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what's expected? - 7/20/2004 9:45:44 AM

innocentangel

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Joined: 7/12/2004
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ok, as being fairly new here, i thought perhaps i would post something to get O/other's opinions on the matter. I am a girl trying to adapt to her slavery in a Vanilla marriage....but what all is expected of a slave? how can she become the best she can be to be found pleasing to her Master? any thoughts or ideas??? just pondering....................

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RE: what's expected? - 7/20/2004 10:15:09 AM

Leonidas

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Joined: 2/16/2004
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Hello angel.

Just about anything can be expected of a slave. There are some interesting takes on this on the "skills of a female submissive" thread elsewhere on these boards. In your situation, it might be better to get the question of what you expect out of the way first. Just how would you intend or expect to be of service to a prospective master? Given that you are married, and intend to stay married, do you forsee being someone's sometime sexual slave? If so, would this be an illicit relationship, or would your husband know? Would you want to be of service in some other way? When you say "living with my slavery" I hope that you realize that you are conceptually reducing a complex, ongoing process (serving a master) to a thing (a noun). Many young women such as yourself say "my slavery" meaning the desire within them to be at the mercy of, and in service to, a master. It is nothing more than a desire. It is not unlike when people say that they are "in love" meaning that they have a certain feeling toward someone. As with genuine love, genuine slavery is really a process, not a feeling or a thing. It is that feeling that you have right now motivating you toward doing things every day that are in service to someone else, rather than being focused on your own ambitions and desires.

There is a saying that I am fond of. If you want him to be more masculine, be more feminine. If "your slavery" is the genuine desire to serve and please, you can find fulfillment of that desire in service to the man that you profess to love, no matter how "vanilla" he may be. It is often the case, as well, that if you show your man "your slavery" you may find that he will show you things that you have not seen as well.

The path that you are on, young slave girl, leads to you eventually fucking up or just plain working up enough justification in your mind to put an end to your marriage. I have seen this scenario play itself out more times than I can count over the years. If you do, in fact, have the heart of a slave girl, as opposed to being a woman who is just seeking the gratification of some sexual desire, the path that you need to take right now is one of open discussion with the man that you love of your needs, so that you can decide, together, whether the marriage that you have can survive. To do otherwise is to risk causing needless pain to someone that you profess to love out of your own need. It is hardly slave like.

I have given you the answers that I have because you indicated that you are a Gorean girl, or at least think you might be interested in that direction. You will get some other responses that are very different from different quarters of the community, I am sure.

Take care of yourself.

Leonidas

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 7/20/2004 10:17:58 AM >

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RE: what's expected? - 7/20/2004 10:22:09 AM

ScorpioMaster

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Leonidas You are making very good points. Angel remember what is one person concept of slavery may not be true for every one. Open communication with your husband is the first start. You can not grow into you seek and if this is not what he want then you are spinning your wheels getting more frustrated. :) Good luck with your search

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RE: what's expected? - 7/20/2004 11:00:49 AM

Sinergy

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Leonidas said it best, angel. What you and your partner work out to be a Master / slave relationship is not something other people can really advise you on. The only way for it to happen is for each of you to do for the other what the other needs, and the only way to find that out is communication between the two of you.

Just my opinion, could be wrong, but there ya go.

Good luck,

Sinergy

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RE: what's expected? - 7/20/2004 11:25:58 AM

MzBerlin

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Joined: 7/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: innocentangel

ok, as being fairly new here, i thought perhaps i would post something to get O/other's opinions on the matter. I am a girl trying to adapt to her slavery in a Vanilla marriage....but what all is expected of a slave? how can she become the best she can be to be found pleasing to her Master? any thoughts or ideas??? just pondering....................

Hello, innocentangel-
First off- Good for you for getting involved and putting a post in these forums. I know that it's tough to stand up and talk about yourself in front of the **Big Bad World** With that said- slavery and submission have always seeemed to be very personal and defined by the people in the dynamic. As for what is expected of you- What does YOUR Master expect? How can you become the best you can be? Either join the Military or find out who the hell you are!! I haven't had the opportunity to scope out your profile yet or your other posts so I don't have a scope of who you are yet. (on c.com)
Now, As for me, myself and I- I have put myself through three major relationships (including one marriage) with men that were not in tune with my submissive nature. What did this cause? Me to try and top from the bottom. It caused me to push and pry and abuse my partner. It made me wonder what was wrong with me, why didn't these men LOVE me the way I NEEDED to be loved?? The answer is that I was barking up the wrong tree. I am NOT saying that is what you're up to, but I think you need to find out what YOU want and who YOU are before you can be in a healthy D/s dynamic, or M/s. Whatever.
Hope I made sense, and if not please email me with any questions. As a newbie to this site, I am all about making friends.
As Always
Berlin

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