a Master's Mentor - a submissive?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

a Master's Mentor - a submissive?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> a Master's Mentor - a submissive?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

a Master's Mentor - a submissive? - 7/20/2004 9:19:56 AM

sweet`allure

Posts: 12
Joined: 5/28/2004
Status: offline

Do you have or have you ever had a mentor to help you become the Dominant you are today? Who was that person?

Have you ever considered a submissive as a mentor? What do you think about a submissive as a mentor to a Dominant?

In my opinion, of course a submissive can and should mentor a Dominant. Of course this can be tricky at times because the submissive has to resist the urge to mould the perfect Dominant.

It is the mentor's job to give direction, not take the reins and lead. Once the student has been shown where to go, the path they take is left for them to choose.

Who better knows the dedication and patience one must develop to become an accomplished Dominant than an experienced submissive?

i look forward to your responses and thank you

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: a Master's Mentor - a submissive? - 7/20/2004 9:34:24 AM

angelthighhighs

Posts: 104
Joined: 5/29/2004
Status: offline

when i first started in this lifestyle i had one major Mentor, one that i went to when i had questions or doubts or concerns. i appreciated his imput a lot. it gradually grew to me having a few that i concidered mentors both Dominants and submissives as you learn different things from both sides. what bothers me is many especially online it seems use mentoring as a way to play. mentoring in my opinion isn't about that. its about having someone you trust that will be open with and will be open with you. one that doesn't tell you what to do but guides you to finding the answers yourself, that causes you to think, to look inside. when mentoring i believe there are boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. its sorta like a boss having an affair with someone who works for them. in some ways its an unfair advantage. i do know that many relationships move on further out of a mentoring situation but i believe it should be done with care.

as far as a sub mentoring a Dominant i know i've mentored a few. it gives them a different prespective on things. its definitely not a case of the sub trying to lead the Dominant but helping a Dominant...isn't that what a sub does

help people. i have had many Doms usually males not the Dommes... tell me there is nothing i can learn from a sub...oh god are they so full of themselves. we can learn from anyone. i've even learned things from those newer in the lifestyle than i am but the key is being opened to learning and wanting to learn and not having the attitude of knowing it all.

(in reply to sweet`allure)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: a Master's Mentor - a submissive? - 7/20/2004 10:40:54 AM

ScorpioMaster

Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline

The mentors I have had I have met along the way on my path of enlighten and self discovery. They have given me advice and understanding that has been very help full to me. Some of them have been Dominate and submissive who I call my friend. I know my journey is no over but only beginning after 5 years of seeking out this lifestyle. I know I can go to any one of them to give me the advice I seek and need to understand my role as a Dominate.

(in reply to sweet`allure)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: a Master's Mentor - a submissive? - 7/20/2004 10:44:12 AM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

A submissive certainly can (I wouldn't say "should") mentor a dominant...however, in my opinion, it would not be wise for an owned submissive to mentor her dominant. Whole dynamic gets really screwy.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to sweet`allure)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: a Master's Mentor - a submissive? - 7/20/2004 11:46:11 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

i"ve personally mentored many subs and Doms alike. Last week at our munch a new Dominant asked me to mentor him.
I'm with everyone else on this. A mentor is like a best friend. Big brother or sister. They never venture over into play with anyone they are mentoring. Being a mentor doesn't mean being a predator. I've supervised a great many play sessions over the years for those I've mentored. Taught a lot.

I also agree with Thorns, a submissive cannot mentor their own Dominant. I've had one Dominant prior. I was asked to train his new submissive for him. I respectfully declined. Why would I want to do that anyway?

(in reply to sweet`allure)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: a Master's Mentor - a submissive? - 7/20/2004 6:20:17 PM

angelthighhighs

Posts: 104
Joined: 5/29/2004
Status: offline

i agree with not mentoring your own Dominant. at least in my thought that could lead to some confusion. i would find it hard to sub to someone i've Mentored. nothing on them. just a whole different attitude.

(in reply to sub4hire)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: a Master's Mentor - a submissive? - 7/24/2004 11:10:52 PM

jillwfsub4blkdom

Posts: 375
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

i consider a mentor as a teacher, and a friend. i have spoken with others who have had interest in becoming a Dominant and i have always suggested they find a mentor who is a Dom/Domme. i would think that it would be easier to learn from Them because that person is coming from the same perspective. i have had mentors who were both subs and Doms though.

jill

(in reply to angelthighhighs)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: a Master's Mentor - a submissive? - 7/25/2004 12:11:15 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Some of them have been Dominate and submissive

You can either have a Dominant and a submissive OR a Dominate and a submit.

Not one of each.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to jillwfsub4blkdom)

Profile

Post #: 8