THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH

THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (Full Version)

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faceseat -> THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 8:23:03 AM)
After several months as a member, i still have not found a partner. However, that is as you would expect. The Ratio of Dommes to subs means that there are always too many subs. Important then to retain a sense of humour and know how to laugh at myself. There is a temptation to respond angrily to a Domme who did not furnish you with a reply, however, this should always be resisted as you just make yourself look childish and emotionally incontinent! Not that it has prevented me from posting terse, clipped expressions of disappointment! I am indebted to collarme for this forum though: it enables me to feel much less alone!

faceseat -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 8:26:42 AM)
I might add, that no one is under any obligation to reply of course! It's just nice when they make the effort!

trampleonme -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 8:33:46 AM)
You are correct in that there seems to be an overabundance of subbies and not nearly enough dommes. Well all i know is that when approaching a domme in an email or im i really never expect anything in return ..... i am always polite, respectful and restrained and always think of what i can offer to them in my contact. Since there are many many MANY subbies vying for their attention it is not uncommon for them to overlook yet another ... after all, i feel that most of the responses they get are from people really not serious and it must be time consumong for them to have to weed through the masses of 'wanna be subbies' and 'posers'. But i have fond that most do answer a polite, complete, thoughtout, intro to them. thats just my 2 cents

shygirldesires -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 8:41:01 AM)
some look for years..... the needle in a haystack is of great reward when finally found

Phoenixandnika -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 8:48:47 AM)
I know from my experience on collarme that most of the Dommes are looking for specific things within profiles and even emails to them. There are many who if you do not have those specific things they will simply not respond, which is understandable and within the realistic scope of a Dominate period. After all if you can not follow simple instructions why would you be able to carry out anything else? I hope you do not take this as a personal attack because it is not meant as such, yet simple observation. I have read your profile, and there are a few things that may turn off some Dommes. 1.Your profile is long and repetative. 2. qoute: I guess i need a vanilla dimension to the relationship as well. end qoute, This statement may tend to turn off many Dommes. Granted that does not mean that there is not a side to a D/s or M/s relationship where the submissive or slave is not cherished, or their needs are not considered but that is not the same vanilla dimensions. Nika, Phoenix's Devoted Wench

pinkpleasures -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 9:11:30 AM)
Gawd, i hate searching; so many disappointments. i try not to invest in people/Doms/Masters until i have met Them in real life, but after a prolonged period of IM and phone, it's hard not to feel hopeful, and then disappointed if nothing comes of it. i have been tempted before to give up, but my heart yearns so, i cannot. i keep believing someday He will show Himself. pinkpleasures

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 9:13:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures Gawd, i hate searching; so many disappointments. i try not to invest in people/Doms?Masters until i have met Them in real life, but after a prolonged period of IM and phone, it's hard not to feel hopeful, and then disappointed if nothing comes of it. That's one of the reasons I do not HAVE a "prolonged period of IM and phone." If someone is serious about getting involved with me, then they should get to business right off.

faceseat -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 9:33:26 AM)
Nika, Thank you for your thoughtful commentary on my profile; it was kind of you. It is too long isn't it? I was worried about that, also, i am worried that it sounds selfish, i didn't mean it to. I have changed it so often, as i am never satisfied that it's saying what it should about me.

AAkasha -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 9:48:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: faceseat Nika, Thank you for your thoughtful commentary on my profile; it was kind of you. It is too long isn't it? I was worried about that, also, i am worried that it sounds selfish, i didn't mean it to. I have changed it so often, as i am never satisfied that it's saying what it should about me. You might want to consider changing your collarme name (same goes for trampleonme). Both sound like fantasy job descriptions and not suggestive of someone looking for a personal, affectionate relationship. Akasha

kimmypuss -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 9:51:24 AM)
just a suggestion...? Have you thought of having a screen name that has a little more...personality? oops - there you go. lol I concur with Aa :)

faceseat -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 9:59:47 AM)
Mistress AAKasha, It was kind of you to trouble yourself with a reply. Re: my online name; i think i will change it actually; i've never been happy with it!

domleybobby -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 12:40:07 PM)
It's not about to many subs to the ratio of dommes. It's about the ratio between men and women online. There are roughly ten men to every one man online. That means that there are tons of men seeking to few women. A woman puts an ad online and get literally hundreds of replies. A man puts an ad online and gets nothing. That is the reality of it for online dating. The men are often desperate and frustrated, and the woman feel hastled and become spoiled by all of the attention. (jaded) Look at womens profiles and see how often they say really nasty things to the reader. Only in a world where there are ten men for every one woman would they get away with such insulting behavior. You really can't blame these ladies, they live in a world where men are disposable, and there is always another one vieing for attention after they flaked the last one off. It's like a man being a rock star. With that much power of course he's going to take women for granted and become jaded. (and a player) As so many online women have become. The worst part is that once you win one of these prizes, they will always have one eye cocked on the internet looking to see if they can "better deal" the man they are with. They get a mind set that with all of them men messaging them, that there has to be a "prince charming" just around the corner. It's addictive for them I think. Sad. The worst part is of course, that "prince charming" is not "just around the corner". (just lots of the same regular guys) And they get so picky that they fail to see what is right in front of them. And if prince charming did exist, he wouldn't be with them anyway, he'd be with a trophy wife. But of course, like any rule, there are exceptions. And many wonderful women online (both domme and sub) who once caught might be loyal. I just haven't met any yet. Robert

LadyHibiscus -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 12:48:42 PM)
Wow, Robert, it sounds like you've had some bad experiences. I guess it's a good sign that you continue to look for matches online, though? Ms F

AAkasha -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 12:52:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: faceseat Mistress AAKasha, It was kind of you to trouble yourself with a reply. Re: my online name; i think i will change it actually; i've never been happy with it! Another thing you might want to consider is to not refer to women you don't know as "Mistress." It's not my name. The "rule" of calling all women "Mistress" (or dominant women "Mistress") is a male fantasy invented through porn and perpetuated online. If you don't know the woman, address her by name or by a generic polite form. Most femdoms appreciated being treated like a normal woman until there is some established relationship. Akasha

Phoenixandnika -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 12:52:58 PM)
deleted

Marx -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 1:09:46 PM)
Nika, I'm sorry but i have been scrupulously polite in my online dealings. You need to explain what you mean when you say i am accusatory and make assumptions. I am trying as hard as is humanly possible to avoid making assuptions!

Marx -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 1:12:28 PM)
Nika, I should have explained, in a fit of paranoia and self-doubt, i closed my previous account with the name faceseat. I am now Marx, after the great revolutionary Philosopher!

JohnWarren -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 1:13:43 PM)
deleted Multiple names explained

Marx -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 1:15:46 PM)
AAKasha, Thank you once again for your wise counsel: THERE IS SO MUCH TO LEARN ABOUT BDSM ETIQUETTE! Yours Sincerely Marx, formally faceseat!

Phoenixandnika -> RE: THE STRAIN OF THE SEARCH (10/12/2005 1:16:39 PM)
laughs Okay I had myself totally confused! quote: It's not about to many subs to the ratio of dommes. It's about the ratio between men and women online. There are roughly ten men to every one man online. That means that there are tons of men seeking to few women. A woman puts an ad online and get literally hundreds of replies. A man puts an ad online and gets nothing. That is the reality of it for online dating. The men are often desperate and frustrated, and the woman feel hastled and become spoiled by all of the attention. (jaded) Look at womens profiles and see how often they say really nasty things to the reader. Only in a world where there are ten men for every one woman would they get away with such insulting behavior. You really can't blame these ladies, they live in a world where men are disposable, and there is always another one vieing for attention after they flaked the last one off. It's like a man being a rock star. With that much power of course he's going to take women for granted and become jaded. (and a player) As so many online women have become. The worst part is that once you win one of these prizes, they will always have one eye cocked on the internet looking to see if they can "better deal" the man they are with. They get a mind set that with all of them men messaging them, that there has to be a "prince charming" just around the corner. It's addictive for them I think. Sad. The worst part is of course, that "prince charming" is not "just around the corner". (just lots of the same regular guys) And they get so picky that they fail to see what is right in front of them. And if prince charming did exist, he wouldn't be with them anyway, he'd be with a trophy wife. But of course, like any rule, there are exceptions. And many wonderful women online (both domme and sub) who once caught might be loyal. I just haven't met any yet. Robert My post was directed to Robert. So I will ask again repost it here and now. If you have such a low opinion of the women within this forum as a whole, why are you still part of it? Why would you have a profile, and active profile where you feel the way you do? Nika{Phoenix}

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