RE: Physical Attraction?

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imtempting -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/13/2005 6:43:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Misstoyou I have to say I'm "shallow" as well when selecting my subs, though I like to call it having a fine sense of aesthetics. lol I can understand the sub having that need as well. That whole chemistry thing is important because I'm looking for a visceral reaction from my submissive, not simply a mental one. But unless you're just totally repulsed by the picture, I also agree that a face-to-face meeting is the only way to truly judge if you both mesh. You wrote what I feel aswel..

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/13/2005 10:55:30 AM)
Personally, I don't photograph well at all.... so I would prefer not to decide anything on a picture. As far as chemistry is concerned? Well, when I first met my husband there was absolutely no chemistry, but since I really enjoyed talking to him I continued to date him. It wasn't until after a few dates that I really started feeling some spark, and not until much later that I realized how taken I was with him... My vote, meet her, get to know her really well and then decide about the chemistry. Jewel

plantlady64 -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/13/2005 12:56:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sebastian63 quote: ORIGINAL: plantlady64 My Master took this photo as he likes to take pictures of me, he picked my outfit ,I wear his collar 24/7 & I cut my hair myself at home to keep it out of my eyes. I don't even wear makeup, so if you are saying I'm trying to doll my photo up the answer is NOT SO. I dress to please my Master, but when we met we had not even seen a photo of each other as looks are secondary to a real connection between spirits for me. Sincerely, sub suzanne I understand that all the visuals are your master's preferences and that you and your spirit get no pleasure out of it. I didn't mean to be snippy--it's just that you didn't seem to reflect on my question as a valid (if complex) issue but more as an opportunity to react with a (in my opinion) sophomoric comment. Satisfying to you and your spirit perhaps, but helpful to my spirit? Hello Again, OK I am honestly sorry about the shallow hal comment. It just drives me nuts that people are so wrapped up on appearances and not about the inside of themselves and others in today’s world. It's one of my most frustrating issues for me. I'm sorry I took the frustration out on you. I think if more people could find a way to focus on their spirits, and personalities instead of colors of skin, height, weight and things like that. It makes me sick to see so many people throwing so much money and effort into the fake hair, nails, plastic surgery etc.. I think the world would be such a different more balanced place for all of us if the exterior weren’t so valued in our society. I almost (I said almost) wish God had made us all blind. That way we'd focus on what's real & really important instead of appearances. It's like people are acting like two year olds to me, you know more interested in the box a gift came in rather than the gift inside. Sincerely, sub suzanne

poserdetector -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/13/2005 4:33:13 PM)
anyone who judges looks in this lifestyle in any way is asking for trouble

HentaiGamerKitty -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/13/2005 5:21:58 PM)
Personally, I would say "meet her in person" first. Some people just don't photograph well. Sometimes a person seems sexy when you meet them in real life because of the way they move, they way they talk, carry themselves,etc..these are things a photo doesn't show. I don't think you shouldn't enter a relationship with someone you find physically repulsive...however, I don't believe in putting too much emphasis on supermodel perfection. I've found that people who initially seem a bit "plain" often seem gorgeous to me once I've gotten to know them. My rule of thumb is that any person who looks vaguely human and has good hygiene (and who I mesh well with) is someone who has the possibility to become someone that I think is gorgeous. My Master is in his mid thirties, pleasantly plump, with a receding hairline. I think he's GORGEOUS. He has the most intense, mischievious eyes and a smile to melt my heart (not to mention a sexy voice that leaves me quivering.) He's not stereotypically "movie star" good looking, but I think he's the greatest. Likewise, I'm not exactly a Playboy Bunny either. I think that oftentimes in this lifestyle, attraction is more about what a person does/how they act/how they make us feel as opposed to their looks. Granted my Master would probably prefer I was size 3 than a size 14...but my heart/soul/submission is what makes me beautiful to him.

sebastian63 -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/13/2005 6:32:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xanderzzz The problem with you would be if you have such a small view of what is attractive. If you think that only a model is attractive then you are the one with a problem. I don't think I have a narrow view of what's attractive, and part of the turn-off was about atttitude: "You'll see my picture," she said, "And then say 'No way'." So there was that part of it. I wasn't saying ANYONE was the one with the "problem."

sunshine333 -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/14/2005 5:32:26 AM)
looks and that "spark" can be deceiving. (just ask dr. phil!! lol) i understand what you mean about the attitude, sebastion. confidence goes a long way! (as does lack of). when i started in this lifestyle i spent a lot of time chatting with a dominant. the only thing we knew about each other was our chat room names. i didn't even know what sex this person was until a month or so later. it turns out she was a woman. i had no intention on ever being owned by or serving a woman but i felt myself so drawn to her as a person. we hadn't exchanged photos for a couple of months. and i think we didn't even meet for a few months. she was not the least bit attractive and i felt myself a little disappointed, however, i already felt "hers." i grew to appreciate her physical traits that i was able to .. and ignore the rest. it was an interesting experience for me and really opened my mind. i learned the difference between listening to my brain (which can trick us) and listening to my heart. i have also experienced the opposite. i was very attracted to a man because of his looks and confidence. turns out he was very ugly inside. about the attitude .. i, personally, could never be with a dominant who didn't exude confidence. but that's just me. if you see something special in this woman ... if you like the way you feel around her (when you meet) .. then the "looks" can be secondary. good luck. :) ~sunshine

submissivesilk -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/16/2005 2:58:31 PM)
i met the Man who currently has me under consideration on this site on about July 1st. W/we spoke every day and He was amazing. W/we met in person on August 23 and until then i had never even seen a picture of Him. He is a bit older than me so i really didn't know what to expect. His personality came right thru and He was as beautiful in person as He was online. Granted, this isn't for everyone, but sometimes i wonder if not seeing a picture isn't better than seeing one. i'm a firm believer in looking past the outside, but of course there are times when that is not possible. Personally i would give it more time before i decided if i did or did not like her. You never know what will grow from conversation.

ropesubby39 -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/16/2005 6:01:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HentaiGamerKitty Personally, I would say "meet her in person" first. Some people just don't photograph well. Sometimes a person seems sexy when you meet them in real life because of the way they move, they way they talk, carry themselves,etc..these are things a photo doesn't show. I don't think you shouldn't enter a relationship with someone you find physically repulsive...however, I don't believe in putting too much emphasis on supermodel perfection. I've found that people who initially seem a bit "plain" often seem gorgeous to me once I've gotten to know them. My rule of thumb is that any person who looks vaguely human and has good hygiene (and who I mesh well with) is someone who has the possibility to become someone that I think is gorgeous. My Master is in his mid thirties, pleasantly plump, with a receding hairline. I think he's GORGEOUS. He has the most intense, mischievious eyes and a smile to melt my heart (not to mention a sexy voice that leaves me quivering.) He's not stereotypically "movie star" good looking, but I think he's the greatest. Likewise, I'm not exactly a Playboy Bunny either. I think that oftentimes in this lifestyle, attraction is more about what a person does/how they act/how they make us feel as opposed to their looks. Granted my Master would probably prefer I was size 3 than a size 14...but my heart/soul/submission is what makes me beautiful to him. I agree with you all the way.......the beauty is in the eyes of the beholder funny how many dont see it that way......

windchymes -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/16/2005 6:03:47 PM)
There are gazillions of single people in all the personal ad sites all over the internet..... because they don't feel attracted to the picture. Much cuter in person, windchymes

ropesubby39 -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/17/2005 3:30:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes There are gazillions of single people in all the personal ad sites all over the internet..... because they don't feel attracted to the picture. Much cuter in person, windchymes I dont go much with a picture, if i am connecting with a Dom mentally, that's a good sign....pictures are just pictures which for me dont tell me who the person really is. ropesubby [:)]

Rommel -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/18/2005 1:46:52 PM)
This question seems like a tough one initially but at the core of this question is an important issue. The question deals mainly with physical attraction and that in my opinion doesn't come from the many wonderful sides of mental/emotional attraction that a Dom can offer. With that said, my response is greared strictly from the physical attraction perspective. I feel that in order to worship a perspective Domme/Dom I would have to find the person to be attractive. I feel that maybe not all people see it this way. But as I look at couples, I don't see too many trolls with attractive other halfs, unless of course the troll is rich (and I do see a fair share of couples fitting this mold). The real question seems to be whether or not you can take one for the team, in other words is your love of BDSM greater than your need to be attracted in order to worship. Mine is NOT. But hey, to each their own.

Kasia -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/18/2005 2:20:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: plantlady64 I think the world would be such a different more balanced place for all of us if the exterior weren’t so valued in our society. I would say that truly balanced people take equal care of their interior as wel as exterior. If one claims to have best personality in the world and looks like something cat dragged out of trash, I would consider that person seriously confused in life matters.

HentaiGamerKitty -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/18/2005 4:22:10 PM)
Yes, but sometimes a person does take care of themselves but lacks certain attractive qualities (for example a man who loses his hair or a woman with a homely face.) These have nothing to do with "taking care of yourself."

krikket -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/18/2005 5:04:51 PM)
oop..shoulda finished reading the posts..lol.. but it seemed like such an obvious reply i couldn't contain myself..sorry for the duplicate answer. jimini quote: ORIGINAL: sebastian63 When I saw her picture I was not physically attracted to her, but she has a lot to offer. Also, don't discount the fact that some of us take lousy pictures. You might want to wait until y'all meet to decide if there's any chemistry or not -- just a suggestion... cheers jimini

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/18/2005 10:40:09 PM)
quote: I don't think I have a narrow view of what's attractive, and part of the turn-off was about atttitude: "You'll see my picture," she said, "And then say 'No way'." I think I know how this can be annoying and too much responsibility to take on in that first it prepares your mind/sets you up to see unattractive, and even if you're not terribly dissapointed, you still remember her self esteem is in the toilet and it will be your job to carry it out of there, which is a heavy burden. M

plantlady64 -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/19/2005 10:20:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kasia quote: ORIGINAL: plantlady64 I think the world would be such a different more balanced place for all of us if the exterior weren’t so valued in our society. I would say that truly balanced people take equal care of their interior as wel as exterior. If one claims to have best personality in the world and looks like something cat dragged out of trash, I would consider that person seriously confused in life matters. Hi Kasia, I value your opinion, but I feel you took what I'd said out of context. I'd said quote: I think if more people could find a way to focus on their spirits, and personalities instead of colors of skin, height, weight and things like that. It makes me sick to see so many people throwing so much money and effort into the fake hair, nails, plastic surgery etc.. I think the world would be such a different more balanced place for all of us if the exterior weren’t so valued in our society. I agree to dress attractively and have seriously good hygiene is very important and attractive to me. We should make the best of the natural beauty we have been afforded. I just think as far as all the surface make up & alterations by fake methods people put themselves through thinking this is the only socially acceptable way they can be beautiful is very sad. Our society sends the message if you are not physically model quality perfect you are ugly. I've found a large portion internally ugly people have beautiful exteriors & some of the most beautiful people in the world were not gifted with perfect skin, teeth, stature or Ford Girl proportions. I agree you shouldn't run around looking like a vagabond, smelling bad, or being physically dirty, but to feel if you have brown eyes you're not beautiful unless you wear blue contacts or if you are a A cup breasted lady you can't be hot without implants etc.. is very sad. That was the point I was trying to communicate. Sincerely, sub suzanne

Kasia -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/19/2005 1:05:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: plantlady64 I agree to dress attractively and have seriously good hygiene is very important and attractive to me. We should make the best of the natural beauty we have been afforded. I just think as far as all the surface make up & alterations by fake methods people put themselves through thinking this is the only socially acceptable way they can be beautiful is very sad. Our society sends the message if you are not physically model quality perfect you are ugly. I've found a large portion internally ugly people have beautiful exteriors & some of the most beautiful people in the world were not gifted with perfect skin, teeth, stature or Ford Girl proportions. I agree you shouldn't run around looking like a vagabond, smelling bad, or being physically dirty, but to feel if you have brown eyes you're not beautiful unless you wear blue contacts or if you are a A cup breasted lady you can't be hot without implants etc.. is very sad. That was the point I was trying to communicate. Sincerely, sub suzanne If that is what you had in mind, I couldnt agree more. I only somehow got the impression you overreact a bit when it comes to looks. I see nothing wrong in wearing a decent makeup and having my hair died, things like that. But to operate my tits or something like that - for me thats ridicolous. Anyway, none is perfect but personality is something that matters to people more than they would admit. Those with lack of personality think that "improving" themselves physically will make them different and more desirable persons - sad delusion.

trueshadow -> RE: Physical Attraction? (10/21/2005 12:41:11 PM)
This is an important question. I agree that one says a lot about themselves by the way the take care of themselves (or not). Poor hygiene is inexcusable. We can't all be a supermodel or an gorgeous actor, but we can all make the best of what we have, and like ourselves for making the best of our situation. On the other hand, either the chemistry is there or not. It does take time to get to know someone. That's why office romances happen. One gets to know the person. If you meet, and still don't think there's a chance, be honest to yourself about it. If there can be some meeting of the minds, good. For example, I wouldn't care what a woman looks like (if she bathed regularly), if she could whip my ass and torture my cock and balls. I might not want to have sex with her, but I've had women I'm not attracted to torture me...

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