|
RumpusParable -> RE: Are married couples more committed? (4/15/2008 2:32:36 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Hiswifeon7707
i wonder what the divorce rate is for the bdsm community? guess they dont keep those stats.
being married does cloak me with a deep sense of security and the belief we will work through all problems.
Personally, I'd put in that the divorce rate, marriage, etc have zero indication of any one couple's, let alone trying to stretch it to apply in general to all couples, commitment level. Nor would I say that commitment is a good measure of the quality, security, honesty, supportiveness or other positive values in a relationship... many are committed to a relationship/person when that fact is absolutely nothing but a *bad* thing.
Directly on the topic, there's really no way to answer the title question... let alone the OP question... no one goes around polling every single person in every sort of relationship about commitment, what it means to them, why they are committed to someone(s), if they're currently committed, how long they've been committed, etc. And then by whose standards would such a poll be measured?
If it's by someone who views a divorce as an indication that one or both weren't committed, then we've skewed results based on the measurer's preconceptions. If it's by someone who views marriage as an indication of commitment, there again. Or someone who views only monogamous relationships... Or only certain types of poly... Or only after the two have been together for a certain, arbitrary, length of time... Or only if they've had, or plan to have, children... Or...
Then, are the pollers going to look for commitment, purely and alone, or are they going to weed out the unhealthy commitments and only try to measure the healthy ones. Try to judge from the outside and from what little data they get how many are staying "for the children" really? Or out of guilt for past relationships they've ended? Or out of guilt for something they've done in this relationship? Or a wish not to be divorced? Or because there is an abusive dynamic behind the scenes they didn't disclose to the pollers (as either the one abusing or being abused)? Dependancy or co-dependancy in relation to a drug or other self-destructive habit? Financial dependence? A fear of never being loved/in a committed relationship again? And so on...
Impossible! It' something that really can't be known.
At best, all I can answer is that so far those who are "kinky", "into BDSM", "lifestyle", etc are all just regular everyday folks with nothing special about them in my experience. Same with their relationships: same old, same old. I've not so far seen any special difference that would lead me to suppose any more likelyhood toward commitment, healthy or no, to their partner(s).
|
|
|
|
