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RE: being afraid =( - 4/19/2008 8:42:00 PM

katie978

Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mssinnocent

i know what ur saying but i cannot give ppl anyform of respect i call everyone dude duddet buddeh until i know them its not disrespect its just my age =/

   Um...I'd appreciate if you'd leave off the "...its just my age...” We get enough people on the forums disrespecting young people into the "lifestyle". I'm relatively young, and have never called anyone "buddeh" under any circumstances. EVER. Your own particularly grammatical problems have nothing to do with your age, and neither does your disrespect.

    I've also never disrespected anyone on the forum who hadn't been being completely ridiculous...Ex was offering some legitimate advice I'm going to reiterate.

    You are afraid that people will recognize you and be all domly and evil. If you're worried about this- how about taking down the video? Hmm? That way the disrespectful idiots who've been messaging you won't be able to know what you look like. You can share the video with doms who have proven themselves to be trustworthy.

     Of course, it had never really crossed my mind when I share my picture that the people who have seen it would call me kinky in inappropriate circumstances. Perhaps that's your fantasy (big, handsome Dom taking you down behind the supermarket when you're buying groceries with your mom), but I don't think just putting a video on Collarme's going to do it.

   Good luck, "duddet"....whatever the heck that it.

{Remembered this time not to post as my dom...d'oh}

(in reply to mssinnocent)

Post #: 41

RE: being afraid =( - 4/19/2008 9:18:37 PM

RchmdServiceNeed

Posts: 36
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline

Wow.

Way to go everyone --- Take a Totally new person, trying to learn, asking a legitimate question and PICK ON THEM FOR EVERYTHING UNDER THE G*D DAMN SUN. NICE........

Seriously, she is 18.

*18****** --- How many of you talk with an 18 year old on a daily basis?

Can we all generally agree she is sincere enough to be given the bennefit of the doubt?????? At a minimum. P-lease.

She asked a question essentially about how to be safe meeting people because it was new to her and what is worrysome, what is not and was essentially asking for a little guidence and *encouragement*.

Instead, what she got was long angry texts from men judging her a "baby" and "lost little girl" --- Not Exactly the moSt encouraging/understanding response that makes you want to rush out and meet someone, huh?

She also got Judgements about her speach style, accuzations about being "disrespectful" which honestly had nothing to do with the topic, nor was she being disrespectful, a total discussion about her profile, questioning her motives, what she was looking for, accusations that the "itch in her pants" would insight her to act foolish and disrespectful (P-LEASE GET A LIFE ON THAT ONE!!!!) , Assuming she is disrespectful because she wants people to earn her respect -- ?? that is not exactly a new concept so why the big ol debate???..... everything she said was picked apart and scrutinized isntead of looking at the meaning behind it, and then to top it off little miss Katie saying she can't say it's her age because she thinks it will imapct her ---- News flash: She didn't say EVERY young person talks like that. She didn't say YOU talk like that. She said SHE talks like that and others near her, near her age do. So what the hell does that have to do with you? She also didn't invite or insiuate anyone should treat her, you, or people younger badly because of it and the truth is ---- THAT'S HER OPPINION/REASON. So she can say it if she wants to, especially since for her and her life, it is true. It has NOTHING to do with you. Or anyone else your age, she was very very clearly speaking FOR herself ABOUT herself.

Everything she has said in thread posts and profile have been Picked apart with very little reguard to her feelings, making her feel like she is in a safe/good environment, that people are really listening to her, or actual EFFORT to UNDERSTAND what she is saying and comming from --- Rather than just having your own little rants and things to blog about to make yourselves feel important.

SHAME ON YOU FOR PICKING ON A 18 YEAR OLD THAT SINCERELY ASKED FOR YOUR HELP.

What if this were *YOUR* daughter?

............. Is that the type of raction you would want............. or give?

Please everyone: Lets make an effort to get over the obvious restraints of email/post/typing to express feelings and thoughts. I think anyone with 1/2 a brain, if looking at the MEANING of her words, not just their own hangups and sopa boxes, could have seen she was sincere and what she was asking for.

And it had nothing to do with what 70% of the people here posted --- or Rather were Mean about.

18. Sincere. New. and Nervous.

If you can't be nice to That, what the hell are you waiting for??

< Message edited by RchmdServiceNeed -- 4/19/2008 9:26:50 PM >

(in reply to katie978)

Post #: 42

RE: being afraid =( - 4/19/2008 10:25:35 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Nice to see the Knight Dom Saveaho still out and about.

Dude, that's not nearly the entirety of responses she got- so stop trying to do what you are pissed at people for doing (treat her like a gentle delicate idiot) and make her make up her own mind and judgements. This is what the real world will be like, specially if she hangs out here. She can either enjoy it and learn to navigate the waters, she can say it's not for her and find better places, or she can go whine and cry on cyber shoulders about what big meanies we are.

But try reading ALL the responses before letting that need to protect thing loose.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RchmdServiceNeed)

Post #: 43

RE: being afraid =( - 4/19/2008 10:39:10 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

I don't know if this forum is the right place to ask that question - asking other subs might be more helpful. Bit I can give you my thoughts - yes, I think that is very normal. I'd take a good friend, if I were you, even if only to sit the other end of the restaurant keeping an eye, make sure somebody calls you sometime during that meet, so the person knows somebody looks out for you.

It'll always be scary, meeting someone new - inviting a new sub into my home is scary too, the boyfriend could conceivably turn up, uninvited, in the middle of the night.

I have to tell you that there is one thing I never do - see someone from my immediate neighbourhood, my town, my circle of friends. Even if you feel you must see someone in your neighbourhood, meet them a couple of towns away. If the person is a freak, and they do go to the same supermarket, that would not be fun. So mind how you go, and be safe, there are lots of precautions you can take to make as sure as possible. Rule #1: if it doesn't feel good, forget it. Plenty of fish in the sea.

(in reply to mssinnocent)

Post #: 44

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 12:47:48 AM

DarkVictory

Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline

Yanno... how is this any different than dating? What's so scary?

The OP is acting like if she accidentally meets someone that something is going to happen to 'make' her go real-time with this person. Then other people chime in with tips on how to avoid meeting someone. What's the issue? Ever go on a date? Ever meet someone in the supermarket that you asked out or slept with once? Sure, it can be a little odd, but it's not that big a deal.

Sure, the OP is 18 and nervous. I remember being nervous about just plain old dating people. So? If she meets someone from here or from a munch, and she doesn't like him/her... do what any 18 yr old would do... blow them off.

The bit that gets me is the number of threads, posts, comments, etc here, other sites... in which submissives express these odd fears about meeting someone. BDSM practitioners are not serial killers. We're not rapists. We're not baby killers.

We're *normal* people with a kink. Sure, some are socially inept, but so are morons in a bar or at a coffee shop. Get over it. Yes, being put in bondage requires a lot of trust. Meeting someone at Denny's for coffee and a chat doesn't.

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 45

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 1:29:57 AM

TJsCheekypet

Posts: 109
Joined: 4/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Constrictor1

Sorry to be the butthead here but I feel a visit from the drama llama on this one.

Constrictor1

Kill that Llama...beat its ass i say! (yeah i know the lil pic is a horse but...ya know!)

As for the 'respect' issue, ive always lived by knowing its a two way thing, you show me yours, i'll show you mine.....

blah!-just my 2Cents!

_____________________________

my words are just my two cents, my opinions. Not words to live by & not set in stone.

previously known as 'blissy'/now Sir T.J's pet

(in reply to Constrictor1)

Post #: 46

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 2:06:27 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I admit that I didn't read the thread, but the title caught My eye.

Remember that courage is not an absence of fear, but the actions taken in spite of it.

My best thoughts to you.

LP

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to mssinnocent)

Post #: 47

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 2:12:45 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

*18****** --- How many of you talk with an 18 year old on a daily basis?

I do and did. I met my submissive when he was 18 years old. He is now 21. He would never call anyone a dude, dudette, bubble head blah blah blah..I agree Katie978 about this. Young people get bad vibes because of their age, and here is one who is purposefully sending out disrespectful comments. You get treated as you treat others.

LA, this is the first thread *I* have seen you use the word "dude" lol well, I suppose it fits.

Rchmdserviceneed,
Good god, where did you fly in from? It seems to me you need to get thicker skin than the OP. Did she ask you to come here and fight her battles? I don't think so, so you are just as bad as the rest of us. You assume because she is young, she is stupid. I don't see her that way. I see her as a young girl who is really mixed up. What were you hoping to gain from your knight in shining Armour act? Ten to One, you won't get it. So calm your ass down and read ALL of the responses instead of picking the ones to help serve your defense.

MoGa

_____________________________

(in reply to RchmdServiceNeed)

Post #: 48

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 2:17:19 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
Let me take a poke in the dark here - that if you've got kids, they're all males!?!?!

Not that I think it is relivant... as I see to much 'chicken little', scare mongering... rather than rational caution from folks, usualy American but apparently also Auzzies too.

But yep..... good guess

Not relevant yet such a "good guess"? Maybe if you'd actually raised a daughter you wouldn't be so quick to naively generalise about "scaremongering"....

Hmmm, not that most mature adults have to raise a daughter to appreciate the difference in the world of dating - esp about which gender tends to pressure which the most often. Then we add BDSM to the mix and consider who (Dom or sub) tends to pressure who and some of us get a little insight into why a teenage fem/sub is a little nervous or scared of the relatively unknown....

Yeah, "no big deal" alright....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 49

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 2:27:29 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

I would suggest everyone just calm down ...because since she posted this yesterday she has found herself a Dom within the same day(was going to respond yesterday but changed my mind when I read her profile) and she is no longer searching .....It seems she got over her fears really fast or somebody here who read her post was able to convince he is a safe sane dom and he would protect her... who knows

but continuing this thread now is pretty pointless

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 50

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 2:34:49 AM

TJsCheekypet

Posts: 109
Joined: 4/18/2008
Status: offline

lol well she coulda said! sheeesh (im kidding-well kinda)

_____________________________

my words are just my two cents, my opinions. Not words to live by & not set in stone.

previously known as 'blissy'/now Sir T.J's pet

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 51

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 4:41:26 AM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RchmdServiceNeed

Wow.

Way to go everyone --- Take a Totally new person, trying to learn, asking a legitimate question and PICK ON THEM FOR EVERYTHING UNDER THE G*D DAMN SUN. NICE........

Seriously, she is 18.

*18****** --- How many of you talk with an 18 year old on a daily basis?

Can we all generally agree she is sincere enough to be given the bennefit of the doubt?????? At a minimum. P-lease.

She asked a question essentially about how to be safe meeting people because it was new to her and what is worrysome, what is not and was essentially asking for a little guidence and *encouragement*.

Instead, what she got was long angry texts from men judging her a "baby" and "lost little girl" --- Not Exactly the moSt encouraging/understanding response that makes you want to rush out and meet someone, huh?

She also got Judgements about her speach style, accuzations about being "disrespectful" which honestly had nothing to do with the topic, nor was she being disrespectful, a total discussion about her profile, questioning her motives, what she was looking for, accusations that the "itch in her pants" would insight her to act foolish and disrespectful (P-LEASE GET A LIFE ON THAT ONE!!!!) , Assuming she is disrespectful because she wants people to earn her respect -- ?? that is not exactly a new concept so why the big ol debate???..... everything she said was picked apart and scrutinized isntead of looking at the meaning behind it, and then to top it off little miss Katie saying she can't say it's her age because she thinks it will imapct her ---- News flash: She didn't say EVERY young person talks like that. She didn't say YOU talk like that. She said SHE talks like that and others near her, near her age do. So what the hell does that have to do with you? She also didn't invite or insiuate anyone should treat her, you, or people younger badly because of it and the truth is ---- THAT'S HER OPPINION/REASON. So she can say it if she wants to, especially since for her and her life, it is true. It has NOTHING to do with you. Or anyone else your age, she was very very clearly speaking FOR herself ABOUT herself.

Everything she has said in thread posts and profile have been Picked apart with very little reguard to her feelings, making her feel like she is in a safe/good environment, that people are really listening to her, or actual EFFORT to UNDERSTAND what she is saying and comming from --- Rather than just having your own little rants and things to blog about to make yourselves feel important.

SHAME ON YOU FOR PICKING ON A 18 YEAR OLD THAT SINCERELY ASKED FOR YOUR HELP.

What if this were *YOUR* daughter?

............. Is that the type of raction you would want............. or give?

Please everyone: Lets make an effort to get over the obvious restraints of email/post/typing to express feelings and thoughts. I think anyone with 1/2 a brain, if looking at the MEANING of her words, not just their own hangups and sopa boxes, could have seen she was sincere and what she was asking for.

And it had nothing to do with what 70% of the people here posted --- or Rather were Mean about.

18. Sincere. New. and Nervous.

If you can't be nice to That, what the hell are you waiting for??

Feel any better Rchmd? now that you have gotten that little trantrum out of the way...

Amidst all your ranting and shaming those of us who did try to help her with perspective and suggestions>> I didn't see any from you. What would you tell her to do? What is it that you can bring from you personal experiences that might help her ?

Can you relate to her position as submissive, trying to differentiate between the genuine people and the people who slap a label on themselves that puts them in the role of being the one in control, but who truly has no idea how to even control THEMSELVES...let alone someone elses submission.?

What do you want to tell her to do with those fears?

Do you generally yell and degrade as a way to communicate your thoughts and feelings??or were you just having a bad day when you posted this????

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to RchmdServiceNeed)

Post #: 52

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 8:52:31 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Hey Cap'n-save-a-sub,

If she were my daughter she wouldn't be pulling this shit in the first place. I raise my children to never do ANYTHING half assed, If they aren't sure then DON'T DO IT TILL YOU ARE!!!!

I applied this practice to my life as well.

I may have fallen and Stumbled MANY MANY TIMES but one thing is for sure I only made the big mistakes ONCE cause when I screwed up I ALWAYS only had my own actions to blame.

I see you want to mention her age and how that is a BIG deal. It isn't. I was 16 when I got involved in this lifestyle ACTIVELY. Did I get in over my head? ABSOLUTELY but each time I learned how to HANDLE myself and the situation.

I know that I have appologised for being a little harsh on the girl but the fact still remains THIS IS NOT A GAME! In this lifestyle there are RISKS that are taken, Either you can accept and live with those risks or you will just become another statistic.

She has done ALL THE RIGHT THINGS. She took off the Video. Changed the Picture to hide her face and she had made her profile ...... well More clear than it was.

All we can do now is go ..... let her find out what the real world is like. I doubt the life she knows now will be the same in 365.

Op, seriously I am sure you think I am a dick, but understand that Bad things happen to Good people all the time, all you can do is know the risk and move accordingly.

You did good, Now just realize that not everyone is out to hurt or get you and realize that if you are meeting people who are out to get you then you need to change the kinds of guys you talk with.

Steel.

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to TysGalilah)

Post #: 53

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 8:55:45 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
LA, this is the first thread *I* have seen you use the word "dude" lol well, I suppose it fits.

lol
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1143302/mpage_1/key_dude/tm.htm#1143712

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1153656/mpage_1/key_dude/tm.htm#1154197

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1363889/mpage_2/key_dude/tm.htm#1365417

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1365725/mpage_3/key_dude/tm.htm#1366766

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1373308/mpage_6/key_dude/tm.htm#1374747

http://www.collarchat.com/m_95565/mpage_2/key_dude/tm.htm#97676

http://www.collarchat.com/m_115110/mpage_1/key_dude/tm.htm#115114

http://www.collarchat.com/m_134742/mpage_1/key_dude/tm.htm#134911

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 54

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 11:08:26 AM

mssinnocent

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline

oh my god!
wth happened to a simple question?!
whatever i found a person that i want to talk to more, i dont want to meet him yet b/c im not ready but ill be working on that as for RchmdServiceNeed THANK YOU. im cant believe how many ppl just flat out attacked me for no reason. Thanks for everyone that did try to give me some advice and the others that just didnt idc its all good =)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 55

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 12:31:50 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

when people say "it's all good"....what exactly are they saying? what is "it"? Does it really translate to " I would say something really witty ...but I can't think of anything"?

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to mssinnocent)

Post #: 56

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 12:45:16 PM

mssinnocent

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline

no it means "its all good" this discustion is over, b/c theres no point in arguing and blah blah blah so everyone just chillax and know that "its all good"
duh =)

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 57

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 1:51:40 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

wtf is a chillax??? and what does blah blah blah really mean? Words make up the English language. You should really try to get a good grasp of their usage.

BTW...using made-up words does NOT make you appear to be cool.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to mssinnocent)

Post #: 58

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 3:14:27 PM

mssinnocent

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline

chillax isnt made up... wow like seriously you need to loosen up and if i was trying to sound cool or "hip" there are much better words i could use =)

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 59

RE: being afraid =( - 4/20/2008 3:43:58 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Look all due respect (Actually more respect then is due)

You sound like a 12 year old. I deal with 18year olds daily and truth be told you are showing your maturity NOT your age, because I know many 18 year olds who are more mature.

Rather than taking offense to what is being said why not try to understand WHAT they are actually saying

So that you know, I believe in giving people a shot. Your question caught me at a BAD time and because of that I was more rude than I should have been however you now have a BUNH of people all telling you pretty much the same thing..... THINK ABOUT THAT!!!!!

Are you going to take the one person who came to rescue you but offered no Actual advice? Or listen to the people who have told you like it is and are seriously trying to get you to see the real world.

As Always

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to mssinnocent)

Post #: 60

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