ElanSubdued
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wildonenv,
quote:
This is in relation to "strict bondage" wherein she will let me out when/if she deems fit. No time frame. Now in a way, that scares the hell out of me to the point of being turned on. Yet, the turn on goes away if she truly is going to have me in that position for hours/days/whatever. I would be miserable and would go insane. I know that already. But if it is just the threat of it that turns her on of indefinite bondage, that can be fun. Guess you are right, just need to get to know each other more.
Nobody here can answer this question for you. You need to talk to your Domina. Having said this, I'll attempt to fill in a few blanks for you, as follows:
- No sane, sensible, experienced Domina would leave you tied up unless she was there to monitor at all times.
- At any time, if you indicate a need to get out, your Domina will let you out. You can negotiate this up front. If she won't agree to this or you don't have confidence that she'll respect your wishes, then don't play this way.
- Make sure all your breathing pathways are clear. Your mouth, nostrils, upper chest and lungs should not be restricted. Even if you're in a full bondage bag/suit, holes can be cut over your mouth and nose. Sometimes breathing tubes are placed in the mouth and nose. This can be quite a turn-on! If you don't want anything covering your head, communicate this to your partner. It is perfectly acceptable to be in very strict bondage with nothing covering your head.
- Because you already have concerns about being bound more strictly, at the outset, I suggest staying away from any kind of bondage that restricts verbal communication. Thus, at first, I'd avoid gags, full head coverings, and bondage bags/suits. This way, you can always use verbal communication and eye contact to communicate your needs. Later on, if you feel more comfortable, you can set up non-verbal signals, such as a chord, near your hand, that you can pull. There are lots of ways to set up non-verbal signaling and this will allow you to be bound in ways that limit your speach, eye contact, etc. Similar to the note at the end of my previous paragraph, it is perfectly acceptable to request that your verbal communication and/or eye communication not be cut off. These are things you can negotiate with your Domina. In the beginning, you may find the idea of losing eye contact intolerable. As time goes on, this may become of interest to you or it may stay a hard limit. These things tend to evolve and grow as you grow with your Domina. I encourage you to keep an open mind.
- The notion of keeping you in bondage for days on end is hot, fantasy talk. Sometimes we kinksters say things in ways we don't really mean. Make sure you know what your Domina literally means by asking her. When it comes to bondage, most of us can only tolerate a few hours at best. Bathroom breaks, cramps, and many other needs come into play. Some people like being bound overnight, but it is rare that this is in complete, totally immobilized bondage. If you're being bound overnight and your partner will be asleep, always, always, ALWAYS have keys and escape tools within your reach. Promise your partner that you'll use these tools only in an emergency. If you're in a situation where you may need to free yourself, this means your arms/hands and possibly your legs/feet can only be minimally bound.
- Most importantly, talk to your partner and share your concerns! Of the more edgy things I can think of, strict bondage is one that is easier to navigate. Please don't' think I'm saying this to diminish your feelings and concerns. Your feelings and concerns are *always* valid. In terms of navigating your concerns about bondage, here is a suggestion. At first, perhaps your partner would only partially bind you for short periods of time. She can then extend these periods as you become more comfortable in bondage. Once you're used to being partially bound, your partner might increase the level of bondage, in baby steps, until you are totally immobilized. For your first experience with total immobilization, you might only stay bound for a few minutes. Again, as before, as you gain more experience and comfort, your Domina may increase the periods of time that you're bound for. One thing that will really help is if your Domina demonstrates that at any time you need to get out, she gets you out! Explain this to her and practice in smaller steps so that you gain trust in her to do this. I'll remind you once more, talk to your Domina and share your concerns. I'd be surprised if the two of you can't find supportive, loving ways to explore this.
Hope this helps,
Elan.
< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 5/2/2008 2:56:06 PM >
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Hi, quick question please. - 
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