pahunkboy -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 5:01:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

I think I would have voiced my concerns before just ending a solid friendship.

Made sure she heard, even if she didn't want to hear.

Then if she didn't care, I would have ended it.

So, let's say she calls you.  Do you pick up the phone?



Yes, I pick up the phone if she calls.  She is aware that I dont like all the phone restrictions.

tho odd thing is- an hour later I gets a call- from a guy I once dated.  We spent time together today- it was nice. We did not have sex, tho he would have wanted to.  It was nice to be caressed.  I had sent him a letter a month ago.   So to handle this in a adult manner.  :-)



pahunkboy -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 5:04:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

I'm so sorry...i know it hurts.
*hug*



At the moment it does not hurt. I felt good to say what I mean.  Her inflexable-ness triggerred it.  Had she  handled it differently I probaly would not have done that.  But if I dont verbalize it- then where we stand is fuzzy.  well now it isnt fuzzy. it isnt shades of gray.

later it will probaly hurt.  who knows. 



DesFIP -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 7:50:45 PM)

If I'm sleeping in, then the phone isn't at my bedside. She could turn off the ringer if she knows she wants to sleep late.



Luciferica -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 7:54:53 PM)

Well, some people need to be cut off, if she can't be fair, neither should you



lalbobbilynn -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 8:04:19 PM)

i am sorry Your friendship ended, nevertheless, it seems as if it was all a formality really ..... as You said had ceased long ago. Funny (not really, yet in this case kinda!!) how karma seems to work. You make the choice to end Your friendship with her, only to have a friend from past surface .... and so life goes!!!



loverly -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/7/2008 8:13:59 PM)

You know.. i totally understand .....this happened to me .. twice.. the first time.. she said i wasnt a good enough friend.. that i didnt "ask" about her personal life enough or share mine with her.. but you know ? i did.. in the begining.and welcomed her in my home and on her vacation...and when i asked what was happening with her she just seemed to not wish to share it with me.. and then i heard all about it from other ppl we knew. this went on for a couple of months ... lol call me stupid but that alone was a sign our friendship didnt mean much and then in the end i was not a nice person and a lier to boot! was accused of using her for rides and such when SHE OFFERED anytime to help out.. beware of people offering anything unless You know you can pay them back.. its really not unconditional !!! and when you take them up on their "KIND" hah! offer.. they accuse you of using them! ...... so after that happened  i turned away.. i dont need that crap. i felt bad but.. selfpreservation at that time was necessary.. i was going thru some really impossiable times... recently i lost someone who was very important to me .. a Dominant. Someone i believed in and thought i could trust above all the other shit in my life..... because i mentioned to a friend that this same girl who i turned away from was bugging Him and he didnt like it.. and the friend i confided in , in turn turned around and said something to others that would tell this girl that.. and Of Course they all attacked HIM about it..( did i mention he has ZERO tollerance for gossip or confrontation and drama? )  and unfortunatly for me.. it was the one mistake i couldnt make in His eyes...wiothout a chance to explain ( for there was none that he wanted to hear)  He turned away from me and never looked back... on the one hand.. i didnt say " Dont tell or repeat this!" but i didnt think i needed to ... and on the other hand.. i couldnt have really mattered to Him if i wasnt allowed a mistake .( i could see and accept punishment but to not ever speak to me again? a esson hard learned for sure ) . it wasnt done intentionally ... and am now hurt so much i am not sure i care to really trust anyone totally.. will take a long time.iIF ever....  so in either position it hurts to some degree..sometimes more than we realize.. as friends.. we all have different needs... as we are all differnt people.. and too we are not all ment to be friends i guess.. and thats ok.. sometimes i guess we have to think about ourselves.. lots easier when its us thinking rather than us being pushed away when others are thinnking of themselves! but .. such is life!



pahunkboy -> RE: "our friendship is over, good bye' click. ~ (4/8/2008 7:25:57 AM)

Every minute that I dont call, is she getting what she wants, which is not to be botherred by the phone.

This time around is different however.   Instead of the silent treatment "game"- that really is juvenile; I verbalized what I did.  I dont know if it bothered her or not. Tho it isnt important I guess.

She has a key to my house, and owes me $20 yet.  Maybe she will mail it down.  Tho I own extra door locks amd I can simply change the lock.

Times moves on. We cant control others.

It is hard to repect someone that wont vote, too.  I dont mean a person must vote for who I do...but to not vote..."cause they all lie" is a feeble excuse.

I will miss 20% of her.   80% of her, is like a can of garbage. It wont be missed.



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