RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore?

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/16/2008 1:15:51 PM

PrettyPaddles

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FlamingRedhead, I also love the sig. And, they say the best revenge is to live a good life.

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/23/2008 12:16:24 AM

impossiblesub

Posts: 150
Joined: 4/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead

I had a dominant tell me I was just a submissive who likes to top, not a "true" switch.

It seems to me also that a lot of people tell you this to try to get you to give up on what you want out of the relationship. If the relationship is not mutually rewarding then why bother.

< Message edited by impossiblesub -- 4/23/2008 12:18:11 AM >

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 5/23/2008 9:29:37 AM

XaneKandor

Posts: 14
Joined: 5/19/2008
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I can only repeat what others have said already. Be true to yourself. Never let others influence who you truly are inside. And I like how others call us fence sitters. Well...next time some one calls you a fence sitter...tell them that you are and that you are proud of it....They will get this very bewildered look on their face and they will be compelled to ask why...and with a big shit eatting grin on your face, you say not that you are confused but, "Because from here I can see the grass on both sides...and never have to wonder which one is greener." Switches...we definately have the best of both worlds. And I damn any who try to take that away from any of us.

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"Knowledge is power. But there is no greater power then the knowledge of ones self. "

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 5/23/2008 5:57:50 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
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Unless it was said to me by a significant other or....someone who I was close to I don`t think I would give it much thought...

I am not one to *cycle* every other....day.

It all depends on who I am....with.

Gotta love...exchanges of....Power.

The best to you...go where there is....rest.

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 5/24/2008 1:01:19 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead
I had a dominant tell me I was just a submissive who likes to top, not a "true" switch. I had been wondering what the hell the difference is. The truth is that there is no difference!

There's a difference to me between topping and dominating. A sub who likes to top might not at all orient themselves as a switch.

It took my a few years to go from orienting myself as a "slave/top" to "switch." And there was a distinct difference in experience and relationship dynamics for me.

Again, all orientations must be internal, and cannot be decided from anyone external.

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 5/24/2008 6:15:50 PM

CuriousPuppy

Posts: 120
Joined: 6/20/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ScottyDont

What if someone said you were more like a Sub?

Do you have to stop topping in scenes?

That is incorrect, it's clear that you are more like a stalk of celery or perhaps an eggplant. Who cares what someone says?

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 5/28/2008 9:20:05 PM

fungasm

Posts: 321
Joined: 8/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ScottyDont

What if someone said you were more like a Sub?

Do you have to stop topping in scenes?

Honey,

I hate to break it to you, but if you are someone who feels like you have to do what someone says, and you find yourself not doing things in scenes because of what somenone says... than you a sub.

But just because you think like a sub doesn't mean you can't top, bottom or sideways... you get to do whatever feels good. And if it feels really good... you get to do it twice, with chocolate syrup.

A

< Message edited by fungasm -- 5/28/2008 9:21:05 PM >

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 5/29/2008 10:14:27 AM

Dmon

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Joined: 12/27/2007
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I think if I wasn't a switch anymore, I'd probably fall into the role most others tend to put me in. In that case, I think I find myself being more dominant, seeing as how my play partners always gravitate toward me for a safe space to cuddle. I'm a pretty big guy, and I got a gentle touch, so my partners often times, like to play the submissivly spoiled role. I literally attrack human pets.

I'd be a dominant.

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 5/30/2008 1:47:33 AM

LadySatara

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Joined: 4/20/2008
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I am submisive to sir, but if I am at the club and some guy starts saying that no woman can make him submit. I guarantee that within a short peroid of time I will have them on the floow begging for more. My domanit side will come out and I love to prove people wrong. ^_-

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 5/30/2008 3:34:31 AM

ViceVersa

Posts: 137
Joined: 11/29/2005
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"...still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest" - from The Boxer by Paul Simon

I think that's often the case with switches. Doms see the sub part, subs see the dom part and many don't understand the whole.

Vice

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 5/30/2008 12:13:08 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead
I had a dominant tell me I was just a submissive who likes to top, not a "true" switch. I had been wondering what the hell the difference is. The truth is that there is no difference!

There's a difference to me between topping and dominating. A sub who likes to top might not at all orient themselves as a switch.
--
Again, all orientations must be internal, and cannot be decided from anyone external.

I agree. Topping isn't necessarily Dominating.

I've basically laid out the differences between the most commonly talked about labels between dominanting/submitting and topping/bottoming...these are strictly my own definitions, and perhaps somewhat helpful to others.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1875196/tm.htm

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 6/3/2008 2:46:54 AM

tinytemptingone

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Like I could switch, from being a switch LOL. Sorry sick sense of humor here. I have to agree with popeye on this one: "I yam what I yam!"

tiny

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 6/3/2008 3:07:14 AM

Level

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Aine, what appears to be a link in your post isn't linking

My definitions:

top= one who plays the "dominant" role in doing a scene, usually for sexual gratification.

bottom= one who plays the "submissive" role in a scene, usually for sexual gratification.

dominant= one that enjoys exerting control in sexual AND non-sexual ways. Generally is more accepting of limits with their partner than a master is.

submissive= one that enjoys relinquishing control in sexual AND non-sexual ways. Generally has a larger area of limits than a slave would.

master= one that generally enjoys exerting their control into every aspect of their partner's life, seeking as few limits and as much ownership as possible.

slave= one that generally enjoys giving up control in every aspect of their life to their owner, working towards eliminating limits to their being owned.

switch= one of the cursed ones of kinkville. "Not genuine lifestylers; a game-playing, impure, confused, fence-straddling sort", some say. And those are the nicer ones. However, others see a switch as someone that enjoys or engages in dominance or topping and submission or bottoming.

Now, I don't believe in slaves, so to speak. I prefer the term slavish.

< Message edited by Level -- 6/3/2008 3:09:29 AM >

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Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 6/3/2008 4:22:06 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

switch= impure, confused

psssttt...Level...
You are listed as a switch

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 6/3/2008 5:00:00 PM

Level

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Yes, but I'm a dominant and pure one.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 6/3/2008 8:34:13 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Aine, what appears to be a link in your post isn't linking

My definitions:

top= one who plays the "dominant" role in doing a scene, usually for sexual gratification.

bottom= one who plays the "submissive" role in a scene, usually for sexual gratification.

dominant= one that enjoys exerting control in sexual AND non-sexual ways. Generally is more accepting of limits with their partner than a master is.

submissive= one that enjoys relinquishing control in sexual AND non-sexual ways. Generally has a larger area of limits than a slave would.

master= one that generally enjoys exerting their control into every aspect of their partner's life, seeking as few limits and as much ownership as possible.

slave= one that generally enjoys giving up control in every aspect of their life to their owner, working towards eliminating limits to their being owned.

switch= one of the cursed ones of kinkville. "Not genuine lifestylers; a game-playing, impure, confused, fence-straddling sort", some say. And those are the nicer ones. However, others see a switch as someone that enjoys or engages in dominance or topping and submission or bottoming.

Now, I don't believe in slaves, so to speak. I prefer the term slavish.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1875196/tm.htm

It's working for me, copy and paste into a new window

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 6/4/2008 5:11:48 AM

epiphany

Posts: 41
Joined: 12/31/2004
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Be who you are, and don't worry about what others say.

I am an owned switch. I have owned bopy's in the past, I enjoy both topping and bottoming...so I guess that makes me a switch from either the relationship aspect or the play aspect.

With my partner, I am a slave. He brings that out in me and that is just the dynamic in our relationship. However, he would never ask me to stop topping, he wants me to be content. It may even be, down the road, that I own again, a girl or boy. We are poly oriented.

He, on the other hand, is a switch in play only. In a relationship dynamic, he is completely dominant. And yes, I do sometimes top him, and that does not confuse me for an instant about who is in control. We are very clear on that, and have been for years.

Confused yet??? LOL. Many people who have met us are a bit, but that really doesn't matter. We are perfectly suited to each other.

d.epiphany

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