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Bipolar 2 and relationships - 4/20/2008 8:46:53 AM

Aneirin

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From: Tamaris
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Unfortunately, I have bipolar 2, an excuse to some, but very real to me,which means on occaision I am told I experience mania, which to me is happiness, direction and full of life, something I love in myself.
Then there are the lows that make life feel not worth living, but the medication when I remember it stops things going too far, that and friends who watch the mood.
Then there are the in betweens which is just existence, but even there the mood fluctuates with feelings, feelings I cannot control.
But I know I am and I do feel an unecessary burden to my friends, why should I put them through the anguishes I do

So relationships I have avoided, getting too close scares me, I see a bond forming, I often actively repel.
But I want to get close to someone, I so need closeness but I am scared to do so, for I fear true thought is not of my ability, maybe it is the 'excuse' makes me incapable of true feeling and thought,I am scared to let my guard down and so just resign myself to existence, not living.

Any thoughts that might help achieve a better understanding ?

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

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RE: Bipolar 2 and relationships - 4/20/2008 8:51:12 AM

DiurnalVampire

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From: Nashville, TN
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You dont need a better understanding, you need a better outlook. Bipolar is not the end of the world, unless of course you let it be. The moods are difficult, but not impossible to get a handle on. I have been doing it for years and without the added aside of medication. You need to be able to discuss the issue with a partner, and a friend, but you dont need to necessarly dump everything you go through on them. You also do not benefit by wrapping yourself in a self-made coccoon and ceasing to exist. Them, you have nothing to do but concentrate on the bipolar swings and see thembut you never learn to deal with them when you are around others. The ability to cope is the key, not the ability to see or feel.

DV

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RE: Bipolar 2 and relationships - 4/20/2008 9:22:59 AM

Aneirin

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From: Tamaris
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I thank you for your thoughts DV

But how can one learn to cope when one is stuck with themself ?

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

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RE: Bipolar 2 and relationships - 4/20/2008 11:18:02 AM

bipolarber

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The first step in avoiding a trap, or a problem, is knowing of it's existence.

You are aware of what's happening to yourself. Keep those close to you in the loop. Tell them what to expect, and what to pay attention to, and what not to feel hurt by. In this case, it IS all about you.

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RE: Bipolar 2 and relationships - 4/20/2008 8:22:44 PM

midgetmafiosa

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From: Maine, and SLC, UT
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i went through a long phase of trying to understand how my moods and bipolar fit into my life before ultimately coming to the conclusion that it's just another facet of life. I often liken it for other people to diabetes. It is what it is, you do your best to keep it under control and yourself healthy. I tell people that I am getting involved with that I am bipolar. I don't make a big deal of it. The initial reaction I get tells me a lot about the character of the person I'm dealing with. If they flinch or feel uncomfortable, I say thanks but no. If they are just as nonchalant about it as I am, usually they will be there for me when the (inevitable) need arises. That goes a long way in establishing trust for me. No secrets. Ever.

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RE: Bipolar 2 and relationships - 4/20/2008 9:30:15 PM

MissAngelandsub

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It was hard for me to beleive someone could love me while me being bi-polar just because I can be a total bitch at times. I know how you feel in trying to get close to someone. It helps to have someone there to talk to about what is going on in your mind, it helps knowing someone is there that cares for you no matter what your mood is. The trick is finding someone that knows about bi-polar or cares enough about you to research it and find out for them selves about it.

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RE: Bipolar 2 and relationships - 4/21/2008 3:12:38 AM

Aneirin

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From: Tamaris
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Thankyou, The only problem I have found with that, is the fact that I am stigmatised with being mentally ill, therefore to others ,I do not know my own mind. I know they love and care and thinking solely about me, but it so hurts when I am because of the condition said to be unstable and sometimes, perhaps a danger to me.

Perhaps it is right that I forget the kink, but I tried for ten years of marriage to do that, as you know, it is in you, it will never go,the need to adventure and quest and find the answers your soul seeks.

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

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RE: Bipolar 2 and relationships - 4/21/2008 4:12:05 AM

bookworm966

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I think what bothers me most about what others think about the disorder is they see us all as totally unstable. Sure, there are extremes in behavior and mood, even while taking the proper medications. But a great many of us are productive caring members of society, doing the same things 'normal' people do. We arent out there spending all our money, screwing everything that moves, and then balling up in a corner to weep for days at the time. We work full time jobs, raise children, and manage our time and resources well. The key to successfully managing the disorder is NOT to try it alone. Build up your network of friends and family that understand and use them when needed. Just dont fall in the trap of leaning on them too much or they, too, will eventually drift away. Being bipolar isnt the first thing I tell someone about me. I give them a chance to get to know me and then when I feel its time to share that knowledge, I do. I dont hide the fact that I have an illness. But I wouldnt start out a conversation with 'Hi, nice to meet you, I have hypertension, or diabetes, or any other medically managed problem'.

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RE: Bipolar 2 and relationships - 4/22/2008 12:09:26 AM

Vendaval

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Accept the reality of your situation and work on managing the disease and the consequences through therapy and medication. Stay honest with yourself and your loved ones. Do not focus on the disease. The disease is not you and it is not your life. Live your life and follow your heart.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

But how can one learn to cope when one is stuck with themself ?

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"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

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RE: Bipolar 2 and relationships - 4/23/2008 5:32:11 AM

DesFIP

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You need to take your medication every day at the same time, set your cell phone as an alarm. Carry spare meds in your car in case you forget at home. There is no excuse to not take them.

Beyond that, therapy. Yes you need it as well.

As far as relationships? My oldest is Type II, mixed states, ultra high cycling. She had her first relationship this year. Was it the love of her life? By no means. But she has time for that. It was fun, he's a good guy, and they're still friends. All of which makes it a positive experience.

Don't go into a relationship expecting true love and devotion. Do go in expecting to be respected and respectful, and to have an overall positive experience.

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