1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance

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1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/9/2005 8:56:39 PM

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline

sorry, i'm just feeling a little bit discouraged about the fact that it's my first day on the site and about 20 of the 30 or so emails (today) i have recieved are from married men/

i'm not coming down on anyone or trying to judge anyone else, really- it's just not what i am interested in. i mean at least they are honest about it (on this venue anyway) but
are these really the %s we're working with here?

maybe i'm just being a little pessimistic? but would appreciate honest options from some people that have been here a long time. . . thanks!

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/9/2005 8:57:40 PM

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

BDSM is no different from real life. Fresh meat always gets loads of attention, mostly worthless.

Just be yourself, or be an indepentent mature responsible adult as much as you can be. You'll be fine if you use good judgement.

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/9/2005 9:02:13 PM

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline

thanks, you're right- it's probably because it's just my first day

bound to get better

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/9/2005 9:06:19 PM

Posts: 19
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

Welcome! I joined about 3 days ago, and am happy I did so.

Just a word of advice. Be prepared for messages. Lots of them. I probably got over 100. Some were genuinely nice; welcoming me and seeking friendship...many even offered friendly guidance and advice. However, most of them were just offers...

Be wary, and don't be afraid to be picky. That is one of the first things I learned on here. There are all types here...some good, some bad. Like it was said before, trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Don't jump into anything. Learn as much as you can before making any decision.

Good luck, and be safe!

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/9/2005 9:16:01 PM

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

Welcome to CM and the forums. First of all, try not to let the sheer numbers overwhelm you (wow, did i change that one nicely, from don't let the uhmmm..grind ya down...lol) Now, i never received the sheer numbers of email that you are, but a few tips, if you don't mind.

My first suggestion is that if the people who write you can't read your profile (which is still pending, btw) than don't feel obligated to write them back..I figure if they can't read my profile well enough to know I'm not interested in the attached variety, any response I might have isn't worth the paper it's written on..<g>. Secondly, if they do actually read it, so many times what ya get back is an argumentative, whiney, and/or intimidating response so they can change your mind. Those i usually put on ignore..saves "ink", don'tcha know..lol

On the positive side of things, you'll meet a bunch of great people here -- I tend to sit in the back ground a little more than some (and less than maybe I should..lol) to hear what they have to say, come to my own conclusions, and then act on em. The really best thing I can offer is to suggest that you take it slowly, read something 2 or 3 times, meet in public if you decide to do that, and use the common sense our Higher Power gives to us..and if all else fails.. come ask the forums...people here are always willing to offer an opinion or two,...lol...

good luck and hugs..

jimini

PS please feel free to write me if ya need :)

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/9/2005 9:17:57 PM

Posts: 579
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline

May i suggest that on your profile you specify what you are or aren't looking for. If you aren't sure what you are looking for i'm sure you know some of the things you aren't looking for. That might help weed out some of the ones you don't want although it's not a cure for the hng's unfortunately.

(in reply to Veritasluxmea)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/9/2005 9:22:48 PM

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline

thank you guys- good advice and i will definitely remember it

i did actually change my profile (to be a little more explicit about what i don't want) and maybe that's why it's still pending?

anyway, i do hope to make some good friends here as well, and that is actually one of the reasons i joined! so thanks for the support

i feel little better now

(in reply to greenie)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/10/2005 12:19:34 AM

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

Maybe they're all hitting you up first to get first dibs in case you're into married, especially the ones lying to wives/cheating, because they have it tough.
Welcome to the boards; you will eventually start to get much more email from single people you don't want either, lol.

M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/10/2005 12:39:39 AM

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

You gotta dig though a lot of messy blue clay to find a diamond. Fortunately the diamonds are worth the work.

Good luck and practice laughing a lot

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/10/2005 1:36:20 AM

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

i've only been coming to the message board for a couple of weeks. The discussions are wonderful and the support is, in my humble opinion, truly fantastic.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/10/2005 6:10:45 AM

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Well i cannot add to the good advice you got. Just wanted to welcome you to the mesage board hope to hear more from you.

littleone

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/10/2005 6:47:38 AM

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello There,
Don't be discouraged. Like they say "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince." Just stick to your guns and you'll find someone who has the same ideals as you. If it isn't comfortable for you just keep fishing hon.
It took me about three months to get through the guys who I think write every one of us when we first join. Eventually you only get a few of them a week instead of so many every day.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/10/2005 7:30:53 AM

perfection20005

Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

Just give it time. You will have to sort through a lot of emails to find someone who is right for you. Don't let it get you down. Your someone is out there somewhere!! Good luck.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/10/2005 7:41:41 PM

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

oy...the form letters!!

It drives me nuts that P/people don't read the profile, and then send those ridiculous form letters. i know it isn't fun, but you're not alone. Most of us received the mass amounts of emails, and as everyone has advised when you're able to shift through the mass amounts of junk emails you find some really quality people. i agree that if it is a form letter, or a letter that is obvious they didn't read your profile at all just delete...don't even worry about responding. i've also found it is interesting to meet people off of the message boards...you can kind of get an idea of S/someone's thoughts/desires, and often those that take the time to write well-thought out posts are a little more serious (*** PLEASE take this with common sense...obviously i'm not trying to say that anyone who can write a post on the boards is a quality person or true Master). Best of luck, and welcome. i know it can be overwhelming, but many of us here met our Masters online (myself included *big grin*).

(in reply to perfection20005)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/10/2005 8:22:14 PM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

Remember block and delete are your friends

Sincerely andie and her Master Hal

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/11/2005 9:54:59 PM

Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Hi Cherrygrl. Welcome to the group. You have to have plenty of patients in the group, but it is well worth it. Just hang in there, and I am sure it will all work out for you in the end....well it all DEPENDS on which END too...LMCLAO

Hang in there Black Kitty, BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/12/2005 3:53:16 AM

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline

LEMME TRY TO PRESENT THE OHTER SIDE OF HTIS

YALL ARE MUCH TO HARD ON THE FORM EMALERS. I MEAN WHAT ELES CAN YASS DO WHEN YOUR AN ONLINE DOM? NOWAY I CNA SIT DOWN AND RIGHT A NEW LETER FOR EACH FRICKIN PRESON.

_____________________________

LRODANDMASTER TYPE LIKE DUMASS BUT HIM NO DUMASS

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/12/2005 11:22:11 AM

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline

Why do I get a sense of deja vu when reading this thread? It is a sad and most unfortunate fact on the site that there are many many fakes, players, and very misguided souls who are here to simply run game and try to get laid.

However, there are some very good and very real people on here, both Dom and submissive alike. The good ones are not as plentiful, and do not usually go out of their way to see how many people they can email in one day. Just take your time looking, and the right one will come along. Be choosey, be careful, and most of all...always be real.

Best wishes on your search!

_____________________________

Love is a razor & I walk the line on that silver blade... slept in the dust with His daughter her eyes red with the slaughter of innocence... The evil that men do lives on & on.
~ Iron Maiden

(in reply to cherrygrl)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/12/2005 12:52:58 PM

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

LEMME TRY TO PRESENT THE OHTER SIDE OF HTIS

YALL ARE MUCH TO HARD ON THE FORM EMALERS. I MEAN WHAT ELES CAN YASS DO WHEN YOUR AN ONLINE DOM? NOWAY I CNA SIT DOWN AND RIGHT A NEW LETER FOR EACH FRICKIN PRESON.

Hello There,
Wow, you admit here in a public arena you're too lazy to write a personal hello note to someone you're interested in. That's just terribly sad and funny all at once.
Do you have spanking machines to spank your subs for you too?
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to LRODANDMASTER)

RE: 1rst day on collarme- need a lil reasurance - 10/13/2005 7:22:03 PM

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

welcome and remember that men are like lottery tickets,you have to scratch alot of losers before you get a winner.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cherrygrl

sorry, i'm just feeling a little bit discouraged about the fact that it's my first day on the site and about 20 of the 30 or so emails (today) i have recieved are from married men/

i'm not coming down on anyone or trying to judge anyone else, really- it's just not what i am interested in. i mean at least they are honest about it (on this venue anyway) but
are these really the %s we're working with here?

maybe i'm just being a little pessimistic? but would appreciate honest options from some people that have been here a long time. . . thanks!

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to cherrygrl)

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