RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait?

RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (Full Version)

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GentleMistress5 -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (4/14/2008 5:18:54 PM)
whispering so not to intrude further on the thread Thanks, goodpet!

hopelessfool -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (4/14/2008 5:27:15 PM)
I send out a message to who ever catches my intrest or amuses me in some way shape or form. I seek always friends first, anything more gets you in trouble. Think of it, (OH its a tax time analogy) So January.. you get your w2... and you file it away till you get your tax forms to sit down and do them. Its now April such and such and your going to do your taxes and... OH... CRAP you cant find your w2... You search and search and search and search. Tear the house, office, everything apart.. and nothing. So you sit down on the couch your head in your hands going what am I going to do you relax watch tv for about an hour and O_O THERE it is. Right in front of you taped to the printer.. Moral, when you look, you can Never find it. When you stop looking it always pops up right in front of your face... If you have a problem with multiple messages just send out messages when you find someone interesting of those youve been chatting with to say look, this can only be friends I am working on building a relationship with someone I trust. Just my two cents.

Maya2001 -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (4/14/2008 7:18:55 PM)
Don't get so wound up in doing in one true way, you may be missing opportunities from those who have contacted you first, get to know several as friends and see where things lead, my more recent involvements are now with doms that I have started out with as pnline friends, so be the time we finally ended up meeting we had anywhere from 5 to 7 months of friendship but even once you meet you may still come to realize your not compatible as a couple but often the friendship can still remain. And using profile alone to screen a master to serve and commit to can prove very misleading , I have seen some profiles that were simply copies of word for word views that were expressed by another dom on D/s or M/s relationships here on collarchat that I highly respect , if I had not known the original author I might really be impressed by what I read, knowing that the dom simply stole the words and used as his profile as his personal views does not leave me with much respect for him as a result I want to get to know a whole lot more about the person first before ever telling them that I would wish to submit to them to see if what the say in their profile represents their actual views

Daddyslilpookie -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (4/14/2008 7:37:27 PM)
To the Op just take your time and don't rush things when you do meet. Do get to know each other and find out if they are right for you. I wish you the best of luck and you should find your Master soon enough[:)]

rbprat -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/28/2008 10:45:53 AM)
I would like to dicuss some things with for we maybe a good pair. I am looking for the one and only Mistress I so badly need.

CalifChick -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/28/2008 12:47:17 PM)
Well there ya go. Looks like the wait is five months. Cali

WyldHrt -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/28/2008 9:23:49 PM)
You beat me to it, Cali [sm=LMAO.gif]

DesFIP -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 5:24:03 AM)
I don't like opening emails to be expressions of forever. Honestly, if someone I never met wrote me saying he was panting at the idea of serving me, I'd run the other way. Write people and look to make friends. Write about something nonBDSM or sexual that they wrote in their profile, their journal or their posts. Be friends first and allow them to decide if they want you in a different way.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 5:34:08 AM)
I was going to say essentially what DesFIP did. If on an initial email you sound like you are ready to move to me, settle in and start a family... you are not going to get a response. No Dom wants instant commitment before you have even heard back from them. Why, simple, becasue your commitment isnt to THEM it is to their POSITION. You would be just as commited to any D that got the message, and they know it. Rather than trying to contact a dominant and serve them, why not look at it as contacting a person and getting to know them. Not all contacts turn into relationships that work in the D/s sense, but some turn into very useful and fulfilling friendships as well. Keep in mind how you would feel getting a message from someone on the other end of the whip that sounded as if they knew nothing about you, but didnt really need to to iclude you in their life. They could place anyone there, and the fit would be the same because the requirements are minimal and the interest level in the person filling them is low. Are you going to jump at that oppertunity, where youd be a fill in the blank slave? DV

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 6:15:57 AM)
first of all - calm down ...take a couple of breaths and relax. i got the impression after reading your op you're in a rush to nab that lucky dominant and obtain the collar. your impatience is getting the best of you - slow down. it's a fierce competition out there garnering their attention. start with one or two instead of a slate of many. if they don't answer right away, don't take it as a bad sign either. they're probably busy with private lives ie work, hobbies, etc. lastly make friends instead of seeking an instant relationship. good luck

Subductrssss -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 7:01:09 AM)
I very rarely post hellos to Dominats, not because I think that "They" must come to me, but more in the submissive vein of it is not my place to send mail first (I know weird huh? LOL) but if I were to do so, it would be along the throw as many out there as I like and then see who responds back and take it from there. As many have said, until a bond is established and you and He/She are moving forward, you have no monogamous relationship and do not owe any your singular loyalty. Good luck to us both I say ((((((((((Huggles))))))))))))

antipode -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 7:46:44 AM)
And here I was thinking that women were good at multitasking... [;)]

CalifChick -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 8:56:57 AM)
You guys are killing me. [sm=rofl.gif] Does someone want to round up the OP and find out if they're still waiting?? Cali

lally3 -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 11:00:01 AM)
When I do, I purposefully message only one Dom at a time, so that I don't get into a situation of having asked one only to later tell him that I've started to correspond with someone else. i used to do this too. it felt wrong to be in contact with half a dozen guys at once. im sure i prolly missed out on a few decent possibilities in the process. fact is: of the ones you meet online only a small proportion of them will you meet in real time. then you come up against the 'chemistry goblin' who thinks its freakin' funny to get you all excited about a guy only to find he has the pesonal hygiene of a dung beetle or he's 20 years older than his pic or .... well the list is inexhaustible. (and yes i know D's have the same probs). it feels like your knowingly lining them up and working through a list of 'Yes' 'No' and 'Hell No' options. well yup, it is that pragmatic.

subeos -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 7:56:31 PM)
Personally, I think for me there is a lot of fun in seeing who will respond or not. I do not see it as a game, but I do not sweat it either. Have patience, be calm get to know others on here. I desire a Dom, but I also know I am not going to get it " right now." Just make it more of an adventure with serious implications. But don't fuss over it. slave eos ~To Thine Own Self Be True~

HalfShyHalfWild -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 9:15:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark My advice is to stop looking for a dominant and start forming relationships with many people. the.dark. OP, I hope you listen to this advice. I was pretty much the same as you though I didn't wait till they responded but would only talk with just one at a time. Trust me, don't do that lol. Wish I had asked this 3 years ago and had the the.dark giving me this advice! You're way ahead of some of us now! [:D]

WyldHrt -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 9:25:01 PM)
The thread is 5 months old, HSHW. If the OP didn't take Dark's advice then, he prolly won't come back to do so now, either.[;)]

HalfShyHalfWild -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/29/2008 9:28:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt The thread is 5 months old, HSHW. If the OP didn't take Dark's advice then, he prolly won't come back to do so now, either.[;)] DOH!!! I didn't look at the beginning time frame of it. I swear I didn't revive it though lol! Was on top when I came. Well anyways, I hope they did. I wish people would come back and update sometimes [:D]

lilpetuk -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/30/2008 8:57:02 AM)
some wonderful advice from everyone, as a sub even if i don't post a specific question there always appears to be a similar one asked anyway on here. To the op...i'm waiting for my nilla ice-cream to go away too .. good luck in all you seek

akisha -> RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? (9/30/2008 1:55:29 PM)
~FR~ You wait for as long as it takes. You live, have experiences and one day you'll find the right match for you. But unless you're willing to try out different people you'll never know the right one when you meet him. I'm 34 and i'm i met my current Master on here in October 2007, but we didn't actually start talking seriously till January 2008. My Dom before that I met on here in 2006. There is no set time schedule, life happens when it happens you rarely can plan for it. I had no intention of getting involved with anyone when i met Allen, obviously the cosmos had other ideas hehe. Oh well, worked out for me.

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