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Am I a switch because - 4/8/2008 3:09:38 PM

Bukchoi

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Joined: 7/9/2005
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every now and then I like a bit of cbt. Nothing too intense.
Some binding and clamps...

Or has my brain turned to mush?

< Message edited by Bukchoi -- 4/8/2008 3:10:30 PM >

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RE: Am I a switch because - 4/9/2008 9:59:24 AM

Aine

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Liking pain has nothing to do with being submissive. You just happen to like pain.

I've known plenty of Dominant masochists that instruct their subs (hopefully ones that have a sadistic streak lol) to do things to them in order to get their pain. Because the Dominant has control of what they do and how they do it, they are merely bottoming to get their pain, but are always in control of the situation.

Being a sadistic submissive doesn't mean that the submissive is a switch in the same sense. Many are instructed by a Dominant in a scene to give pain to either the Dominant or another sub.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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RE: Am I a switch because - 4/9/2008 1:40:35 PM

FlamingRedhead

Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
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If you're directing the activity and commanding your sub to do this to you, you're topping from the bottom. Being a masochist doesn't make one a switch any more than being a switch makes one a masochist.

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

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RE: Am I a switch because - 4/9/2008 4:15:30 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bukchoi

every now and then I like a bit of cbt. Nothing too intense.
Some binding and clamps...

Or has my brain turned to mush?

Not at all. Even a chef tastes his own dishes :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Bukchoi)

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RE: Am I a switch because - 4/10/2008 9:07:19 AM

comely

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Joined: 2/19/2008
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I agree with both Aine and Redhead. Before reading this post, I thought that the concept of being Dom meant always being the giver, and the sub always being the receiver (analogy: typical penal/vaginal sex). Anyway, I personally am a switch because there are some things that I COULD NOT give over completely to a Femdom to control, but I still would like to control and be controlled at times. I have both Dom/sub and top/bottom tendencies because there are many things that I would love to try on both sides.

Sorry if this does not fit some "protocol" set in stone :p.

Thank you all for being open to discuss this.

(in reply to LotusSong)

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RE: Am I a switch because - 4/23/2008 2:41:18 AM

impossiblesub

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I have heard it said that the Dom is enslaved by the slave. As for Dommes who think they need to control everything to have control it is not neccessary. Granting a slave the freedom or permission to have control over certain aspects of the relationship is an act of dominance in itself.

< Message edited by impossiblesub -- 4/23/2008 2:47:58 AM >

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RE: Am I a switch because - 4/26/2008 11:27:41 PM

Celeres

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I completely agree with FlamingRedhead. You just enjoy topping and from time to time, you enjoy to top from the bottom. Does a general 100 miles away from the battlefield, any less different than a general 5 miles from the battlefield?

Same title, same respect from his/her troops. Some people say ketchup, some people say kat-sup. =)

(in reply to impossiblesub)

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RE: Am I a switch because - 4/27/2008 6:11:16 PM

DesFIP

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Giving/receiving an activity does not equal leader/follower. I like getting my feet rubbed, I also like rubbing his. Doesn't mean I like being in charge.

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RE: Am I a switch because - 4/28/2008 1:27:53 AM

Lashra

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You enjoy bottoming, which is not to be confused with submitting. They are two totally different things.

My definition of a switch is this: A person who enjoys playing either the Dom or sub role depending upon what partner they are with.

Now that definition works for me, it won't work for everyone of course. But it sounds like your a bottom to me from the information given.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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RE: Am I a switch because - 4/28/2008 2:56:17 PM

TeachMeTonight

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So my definition of switching is broader than those given so far. In other words I do not think that switching is just about moving from the dominant to the submissive position. I think it can also cover moving from the top to the bottom. I am saying this more for clarification of my primary point.

Whether or not you label yourself as a switch, if you want to find a partner who is comfortable with serving you by topping you this way, it is important to disclose this information to them. Don't wait until someone is highly committed to you and say, oh by the way...

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RE: Am I a switch because - 4/28/2008 4:05:29 PM

Dmon

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Well maybe I just like a good mind fucking. Whether I'm the fucker, or just getting fucked. Ofcourse there are ways to get inside my head, like cbt, and worship, etc. But I like hitting that sub space high just as much as I like being inside of a bottoms head, making her do as I wish... and knowing she'll be begging for more. *WEG* I think thats mainly why I'm only a casual kinkster. Sustaining a mind fuck, or staying in subspace for a long amount of time, really drags on me.

I'm like a kid at the fair. I like the roller coaster rides. I like my fun to be intense, up and down with a few corkscrews and loops thrown in. But a short time later I'm off the ride; and it's either back in line for another go around or time go get some cotten candy, and watch the clown show. (wow, thats some fucked up symbolism.... but I like it)

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RE: Am I a switch because - 7/1/2008 8:00:35 PM

Spikeisbad

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Now I'm really confused. Top, bottom, sub, dom, master, slave, switch. What do you call someone who enjoys being tied up and flogged and being really mouthy while it's happening, but would also enjoy having someone to tie up and flogg, and drip wax on, etc... Personally I don't think the 'label' makes that big of a difference. Its just when everyone in a group is going around describing their flavor. I'm not sure how to describe me. Other than I enjoy being restrained, flogged, but not submissive.

(in reply to Dmon)

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RE: Am I a switch because - 7/11/2008 12:23:15 PM

HerselfTheElf

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I became a Swtich because my Dom/husband became unable to fulfill that role, and I had all this energy with no one to direct it towards! With His knowledge and permission, I have continued my BDSM activities in local clubs, and thus began topping male subs. Since I'm also bi, I eventually topped some fem subs as well. Over time what was "service topping" has become an integral part of who I am as a person. While my strongest tendency is to the maso/submissive side, I can also get into the Sado/Domme role with great satisfaction.

(in reply to Spikeisbad)

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RE: Am I a switch because - 7/12/2008 6:33:14 PM

Battleflag

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I don't think your brain is mush at all.

I don't know that I am a switch in the usual sense but I do agree with others in that the fulfillment of traditional roles is hella frustrating.

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"Even Christ could only get 11 of 12 right." ~ Unknown

"After all these years I'm still haze grey and underway..." ~ Me.

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RE: Am I a switch because - 7/14/2008 10:54:55 AM

crazyme11

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don't feel ur the only one lost...I am too...this is all new to me...to me a switch is one is dom & the other one sub...then they change rolls...confusing for me too...

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RE: Am I a switch because - 7/14/2008 10:56:26 AM

crazyme11

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oh by the way...what is cbt? see u know more than I do...plus I think u r hot..

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RE: Am I a switch because - 7/15/2008 4:17:50 PM

GigglingGoddess

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I haven't entirely figured out if I'm truly a switch or not. Upon entering the world of bdsm, I assumed the role of domme because my boyfriend is purely submissive. I've found that I like that role, knowing he's under my control and devoted to my pleasure. However, I occasionally fantasize about being the one tied up, and letting someone else (right now that would be my boyfriend) take control. I don't know that I'd want to submit so much as bottom. Just to give up control once in a while, let someone else make the decisions. My boyfriend has agreed to try topping me, so hopefully I'll have a better idea soon...

(in reply to crazyme11)

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RE: Am I a switch because - 7/16/2008 7:57:05 AM

leadership527

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I command my slave to "pleasure me" quite frequently. This works out great for us..

a) She enjoys topping during sex
b) I like to lay back and get pleased without a lot of work sometimes.

I didn't analyze it any further than that.-- It didn't seem all that complicated. But I can tell you that at no point do either of us see her as anything other than my slave. She's my slave obeying my command to please me in whatever ways I like... sometimes passively and sometimes actively.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Am I a switch because - 7/20/2008 3:04:05 AM

summersprite

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I command my slave to "pleasure me" quite frequently. This works out great for us..

a) She enjoys topping during sex
b) I like to lay back and get pleased without a lot of work sometimes.

I didn't analyze it any further than that.-- It didn't seem all that complicated. But I can tell you that at no point do either of us see her as anything other than my slave. She's my slave obeying my command to please me in whatever ways I like... sometimes passively and sometimes actively.

Oh. That makes complete sense to me. I am a submissive.... yet I have fantasies of doing things to my Sir that are definitely not sub like :-) At times, he has directed me to do things which involve me being active and him being passive.... and I really enjoy that. Perhaps I would like to take that further too..... does that make me a switch? .... or just a sub who wants to actively please my Sir in a 'dominant' kind of way? I have no idea - lol. Let's just say those fantasies do include tying him up and spanking him ;-) .... but then, he gets to retaliate..... Sigh.... :-).....

(in reply to leadership527)

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RE: Am I a switch because - 7/20/2008 3:42:58 PM

leadership527

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wow, something I said made complete sense to someone. Clearly I need to drink more *laughs*

More seriously... in the end, for us at least, it's a relationship. She has given herself to me about as completely as a person can. In return, I am responsible for ALL of her, not just the convenient parts. If my girl has a need, whether it's to move and live in a different area, get a different job (or maybe no job), or tie me up in the bedroom... those are ALL my problem. I liked what someone else wrote about being a Master...

As the Master, I choose when and how my slaves needs will be met.. not IF they are met.

Conveniently for me, I also happen to like being on the bottom sometimes. Does any or all of this make me "switch"?? Honestly, I don't really care. Does it make me less domly in some subs eyes? Sure, but since I wouldn't be interested in any sub who saw it like that anyway, no issue there. Might there even be *hushed silence from the crowd* some bits of submission in my personality? God forbid but it may be true *laughs*.

Summer, I highly encourage you to embrace who you ACTUALLY are. If you have fantasies... explore them.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to summersprite)

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