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toservez -> RE: Discussing Needs (4/14/2008 9:34:14 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam
Why would you be pursuing a Dominant who has a negative view of a core need? Going into a relationship hoping that your partner will change their mind is really a recipe for disaster. Sure, it can happen, but why gamble? Find someone who you KNOW can meet that need.
But, to answer your question, if they view it negatively, it's likely that any way you bring it up will not be a good way. So, I suggest, "(Insert preferred honorific), I feel that X is a need for me in a relationship. I know that I will need it. Can we discuss some way this need can be met by our relationship...or perhaps outside the relationship?" Go from there.
Master Fire
I think all the responses have been good ones but just quoted this as it was the closest to my thoughts.
Part of any relationship is having our needs and many strong desires met. It is one thing to confuse a need with a wish, want or simple preference but assuming it is an important need and the other is dismissive to it is an issue that can be big trouble.
It is one thing to not understand but to respect and communicate to reach hopefully a mutual solution it is another to be in fact dismissive and use the old you are this now accept it.
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